My Obligatory "End Of the Year" Blog...

Well another year has come and gone, and what do I have to show for it? Every year I start out ambitious enough to make some real changes in my life, become more organized, be healthier, not freak out so much, dry my hair more often, you know...the normal stuff...and every year I look back at the year and think, "maybe I'll do better next year." I'm like the Bridget Jones of America. Having said that, I don't see how I can possibly record all of my thoughts and feelings having to do with the entirety of 2005, and this blog probably won't be as eloquent as I'd really like it to be....hut hey, maybe it'll be better next year.

I made a lot of plans for my life last December. It's funny to see how my plans weren't quite perfect. There have been changes in my life of course...A new job, a new city, a new car, a new home, a new sister-in-law, and two new godsons. I guess those are all kind of big things. My hair is shorter, I feel slighly more mature in some areas of life...but the thing that strikes me is how much happier I am this year than I was last. Last year, I went home to visit my family at christmas and hated the thought of returning the place where I lived. I'm sure I cried. The other day I left my family, and I didn't feel like I was leaving my home, but going home. When I look back on the changes in 2005, I realize that most of them had little or nothing to do with my making a decision in the beginning. Yes I had "a say" in if they would happen or not (well most of them anyway)...I had to make a choice, but they came into my life as a part of God's goodness to me. I'm glad that God is in control of this crazy world!

So I wish you all a Happy New Year! I hope you can all look back over the past year and praise God for his goodness to you. I hope that your dreams are coming true and that God is opening your eyes to the wonderful things that he has in store for you.

So long 2005!

Rachel, This Is Your Life...

Didn't there used to a be a show where they would have someone come on and then say, "This is your life," and flash back a bunch of scenes from their life with voices and people from their past??? I might be making up a fictitious show, but if there were such a thing, my life could have definitely qualified for that show last night. My Aunt and Uncle come over for dinner with my Grandma and Grandpa. Always a good time! We sat around the table talking over the events of Christmases past and enjoying each other's company.

I had also found out earlier that day that a good friend from grade school and high school was in town from Oregon and we seem to making it a habit of getting together for our yearly Christmas catch up sessions. The plans were set for me to get together with two of high school friends later that night at a local bar. We met there and had a great time talking and catching up...laughing about old times...and telling stories from our time away from each other. During our conversation I mention to them that I had just found out where another friend of ours from high school (a girl I had known and been a dear friend to, for almost my entire life) was working in the area. As we sit around the table beer in hand, my friends pull out the cell phone and we 411-ed her place of work. Sure enough, she was working. I hadn't seen this girl in nearly 2 years, maybe more. We made plans for her to meet us at my parent's house after she got off work. Soon we were all sitting around my kitchen table with a bag of White Castle talking and laughing.

It's nice to catch up with old friends. I think it reminds you of where you came from. I don't think we see how much we've changed, and yet in some ways stayed the exact same, until we see our past. I'm thankful for the opportunities I've had to be with people I love over this break...and I know the fun is just beginning...TODAY I GET TO SEE MELISSA!!!! : )

Oh There's No Place Like Home For The Holidays...

Ah family! I am totally enjoying my time "up north" with my family for Christmas. Last night was awesome having Christmas Eve at Jacob's vicarage church(es). I drove up yesterday to meet the fam and Jake cooked us dinner, which was spectacular...how my brother ended up with the crazy cool cooking genes in our family I don't know. Then we got dressed up and went to the children's christmas service at jake's one vicarage church. It was fine...nothing too spectacular, kids saying lines...good stuff. But then we left and went to the little mission church that he lives next door to and preaches at every other week. It's a tiny old church with rounded pews. There were about 30 people there, but for some reason it was one of the best Christmas services I have ever been to. My brother basically "officiated" the whole thing. It was cool to see him doing the pastor thing and I was really proud of him. It definitely made me smile. Singing carols at the top of our lungs, getting compliments on my shoes and later returning to Jake and Gretals for good wine and present opening made the evening a great night on my account. Very Fun.

Today my parents and I (and the three dogs) drove back to STL. My mom cooked a meal that was so good and my grandparents came over to eat and exchange gifts. I love spending time with my grandparents and this was such a low key evening...and it's exactly what I needed. I had told my parents that I didn't want anything for Christmas and instead I wanted them to find an angel tree, or adopt a needy child for christmas instead of getting me a bunch of stuff...I thought my mom didn't really believe me, and of course she got me some little stuff as well, but I opened one box with a card in it, and it had a note telling me that they had donated money in my name to an organization that was helping needy children this Christmas. I seriously started to cry. It was the best gift ever. It's all I wanted for Christmas, and that's what I got. It was amazing.

So here I am on Christmas Night, hanging out with my parents (and the three dogs) and enjoying each other's company without the craziness of trying to see anyone and everyone who might be around...that's what tomorrow is for. Tonight is about spending time with the greatest parents on earth...and that's what I'm going to do now...MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

In The Grand Scheme of Things...

In the grand scheme of things, this is probably not that big of a deal but it's causing me a lot of frustration at this moment and I thought I would try to "write" it out of myself.

I'm sitting in my office one day before Christmas eve and my almost weeklong vacation from work and I am having the same feeling I have had at this time of year for most most of my semi-adult to adult life. It's a feeling in the pit of my stomach that says how will I get it all done. And that feeling gives birth to frustration and displeasure with myself. I am not frustrated or displeased with myself often, in fact my feelings for myself are usualy quite opposite from the ones I am feeling today. Why do I always procrastinate and why must I always be disorganized. I have brief shining moments that I can look back on and think, "wow I was really organized for that event." But most of the time I consider my life a "beautiful disaster." Disaster because it's mass choas...and beautiful because even in the midst of chaos there's something distinctly "me" about it, and I do appreciate my uniqueness.

Anyway it all started this morning as I drove the hour to Springfield for those few last minute gifts. Of course when I got to the store, they were all out of what I was there for and since I had no back up plan I floundered around for a while before heading back home, and to my office, without the intended present or anything to take its place. I headed into my office knowing that I needed to assemble all my receipts and such to be reimbursed and paid out of this year's budget. I've known this was coming. I knew I was going to STL for Christmas. I knew the 2005 would come to an end. I knew I wouldn't be in the office, and that my treasurer and I would likely have to communicate through notes and such to get everything paid out of the proper budget line item and on time. But did I plan ahead for this....no...my receipts are strewn across my office like they exploded from some type of land mine. Of course some of them were electronic receipts in my email inbox, one of which seems to have mysteriously disappeared from its place there. I'm missing two from walmart (which is pretty good considering I had like 400 I could have lost and only 2 of them are missing) I now have to try to organize all of this crumpled paper into some sort of sense for the sweet woman who volunteers to do our church finances...and I am really upset that I can't find everything I need...that my stuff isn't organized. How does this always happen. Whenever I have a vacation coming up, there are always things that need to happen before I leave, and I never quite get them done the way I know I could have because I don't allow enough time. Is this something I will grow out of...I don't know.

I need a personal assistant to organize my life and keep it that way...any takers???

I've Got The Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy...

This morning I got my oil changed in my car. You're probably going to think this is weird, but the oil change place (I don't really know what it's called) has become a place where I know I will get to relax. Sad that I only go there every 3 months. I find myself running around like a crazy person most of the time, but when I go to the oil change place there are at least 30 minutes waiting for me where I do nothing...but sit. It's beautiful. I can read if I want to read. I can take a nap if I want to take a nap. There's always coffee there (bad coffee, but coffee nonetheless) and no one there knows me and needs anything from me. Since my car isn't even a year old yet, I can also rest assured that they will come out and say, "Rachel we changed your oil and everything else looks great" No need for a 300 dollar repair on something that's leaking. It's beautiful. Then I can drive away in my car with clean oil, tire pressure even, and winshield washer fluid filled to the brim. What more can a girl ask for.

Today as I was sitting there I heard two things that caught my interest. Thing number one was the story on the radio about Bill Gates investing over a million dollars in a program designed to teach high schoolers how to play bridge. Ok...I don't keep track of where Mr. Gates puts his money and he is probably doing lots of nice things with his insane fortune, but I find it hard to be excited about the fact that he is putting all that money to a program for BRIDGE!!! I have high schoolers in my youth group that might lose their home because of money issues. I have kids who can't afford new shoes. I have kids that don't have coats for crying out loud...and he wants to teach them to play bridge. Well thank you Mr. Gates for your concern for today's teenagers. Way to understand where their real needs are. Enough of that....

Then as I was sitting there I read an article that made me smile. It was about taking pleasure in life. I think they might have a point there. I know it seems like I rush around a lot and don't take time to smell the proverbial coffee, and I think I see it in other people as well, especially during this time of hustle and bustle. The article talked about all this research about our brains and where pleasure registers there...blah blah blah, but the part that really stuck out to me was a list that a bunch of people compiled about the things that bring them joy; things that make them laugh, smile, and give them happiness. So I decided I am going to make a little list right here, feel free to do the same, and if you tell me what puts a smile on your face...I just might try to make it happen!!!

1.) Great jazz music that is so thick with sound you want to wrap yourself up in it.
2.) Emails from friends.
3.) Babies that giggle
4.) A hug from someone that's bigger than me
5.) A hug from a little child that barely comes above my knees
6.) A Glass of really great wine
7.) Laughing so hard you think you're going to pee your pants, or do something else really embarassing!
8.) The person who washes your hair and give you a head massage at the salon.
9.) Playing trivial pursuit, or the 90s game, with my family
10.) Picking up a friend from the airport...the exact second you see each other and scream because you're so excited.
11.) Telling stories...especially ones that make other people laugh.
12.) The Chanel counter at the department store
13.) Pirones Night
14.) Realizing I've just run further than I ever had before
15.) A good book. Even when I've read it 400 times before
16.) Kids in church
17.) Inside jokes
18.) My dog when she first gets up in the morning and is all sweet
19.) When my dad tells me squirrel stories
20.) Totally ignoring work to make a list of things that make me happy!

Refrigerator Rites...

So today as I was heading into the office my "all christmas all the time" station was getting a little interferance from another station and I heard something that made me stop an think. The guy was talking about his theory on Americans and why they're so busy. I'm probably not even going to begin to do this guy justice, and the accuracy of my adaptation of the story can be questioned but here it is.

He was saying that Americans complain that they don't have time for good friendships and relationships, but he says that Americans make themselves busy to cover the fact that that they don't have good friendships and close relationships. He defined these close relationships by calling them regrigerator rites relationships (when you can walk into someone's home and take something from their refrigerator without asking for permission.)

So of course wanting to think literally on the subject, I began counting in my head the number of people whose refrigerators I feel free to raid. Probably not surprisingly to many of you, I feel ok going in to most people's food and beverage stash without asking permission. Maybe it's because I have a lot of relationships that I would call close...maybe I'm just rude.

Either way, it's good to stop and think about. We were designed to be in relationship with other people. When we find the job, or other things starting to demand a little too much time, maybe it's time to stop and call that good friend to go out for a drink...or maybe stay in and raid each other's refrigerator.

I'm So Happy!!!!!!!!!!!

It's only 10am and so far today I've gotten my

Paycheck....

Christmas Bonus....

and

A Free Washer And Dryer!

wahoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two things I'd like to share...

Thing number one...I have been working on my everday vernacular and adding some new phrases. Thanks to my organ playing, farm loving friend for doing his best to make a country girl out of me yet...Here is my new phrase I would like to share with you...I am busier than a one legged man in a butt kicken contest. I don't know why but that just makes me laugh...and I'd like to invite you all to mix it into your everyday speech as well.

Thing number two...thank you to my dear friend for reminding me of the list that our parents once thought up...and apparently still have. My parent's have great friends who have two children, and my parents have two children as well..me and my brother...so our parents one night, thinking they were funny, made a list at our local restuarant. The list is how they placed bets on who, of us kids, they thought would get married first. The order would change from time to time. I think I have pretty much been at the bottom of it since it's beginning. Anyway I think it's funny that they had a list, and I think it's even funnier that they still have it. Thanks for the reminder Mel... ; )

A Night in The City...

No, I didn't go to NYC, Chicago, St. Louis, or even the booming metropolis of Springfield MO...I'm talking about Silver Dollar City. That is where i spent my evening last night...but since I haven't blogged in the past few days, I thought I would just give you a rundown of the events of my blogging absence (please understand that I will be leaving out my trips to walmart because I feel like the organization has received enough love from my blog in the past couple weeks so I won't be mentioning that today.)

Friday was spent working...nothing out of the ordinary there. Friday night however I went to the church secretary's house and we had christmas dinner and played games. She taught me how to play this dice game that I totally Rocked at!!! I thinkI'm going to Vegas. My luck changed when we moved on to the Trivial Pursuit game. We started with the old-school Silver Screen Edition...oh man, I didn't know ANY answers. My mom would have been disappointed in my because I got one question about Gone With The Wind that I thought I would know, but I had nothing on that either. The we moved on to another edition of the game and I sounded a little smarter...but Judy definitely kicked my behind at the game.

Saturday was Christmas program practice and as my stress level increased, I was lucky enough to have several people here at church tell me that it would all work out and be ok. I chose to believe them. Saturday night my friend Aubrey and I went to the local youth leaders Christmas party. Oh man. We had it at one church's "youth room" It had pool tables, ping pong, fuseball, karoke, and my favorite, the Dance Machine. It was like youth group play time heaven. I had done the dance machine before, but it had been a while. Aubrey and I got on this thing and went to town. I highly recommend you trying it. The first few times you're just going to look like an idiot...but after that it starts to get pretty fun! It grades you when you're done and tells you how well you did. Aubrey and I did it like 10 times in a row to make sure we got the A. I think I want to get one for my house, and play it all the time!

Yesterday was the SS Christmas program. It was really like a "remodeled" Lessons and Carols, if you're familiar with what that is. I know that you can expect some kids to not show up and do their parts, BUT when there are only 7 kids to begin with, you really need all the help you can get. So when I was told that morning that one wouldn't be there, I was thankful for my friends who stepped up to help! I think it went pretty good and people really seemed to enjoy it...Did it come off the way I wanted it to??? Well not how I pictured it in my ideal mind, but I think the message got across and that's what matters. I was so proud of all the kids who got up there and read parts even though they didn't want to! It was fun to see them kind of break out of their shells. Hopefully next year the idea won't make them quite as nervous. I actually gave some kids microphones and let them speak their lines from a closet...never done that before, but I think it worked.

After that some of the youth group, and youth group supporters, went to take some gifts to the one family we adopted. This is one of my favorite activities for the entire year. It was so nice to see the kids see what it's like to help people. I realize that being a director of Christian Outreach is about getting the gospel out to the people...and giving Christmas presents doesn't necissarily say, "Jesus Christ died for your sins...call upon his name and be saved." But I think it does show a little bit of love to people who are in serious need of it. It's just good stuff.

And then my trip to Silver Dollar City. People come from all over the place to see the lights at Christmas. I have sat in "Silver Dollar City Traffic" almost every other night in the past few weeks. But we braved the crowds, and the 30 degree weather to see all the sparkle and christmas cheer it had to offer. I rode a rollar coaster, backwards, in the cold...we watched a christmas tree with dancing lights (an odd thing to have for a main attraction if you ask me)...we saw a very small part of a really strange presentation on musical instruments from the bible...I rode a fake camel...we ate A LOT...saw the parade of lights twice...the girls and I tap danced in the streets. A good time was had by all. I might have some pics to post later from our fun filled Christmas evening.

And now, I am going to clean my office.

Words You Never Thought You'd Hear Me Say...

(Listen Carefully John and Kim)

I absolutely love the people at WalMart. They were so incredibly helpful and understanding when I returned 250 dollars worth of merchandice and purchased 300 more. I love them.

Nerds, Disappointments, and Melissa...

Stick with me on this one, I have a few shout outs I'd like to...well...shout out.

First of all this one goes out to all the nerds. I'm slightly afraid to say it, but our dear friend Delilah, the Angel of the Night, prompted me on this one (and of course, it's only appropriate that she gets a shout out in the nerds section, because I do believe she has made a living out of embracing her nerdiness.) As I walk out of church and step into my car, and turn the key I am greeted with the sound of my engine and the sugary sweet voice of Delilah asking me to call in and share with her one of my favorite Christmas traditions. I wonder what Delilah would do if I called in and told her that our families favorite tradition is hiding the "scary" Santa Claus on each other and trying to one up each other each year. Anyway Delilah reminded me of a time when my dear brother came down to visit me in NC. He's going to get the nod for "biggest nerd" of the night. Jake came to visit and we decided to take a little trip down to Savannah, GA. On our return trip we were trying to find the delilah broadcast to make fun of the people who were calling in...and we found out that she was playing all Christmas, all the time. Jacob kindly reminded me that it was still advent and instead of Christmas songs, Delilah should have been playing Advent songs...so I, being the good sister that I am, told him if only we had a hymnal we could sing advent hymns instead...of course I wasn't planning on him actually having a hymnal...But he, being the ever faithful seminarian had one in the back seat. So as we drove down the highway I held open my cell phone and sang advent hymns with my brother by the glow of my display screen...when we had exhausted that list of songs...he chanted compline. Yep...we're nerds...total nerds. Thanks Delilah for that memory. Also in the Nerd category for tonight I would also like to call everyone's attention to a PetSmart commercial I heard on the radio telling me that I could bring my dog down and have her picture taken with Santa...Do People ACTUALLY do this???? I would think if there was anyone who would pull this kind of shennanigans if would be me, but I know full well that Lucy wouldn't stand for it...Does santa ask them what they want for Christmas. Our Society is kind of messed up don't you think...taking animals to sit on Santa's lap.


On to the Disappointment category. Today I found out that the one family my youth group shopped for for Christmas has been going around to all the agencies in town getting gifts for them, so now I have hundreds of dollars of gifts for kids that don't need them, thus I spent 2 hours with the Salvation Army trying to sort the whole mess out and figure out if we can find kids for these gifts. I think we have it under control...it just means more work for me. sheesh. It's frustrating when you go above and beyond to help someone who says they are needy and they have lied to you...But now we get to help people who really need it, so it's all good, but I was disappointed!

Second Disappointment...If any of you have called my home phone number you know that my answering machine tells you that if you are looking for Rick Beck, he doesn't live here. Yeah...well there is one lady with a particularly thick skull that this message has not yet gotten to. My dear "friend" Kay from American Recovery Systems (please feel free to send hate email to her...she's driving me nuts) keeps calling. She calls before 8am on Saturdays...she calls late at night...she calls in the middle of the day. I think she has my number on her cell phone speed dial or something because she calls ALL THE TIME. Of course she is looking for Rick Beck and for some reason, even though I've been telling her for the past 5 months that I don't know this man nor do I know a way to get in touch with him, she thinks that I do. She's accused me of lying...she's accused me of hiding him from her...and today she leaves me a message, "Rachel...be responsible, call me (doesn't leave a name because she knows I'll know her voice) and give us the information we need." I can only guess that she is stupid. Seriously...if I knew the info I'd give it to just to not have to hear her voice again. So I call her and kindly tell her that I still do not know him, I still do not know how to get ahold of him, I'm not planning on meeting him, and I would appreciate it if she would stop calling...and she begins accusing me again...I ask her why we have to have the same conversation all the time...she HANGS UP ON ME!!!! Ok...apparently no one gave her the memo that there is only one person that is allowed to hang up on me...the OG, miss SS (which by the way if you're reading this you're doubly allowed to hang up on me since I haven't called in forever, but I still love you!!!!) So I called back...talked with like 4 of the managers there and let's just say, I think we have the problem taken car of...but man...she is annoying.

Third disappointment...I think my dog hates me. I haven't been home much since last thursday and I think she's starting to get mad. Today when I went into the bathroom she had pooped on the floor (not like the "I had to go real bad" poop but the "I'm mad at you" poop, and yes there is a difference) And she had broken my mirror that I had standing up in my closet...does this mean she'll have 7 years of bad luck, or does it transfer to me because I'm her owner???

Ok and last but not least, I'd like to give a shout out to Melissa, who is neither a nerd, nor a disappointment...I love you girlie...can't wait to see you soon!

Wow...this is a long post...I think I just realized why I like blogging so much. I had so much to say about my day today and I could just write it out here, and the computer can't tell me to be quiet...it can't shush me...it has to listen! I love it...captive audience! And now...I think I'm going to be especially nerdy and go to bed super early!

The Joys Of Small Town Living...

Yesterday I left the office a little early...everyone else had vacated the premises by 3pm so I decided it would be ok if I wasn't there as well. I had things to do. I thought I would pay a few bills, run to the post office, you know those things that get left behind when you're super busy. So as I'm leaving church and pulling into city hall to pay one of my bills a car pulls up right next to me, and it turns out to be the cleaning lady from church (apparently she knows the car I drive) and asks me if I would mind going up to let her into the church, so I do because I was really looking forward to someone emptying my waste basket for me. After that I go to the post office, which apparently closes at 4pm here in our little town. Since when do post offices close at 4pm...I thought it was 5...I have gifts to mail...and at this point i'd like to apologize to any friends in MN, OH, or NC who may not get their gifts in time because of the silly post office closing so early. yuck. But it was nothing that I was going to get too upset over, and after a very fruitless trip to the post office I decided to run by home and feed my darling dog. When I get there I have another nasty note from the people at the Water place...apparently each month I'm supposed to be reading my water meter when I send in my water bill. Here's the thing...I grew up in a city where people read your meters for you, so I have no idea what a water meter looks like, and on the bill it doesn't have your previous meter reading so I have no idea even what sort of numbers I'm looking for. Well it seems that your's truely has been reading the wrong meters for quite some time now...like since I moved here. But yesterday was my day. When I got home the lady that lives in the other side of my duplex was sitting out in our front rock garden and I asked her if she had any idea where the water meter was because I had yet another nasty note on my door telling me I had read the wrong meter. She points out into our neighbors rock garden (by rock garden I mean yard but we don't have yards we have rocks) and there is a little black sewer lid...heavy metal sewer lid, and apparently you have to pick up the lid and look about 2 feet down into the ground at a dial covered in dirt and THAT is the water meter. I felt pretty victorious and slightly like I had stepped back into my ancestors shoes with doing something as primitive as reading your own water meter. I guess you learn something new ever day! I guess I shouldn't complain about having to read my own meter because our water bills are really cheap...probably because they don't have to pay anyone to come around and read our junk for us. So I'll just be happy...and the water people will be happy that I've finally found the right meter!

Please Pray...

If you feel so inclined, I'd like to ask you to pray for some kids that I know here. I think their families are struggling with financial things...like big financial things...and I know it has to be hard for them, especially this time of the year. So if you could pray for them that would be great.

Also if you could pray for me as well that I would have wisdom and discernment regarding the best ways to help them and be a support to them and a Godly influence during this season of struggle. It's really hard for me because I want to be able to make all the trouble go away, but I don't know how to do that or what the best steps are to take that would be the most help to them.

Thanks in advance. I appreciate it!

What to say, What to say...

The last 3 days have been so jammed pack full of stuff. I don't even know what to write about and share here in my little blog world. So I'll just go with the thing that made me the happiest.

Yesterday I took some kids from my youth group shopping. We adopted two families from the Salvation Army to help this Christmas. I made gift lists for the kids that we were shopping for and yesterday split up my youth group and let them loose in Walmart to do the shopping themselves. This is the 4th year in a row that I have done this with a youth group and I am always so impressed with the kids. They really do a good job with their budgets and finding great stuff for the money I tell them they can spend.

There's something great about helping someone who needs it, but I think there's even something even more amazing happening when you equip the youth to do it, and watch it happen. I was really proud of my kids, and I won't lie...it gave me an all around good feeling.

I haven't asked anyone for anything this Christmas, I am having too much fun helping other people...so if you're out there, and you were thinking about giving me something for Christmas, I give you full permission, ask you even, to take me off your list and fill that spot with someone who wouldn't get anything this Christmas unless people outside of their immediate family and friends stepped up to help. Call the Salvation Army, or find an Angel tree. There are a lot of kids out there that will go without this Christmas...wouldn't it be neat if we all found a way to help and bring a smile to an unsuspecting child's face!

ARGH...

Can someone please invent some kind of homing device for my cell phone so that whenever I lose it I can just press a button and it will hop to my hand...

Confession....

I am a complete book nerd. In the past two days I have read one book cover to cover, finished The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrove, and started Northanger Abbey. There's something about the coziness of a warm house on a cold day that just makes me want to curl up in a blanket and read a good book.

I'm so excited that I finished The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. It's one of those books that I managed to escape reading when I was young, even though I remember most of my friends reading it. I knew I would want to see the movie, and I like to read books before I see the story in a movie. And I'm glad I finished this one...what a great book, even though the language is easy and the story is fast, I found myself smiling, and unable to put it down as I got to the second half of the book. A great story of good vs. evil.

I missed North Carolina for the first time today...correction, I missed some people form North Carolina today that I hadn't thought about since I left. It was kind of weird.

I realized today that Christmas is little more than two weeks away...and I have so much to do before then...and so much to prepare for at the beginning of the year at work. Hope it all gets done.

A Day in My Life...

8:12 am...the phone rings. I realize I meant to get up 20 minutes ago and hurry to the phone. I notice that the pastor is on the phone and cleverly try to hide my "I just got up" voice. Have sneeking suspicion I have failed.

8:13am...pastor tells me the office has been closed because of the snow.

8:14am...look out window. snow? there's maybe 1/4 of an inch on the ground.

8:15am...crawl back in bed....mmmm sleep.

10:26am...wake up and realize it is way later than I had thought

10:27am....get up

10:28am....make oatmeal

10:30am....take shower

10:35am....eat oatmeal

10:55am....decide that I am a much better driver than most people here and decide I can make it into the office and accomplish some stuff today even though the rest of the county is staying indoors.

11:00am...approach gingantic hill of a driveway at church and begin ascent.

11:01am....wheels spin on ice, try to go further

11:03am...realize will not go further on ice

11:04am...reverse down curvy hill to try to find some traction.

11:05am...try ascent again

11:06am...fail miserably

11:07am...try ascent again

11:08am...fail miserably

11:09am...sit in the middle of the hill hoping no one from church sees me sitting there

11:10am...make 15 point turn to go back down hill

11:15am...return to main road, and use alternate driveway up to church/belittle myself for not trying the other driveway first and for not listening to the pastor when he told me not to go in.

12:30pm...finish "must finish" work

12:35pm...head to walmart, the only place not shut down in town

1:35pm...return home and sit on my rear end reading a book all day

7:00pm...go to grocery store in matching sweat pants and sweat shirt

7:15pm...doritos and glass of wine for dinner (so classy!)

7:20pm...create blog entry that is sure the make everyone wish they had my life

7:24pm...signing off....ciao

Things that Make You go HMMM....

A couple things that may bring a smile to your face...here in the Ozarks sometimes people have a little different vocabulary, or at least a different way of spelling it...

Like the flower shop will sell you a Rose Bokay,

Or the Taco Bell that will sell you the Stuft burrito.

Yes places of business actually let people spell these things quite incorrectly on their billboards. Definitely something that cases me to stop and think

The Love of My Life...

What can I say, I'm in love. ok...Dad, don't get too excited. No, I haven't met anyone, but I am most definitely, very pathetically in love with a literary character. I went to see Pride and Prejudice last night. I have been in love with Mr. Darcy since my first reading of that novel my jr. year of high school. There's something about that book that captures my attention unlike any piece of literature I have ever picked up...I escape into the story and find myself coming back to it time and time again.

I will say that this movie did a fair job of sharing this timeless story. The actors did a nice job. There were several actors that I liked better in this movie than in the BBC production. The guy who played Collins was so much easier to watch than his predecessor! But who can compare to Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy.

Ultimately I just didn't feel like it captured all the wonderfullness of the novel, but let's face it...what movie can accurately portray my imagination, and the characters that I have made up while reading. And it's hard to cram an entire book into 2 hours...and I did enjoy this film, but when it was over and the row of high school girls sitting behind me say, "That was WAY better than the book!" I had an intense desire to sit them down and point out to them the superiority of the original writing! Ah well...read the book...sit down and read Pride and Prejudice. If you can make it through the beginning you will be rewarded with a great story!

On a slightly different note, I got shushed at a restaurant again last night...seriously...I have been shushed like 5 times in public since I have been here! I knew I was loud, but shushing, don't people know how rude that is!

An Amusing Picture...

Ok...close your eyes, no wait, don't close your eyes...If you close your eyes you can't read this. So use your imagination and picture me sitting at a piano in a room with blue walls. There are 8 children and a few adults looking at me as I'm explaining to them the idea of this years christmas program. I also was going to be the one to teach them the two new songs we were learning. So as I sit at the piano and plunk out the notes, I lead them in singing. And I sing loud becuase my thought is that if they can't hear themselves, they'll sing louder and not feel like they are the only one singing, and while I'm neither a very good singer nor a talented piano player, my evil plan worked. They sang. They began to learn the new songs. And then I made them a deal that took me back to my years of grade school. I told them that if there was anyone in the room that could sing louder than me, they would get a prize. As the words left my mouth I had a flashback of Mrs. King telling us the same thing and a young Rachel thinking that that woman was indeed very loud. But you know what...it worked too...the kids sang loud enough for me to hear them, and they even got a prize out of it.

Needless to say, after last Sunday I know why I never became a children's music director...it would not have worked out for me. So if there are any people reading this who have ever tried to teach music to a group of children, I'd like to give you your due credit. I know you were probably underappreciated, so I thank you for doing what you do, so that I don't have to!

How Do You Measure, Measure a Year

Last night I went and saw RENT, the movie. After many years of hoping to see the musical and loving the music, I was given a fabulous opportunity to see this show live in St. Paul Minnesota when I was in college (thanks laura for letting me go without you!) And I sat mesmerized by the music, the story, and the imagery. I can still remember how it felt to watch that show...I remember what I was wearing, and the random lady sitting next to me who sold me her extra seat for super cheap. It was unlike any theater I experience I had ever had. So different from typical musical theater. The story captivated me. It made me laugh, sigh, cry (not the soft tender find but the kind where you wanted to sob but there were too many people around.) and ultimately it made me smile.

I've wanted to see it again...but I kept missing it in different cities or couldn't get tickest. And then I heard they were doing it as a movie. I was sure it would be horrible. And to be really honest, I wasn't that thrilled to go see it...but when I heard some of the original Broadway cast were going to be in the show, I thought I would give it a whirl. Since it has been released I have been aching to get into the theater and see it, and last night was my moment.

I was not disappointed! It was great...not as good as the stage version...but great. I loved it. I could feel the same emotions pouring over and through me that had when I first saw it on stage. For me there is something magical about the story, and the way that it is put to music. Granted, it's not the traditional love story, in fact it is far from it. It definitely touches on some issues that are a little touchy for some people, but are very real for others. I can't say that the issues that the story deals with are a part of my sheltered world, but I know they are real. And in the end it is one of the most powerful stories of love and forgiveness that I have ever seen. Ah...if you can handle the social/moral/ethical and sometimes controversial issues please go see this film, and I hope you leave the theater feeling like I did; my heart light because there is the potential for a deep love that dwells within each of us.

Go ahead laugh at me...I do!

So last night I was overcommitter with is usual in my life. I had to finish writing our SS christmas program, cook dinner, practice my flute, go to choir practice, pick up my front room, and have a meeting with my friend (to discuss the SS christmas program and eat the dinner I had prepared) Two funny things happened because I was a little scatterbrained...

1.) I overflowed my kitchen sink. I put the plug in it with some stuff, and then started the water. For some reason I thought it would be ok for me to walk away because I was sure I would remember to come back and shut off the water...Yeah...I forgot...water everywhere...EVERYWHERE. silly Rachel

2.) When I returned home from Choir practice I tossed the bread that I had in the oven for it to warm up and walked away...thinking that it would be ok...I smelled smoke so I went into the kitchen and saw flames coming from the oven...no, seriously there were huge FLAMES coming from my oven....apparently something had fallen to the bottom of it and started on fire. ha. I haven't set anything on fire in quite some time. good thing I caught it.

I guess the elements were just against me last night. ah well.

What...December Already???

I can't believe we are already in the last month of 2005. Holy cow...

So I was thinking last night, that I have totally arrived in the small town life of this community. I could really tell yesterday becasue when I went to the pharmacy, I saw not one, not two, not three, but four people I knew there. Then I left and drove past two more people I knew on the road who honked and waved. Then later in the afternoon I went to the grocery store and there were two people who worked there who smiled at me and said it was nice to see me feeling better. Then I went to the chinese restaurant to pick up my lunch (a place I have not been in two months) and when I walked in the door, they greeted me with my name and said it was good to see me. Then, perhaps the saddes occurence of the day...I walked into the Dollar General (it's the only store in our town) and the lady told me about their preferred shopper day coming up...I am now a preferred shopper at the dollar general. So I'd like to thank them for selling me cheap toilet paper and for giving me the opportunity to get yet another 25% off because I am loyal to their business.

There is something charming to the small town way of life though, I will admit.

Long Time...

So it's been a few days since I last wrote. I could name many excuses...I've been busy...I didn't have anything I really wanted to write about...my computer powercord was locked in my friends car in Nashville and I had to wait for the Fedex man to deliver it. Anyway I've been absent and if anyone has been distraught or upset over my lack of writing, I apologize.

My office has been closed the past couple days and I have taken the opportunity to get a little work done, and work on some stuff around the house. I bought a christmas tree...sure it's a fake one, but it's a christmas tree nonetheless. I also moved my furniture around a bit, which meant carrying a very large sitting chair downstairs all by myself. I am giving my living room a much more "conversational" feel.

Hmm...let's see...anything interesting...hmm...STL was fun. I enjoyed seeing the family, actually being on the winning team for Trivial Pursuit, and taking one very long bath.

I returned to SO.MO on Saturday for a wedding. That too was fun. I enjoyed the reception with some guys that would be a part of the GLBTSO club at Wash U if they were there (dad...I added that just for you to see if you are reading this!) They were fun to hang out with! Then on Sunday we built our float for the Christmas Parade. Also very fun.

Monday I had the chance to hang out with a youth that sometimes comes to my church. It really made me look more closely at my life. God has totally blessed me with sooo much. Anyway I've been all contemplative about stuff lately because of it. Sometimes I just want to take people and make their lives better, but I know that I can only do so much and that can be frustrating for me. I just have all this compassion that wells up and I want to wrap this kid up and take away all the pain that has been caused in their life and fill it up with good things. Maybe God has put me in her life to be a small part of his goodness to her. I just pray that she can learn to trust me.

Well...that's about all for now. I know this has been kind of scattered, but I guess that's how my brain has been lately. I hope all are well!

I'm back, but leaving...

Well I finally got back to good old MO yesterday afternoon. Man...the conference was crazy fun, but today I am exhausted and I am leaving again tonight...making the pilgrimage back to the mother land for thanksgiving. I am so excited to spend some time with Jake and Gretal and my parents, grandparents, and Aunt and Uncle...oh and the Heidster! YAY...my little German sister is coming home too. This should be fun.

The excitement about the upcoming days is really the only thing that will probably pull me through today. sheesh...there's so much to be done, so little time to do it, and so little energy to make it happen.

But I did make an apple pie for my staff today (yes it's home made, I cut up all the apples and everything!) I'm looking forward to eating that bad boy!

Jump

You know the feeling when your head is so full of information, and you know it’s a good thing, it’s just kind of hard to process through it all. That’s totally the place that I’m at right now. I just finished a great conference. I went into it with little or no expectations, except for the fact that I would get to hang out with some people who are encouraging to me in ministry and possibly learn a thing or two about youth ministry.

I heard some great speakers, and had some great conversations. I was given the opportunity to worship without distraction. I met new people and learned from their experiences in ministry. It was good.

I could write for forever about all the little tidbits of information that I picked up in the last 5 days. But to save some time, and to keep you from getting bored, I’ll just share what it is that I really feel like God was speaking to my heart during this time…a summation of it anyway.

I know I talked a couple days ago about slowing down and hearing God’s voice, and that’s a huge part of it, but what’s hitting home a little more for me right now is the idea of what it means to be called God’s Beloved, to be His child, and to live in that calling.

I talk all the time about my call to ministry, whether it’s in the area of outreach, youth, assimilation, encouragement…whatever the area is, I know that I have been called to ministry and I think I came to my conference this week looking for a prescription. I wanted someone to tell me how to map out Youth Group Activities. I wanted someone to tell me how to deal with people who are always negative towards me and the ministry God has given me. I wanted someone to tell me what to do when I was lonely. I wanted someone to tell me how to reach students who are growing up in a different world from me. I wanted someone to tell me how to handle being a woman in a leadership position in a church that is dominated by men in those places of leadership. I wanted someone to tell me how to not be afraid. I wanted someone to tell me how to be good at what I do.

There were opportunities for things like that, but the message just kept coming back to me…it’s not about all those little things. It’s about loving God and being who He created me to be. And that’s a good place to be. Being who God created us to be means that it’s not really about what we do, it’s about being open and willing for God to work through your life.

Will I stop worrying as a result of this conference…probably not. But I do hope to take with me a little bit of that encouragement from God and my brothers and sisters walking along side of me in this ministry. If you are reading this and you know what it’s like to be working in a church (full time, part time, or volunteer) let me send you a little bit of encouragement as well. God has already given us what we need to be serving him. No, we can’t do it on our own. It’s probably a good thing that we can’t do it on our own, because then we would start thinking that we don’t need God, and maybe you’ve learned like I have, that when you try to go it alone, more often than not you fall flat on your face.

The theme of our conference was Jump…so I guess what I’m going to try to do is jump into life and the things that God has in store for me, and I will trust that he’s going to catch me, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll have a pretty incredible ride along the way.

Oh and I just want to add that tonight had the non-traditional thanksgiving with the Jacob's Road Family...not only are these people a great band, but they are really fun to hang out with! What a great weekend!!!

Slow Down...Hear His Voice

Well I am officially on day three of my conference. I could tell you so many things...I still love Jars of Clay and when they play they totally rock my face off, David Crowder is quickly becomming my favorite worship leader, hanging out with Dani and Lindsey is so great, my godson Noah is ADORABLE, Daryl Howard still rocks my face off, seeing Mark and Carrie and meeting their daughter is so fun, camp people still make me smile...and the list could go on and on. I think the most important thing though that's been going through my mind, and hitting home with me is, Slow Down...Here His Voice. It seems like all the sessions I go to and all the conversations I'm having are centering around that theme.

I tend to be the person that goes peddle to the metal and hits the ground running. I don't like to sit around. I like to be busy, and sometimes that can get a little unhealthy. I lose focus. Last night Doug Fields was speaking and was likened it to a train wreck that didn't need to happen, but did because the train was going to fast. Going the regular speed the train accomplishes its purpose and helps people, but a train that is going to fast derails and can cause injury or even death. I was thinking about that...slowing down. God is not glorified in my business. God doesn't ask for our business, he asks for our faithfulness, and so often my business causes me to not be tuned into God's voice

Anyway that's just one of my thoughts...I wish I had time to write more right now but my godson is laying next to me and being really stinking cute...so I'm gonna go play with him! I'm sure I'll share more later!

Three Things...

#1. I paid someone to do my laundry today...it was beautiful.

#2. When I was home this afternoon I walked into my kitchen and the neighbor kid was peeking in my window...weird part was that he didn't move when he saw me. very odd.

#3. Why do we refuse to learn lessons the first time...my history teacher in high school always said, "Learn Your Lessons of History." And do I??? No...why must I always procrastinate. I know when things are coming, I know that I have to get them done, and do I prioritize and get it all done in a timely fashion...No. I always end up getting ready to go on some trip and having a list of tons of stuff to get done, but I never quite get it finished until the last second, and then I always end up packing my suitcase in a hurry, and then I am always "almost late" for my plane and then I get all anxious and wonder what will happen if I miss my plane. But then I make it at the last second and it's all ok and all the worrying was for nothing. Some day I will get my stuff in order!

Look our Nashville here I come!!!

Talent, Talent Everywhere...

Have you ever been in a group of people and just been in awe at how talented they are. Well in case any of you were wondering, Karaoke is WAY different in Branson than anywhere I have ever seen it before. I'll admit I do find some sick twisted joy in watching people who shouldn't be singing get up in front of a microphone and butcher songs, and I have been persuaded to watch many a karaoke showcase in my time. I have also been nudged from time to time to get up and partake in the festivities as well, but last night was different!

Our choir director at church is getting married and she invited me to a little shower/bachelorette party last night. I really wasn't all that in to going since I've been a little on the sick side lately, but I went anyway and I knew a lot of her friends were going to be there, and I was looking forward to meeting some more fun people in the area...so I went.

Well after the dinner and present opening the restaurant we were at had karaoke. So of course we went over to check out the happenings. I guess now is when I should mention that most of these people are entertainers. That's their job. Oh man...instead of sitting back and making fun of people, I spent most of my time with my mouth hanging open in awe. I couldn't have made my voice do those things if I tried. Seriously beautiful stuff. Yep, I just said that about Karaoke. There are some talented people up in these hills...that's for sure.

Back In The Saddle

Well here I am folks, broadcasting live from my office. I've finally made it into work today. Mostly because I have a conference call and gobs of work to get done in the next 48 hours. I'm feeling a bit better...still way tired and my ear is still WAY clogged but anyway. It's gotta get better soon..right???

It's funny (not in a ha ha way) how busy Christmas season is, and none of it is stuff that can be done last minute. My biggest cause of anxiety right now is the Sunday School Christmas program. A Tradition in our church...but the reality is that I have 11 kids to work with, most of whom are shy and would rather run over hot coals than get up and speak in front of people. It's definitely a lesson for me, because I don't even need a reason to get up in front of people and "perform" I'm pretty much a walking freak show...but I need to remember that all people are not as overly zealous for the stage as I am and I'm trying to find a way to present the message of Christmas in a relevant way to the congregation all while engaging the kids that we are using to tell the story...eesh...I'm bound to learn something on this journey.

We came up with a great idea last night. I just hope we can make it happen. It seems a bit out of my reach, but that's why God puts people in our lives that are good at different things...to help.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Most of you that know me, and if you're reading this chances are you know me pretty well, know that I hate just sitting around doing nothing. I'm working on my third day of nothing. I can't stand it. I hate it...There are so many things that I know I should be doing, and honestly want to be doing...but my body just won't let me. I don't feel good. All the medicine and illness is slowing me down. I'm not feeling better and having to lay around and not do anything is starting to frusrate me. I have a conference call tomorrow to help plan the Outreach Leadership Institute for this summer, and I wanted to be on top of my game, have great ideas, show everyone that I've come into my own as a DCO...I leave for a conference on Thursday, am I prepared for that...no.

I guess the good thing about being sick is that it forces you to slow down...let people worry about you for a change. I get to see that people can handle things without me...it's a good reality check.

so anyway...say a prayer that my antibiotics will start working and the pressure in my ear will go down before I get on a plane thursday morning. I'm really looking forward to this conference and spending time with Dani and Linds, and getting to see my adorable little godson and hanging with the Robeys...I really want to be better by then.

Your eardrum may rupture...

Dr: "Your eardrum may rupture."

Me: "Are you serious?"

Dr: "Yeah there's a ton of pressure in there and it's really bulging."

Me: "Ah...yeah..um...that sounds painful."

Dr: "Of it is, but the pain will go away immediatly then."

silence....

Me: "So if my eardrum ruptures..."

Dr: "Oh you'll know, it'll ooze a bunch of blood and stuff."

silence....

Me: "So if my eardrum ruptures, what should I do?"

Dr: "They usually heal on their own, but if it doesn't you'll have to go to a ear nose and throat doctor and they'll do surgery."

Me: "Oh."

That's pretty much how the conversation went between me and the dr. this morning. A few posts ago I mentioned that I was feeling better...I may have been a little premature on that. Last night my ear decided to start feeling all clogged up, but being me, I self diagnosed myself and decided if I just slept on the other side of my head the fluid would drain back to a normal spot. No such luck. I was up most of the night in tears with ear pain...seriously considered going to the ER, but I didn't want to spend a fortune so I just toughed it out. This morning though I felt like my whole head was going to explode. By the grace of God there was a Dr.'s office open and I walked in...head stuffy, ear hurting, eyes goopy, and I looked at the lady behind the desk and started to cry. Yep, my big girl 25 year old self cried to the receptionist at the Dr.'s office and told her that I needed to see a dr. because most of the parts of my body above my neck were not working correctly and I was supposed to be taking JR. Highers horseback riding and singing in a concert later that night. As I was blubbering like a fool to her, she was so kind, handed me a box of kleenex and told me not to worry. Then the doctor saw me...told me I had a horrible ear infection (in the previously stated conversation) and gave me three prescriptions.

Needless to say the horseback riding didn't happen, and there was no way I would be able to sing in a concert. Today did not go exactly as planned. Thank God for Steve, Kim, Aubrey, Dayna and Lauren who equipped me with a heating pad, good movies and every other medication that might help besides what the doctor gave me! They were definitely an answer to prayer today.

I'm currently on about 6 medications. My head hurts, my ear is killing me and the right side of my head feels like it's going to explode. Tomorrow is Sunday, and a busy one for me. There are about 500 things that I should have done right now that I haven't even begun. I don't know if I'll even make it to church...Tomorrow I'm supposed to read, sing, pass out bags for our food drive, hand out bottles for something for the lutheran children and family services, teach high school bible study, give lesson plans to my SS teachers for next week, make sure the teachers for Sunday School tomorrow are set up...give materials to the lady who runs the pre-k sunday school and find batteries for someone who left them in my office. oh and have the new church info brochure ready for proofreading. oye.

But instead of doing all that. I'm going to bed. The world will keep on spinning it those things don't get done. I hope.

Crash

Tonight I saw the movie. I've been wanting to see it since I was driving from North Carolina to MO listening to reviews of it on talk radio. And it didn't let me down. I thought this was a great film (if you can tolerate the f-bombs) As I was watching the movie with my friend we were talking about how strange it is that some people's lives really are like the lives in the movie.

Wow...it's so easy for us to live our lives and not even see the hurt in other parts of our towns, state and country, let alone the world.

It reminds me of a conversation I once had with Seth, when I was living in the ghetto house in Minnesota, probably shortly after my sweet action bike was stolen...I was saying how I would probably never get out of the ghetto...and he said that he was sure I would, and look at me now. The people in springfield call my town "Heaven's Waiting Room" because there are so many old people...I think they're overdoing it a bit, but still, I am safe, I don't ever feel like I have to worry about weird stuff happening. Sure, it could...but the odds are more in favor of me catching a stray bullet from a deer hunting excursion than a drug deal gone bad...

Anyway I guess I'm just saying it's good to be aware...aware of the world around us and Crash reminded me of a world outside of my safe little bubble that I sometimes live in. Enough about that...

I got to hang out with my godson Lucas tonight...and his parents : ) He's getting sooo big. I sang him the Rachel song tonight. I think he liked it!

The End of An Era...

If you're a St. Louis Cardinals fan (and seriously people, if you're not...you should be!) my mom send me this link to the commissioned photographer for the deomlition of Busch Stadium...check it out...

http://jgardnerphotography.com/index.html

The UPS Man...

The funny thing about the UPS man that delivers to our church (maybe I've blogged about him before) is that he talks ALOT...way more than me! It's like a scene from a movie when he comes in...both of us try to hide becasue if you dno't you'll be trapped in an unwanted conversation forever. So whenever he comes into the office the secretary and I try to keep him from talking to both of us...today I was on "listener" duty. Here is the information I gleaned from the one sided conversation today. He likes delivering packages, almost as much as I like getting them, and He's a storm chaser and very much looking forward to the storms that might be coming our way. hmm interesting... apparently he was also a tennis star in his former life.

Voters meeting went well last night. I didn't get to make my report until about the 3rd hour...so when I stood up I said, "I know right now you just want to go home, but if you can't get into what I'm saying, will you at least pretend like you're listening to me." or something of that sort. I think they did...listen that is.

And Currently I am sitting at the Panera freeloading on their hi speed internet...it's great. People watching is always fun. I'm too nosy.

WAAAHHHOOOOO!!!!!!

I am feeling so much better today. Not like 100% better but so much better. I actually slept last night. I couldn't say the same thing for the couple days before, I was walking around like a zombie with permanent medicine head. I couldn't get away from it. But today is better, granted my nose is as red as Rudolph's right now, but hopefully that will return to normal as well.

I love Thursdays. Since, in theory, Friday is my day off Thursday always holds the feal that Friday used to hold. So tonight I feel like I could stay up all night and read a book if I wanted too (although given the all nighters I've already pulled this week I doubt I will do it just for the fun of it.) I know that tomorrow I can sleep in the morning and enjoy the wonderfulness of waking up without an alarm clock. ahhh.

Today was a great day at work. So many cool things happened. Isn't it fun when cool things happen. I had a great meeting with the man down at the Christian Associates building...it's the local food pantry/thrift shop/advocate for poor peope/everything else someone needs them to me...and it was great! We talked about the possibilities for our church linking up with them...follow up type stuff.

When I got back to the office I went into the pastor's office and said, "I am just totally jazzed about my job this week." And he looked up from his desk and gave me a rather peculiar look (this isn't unusual...he usually gives me a peculiar look, which makes me wonder if he doesn't understand what I'm saying or if he just thinks I'm crazy...the latter is probably more like it.) Anyway he then asked me if being jazzed was a good thing...and then I realized I had just used a phrase that I had never used before. hmm...wonder where that came from.

Anyway I'm getting ready for a potluck and then a voter's meeting. Voter's meetings here are actually tolerable. Sometimes they're even fun, although tonight is the budget one, so we'll see what happens! If people are gonna fight, it's usually over money (and carpet here)

ha...as I'm writing I was thinking of a song that came to my mind the other night when I was out with aubrey and her fam...my post has brought it back to mind because of my overuse of punctuation (that usually is in the wrong spot! what can I say I'm a grammatical nightmare) Anyway the song goes like this...

I love you period
Do you love me question mark
Please, please exclamation point
I want to hold you in parenthesis

I wonder if I could find that on itunes...

Do You Ever Get Overwhelmed???

I do. I find it happening at the weirdest moments. Yesterday, even being sick and all, I had this feeling that I could do it all, that I could conquer the world, and even though some of the things in my path scared me, I knew I could face it and it would all be ok.

But then there's today. Wham. For some reason today I feel like there is so much, too much, to be done. There are so many ideas firing around in my brain but I don't know which ones to choose and what to do, or what direction to head in.

Maybe that's how it is when your job is kind of a grass roots efforts. We're starting from the very beginning with little bitty seeds...who knows what grass will sprout and who is actually going to be on my team to help me cultivate this thing we're trying to grow. One day I think I know who my players are going to be and the next day I think I might need to revise my list. Sometimes it's just overwhelming. I've always felt like God has big things in store for me. I remember talking to my friends in college and knowing that God was going to do big things through us. We were, ARE, passionate people and open to God's direction...but I've always had a little bit more issue knowing what that direction was. So that's where I'm at now. I'm just sitting at my desk, with post it notes all around, to do lists covering my space, and thinking, "I'm Overwhelmed!" Not in a, "I wanna pull my hair out and poke people with sharp things," way. But rather in a way that I just know that there is a huge potential for big things surrounding me. Maybe it's not one big thing...maybe it's a bunch of little things that pull together into one big thing, I don't know.

I do know that as I was sitting here trying to figure out what to do next I saw a book that Linds gave me for my birthday. It's called, Living Out Loud. It's all about living a creative life. It tells you to play. To be free and be who you are. This quote is at the beginning of the first chapter.

"The aim of life is to live, and to live meants to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware." - Henry Miller

So today I will open my eyes to the blessings around me. I will be in the now. I will not worry about tomorrow. I will trust that God is working out my stuff for good!

Today...

Well today was definitely a weird day. I am sick. I know I have a cold or Flu or something. I spent the first part of the day trying to work through my Nyquil hangover...then the Dayquil kicked in. I'm on a vicious cycle...tonight I'll have to take nyquil to sleep. ick. Anyway I woke up feeling pretty lousy. I hate being sick. Seriously, I am the biggest baby when I'm sick, just ask my mom! But today I could just lay around on the sofa, for some reason I felt like I needed to get out of bed and come to work. So I showered (remembering all the times from my youth when mom would tell me I would feel better after I showered). Then I contemplated sucking salt water up through my nose. I know this sounds disgusting but my grandmother would swear by it, and this morning I almost did it (it's so nasty though) and strangely enough the thought made me miss my grandmother so much. I miss someone telling me to snort salt water up my nose.

Anyway I'm glad I came into work because I had a phone call and great conversation with my pastor about a possible mission plant. This stuff just gets me totally jazzed and was enough to pull me through the nyquil hangover. I really feel like some stuff might pull together, and that makes me excited but it also scares me because if this mission start is going to start, I am going to play a huge roll in it, and this is big stuff...and that makes me nervous...although my friend was saying just the other day that sometimes we get the big stuff so we see that we can't do it on our own, and I don't want to do it on my own, I want to do it with God's guidance and direction, so if you think about it...pray for me and this mission possibility!

Then I had dinner at the catholic church with some people from my church, that was all good. It kinda reminds me of what a small town I live in, I was running into people right and left! Now I am just wasting a little time before I go to choir practice. I don't feel much like singing. My throat hurts, and my head is all congested. And right now there is just one place I want to be...and it's kinda weird...but it's John and Kim's bed...yeah I told you it was weird, but earlier this year I got totally sick with the flu and it was just bad. I was up all night sick and the next day I was supposed to go to John and Kim's house to watch their boys. John came to pick me up and took one look at me and said, "you don't look so good." When I got to their house kim had made up the bed in their room with the softest sheets. and she had gingerail and sour candies and the remote control. I think I slept all day and the boys kept coming in to check on me. It was so nice. I really felt like I was home, at a time that I felt so far away from home, and those boys took such good care of me. I miss them. I've been missing old friends today...not that they're old friends, just that I haven't seen them in a while. (yes melissa...that includes you!)

well it's time for choir practice so I better get going!

What's Up With The Gallbladder Surgery???

My friends all seem to be having their gallbladders taken out...it's like an epidemic or something. I feel like I should go get mine checked out as well. Anyway this blog is a shout out to my homegirl Carrie who is recovering from her emergency gallbladder surgery! Hope you feel better soon...maybe looking at this Halloween Hottie picture of yourself will help! I love you girl!!!! Can't wait to hang with you again! Lindsey maybe you could post the Gallbladder song in the comments section and help a fellow gallbladderless friend out!!!

Thank You Jesus for Nyquil...

That's really all I wanted to say. That and, I hate not feeling well. I'm going to bed.

Return of the Snaggletooth

I'm not trying to be mean but...

So you may remember a post from about a month ago when a friend of mine and I had gone to the Ruby Tuesday for a late dinner, and our waiter was a little bit more than friendly. I may have referred to him as snaggletooth because he has a chip on one of his teeth that seems to captivate my attention when he speaks. (It's a big chip)

Anyway well yesterday I was haning out with the aforementioned friend and her parents...We had just finished a 4 mile walk on a beautiful trail and enjoyed the nice fall weather. The parentals decided they wanted Ruby Tuesdays for dinner...so of course we went along too. What are the odds of being in a restaurant on a two different days, at two completely different times, sitting in two completely different sections and having the same unwanted attention from the same annoying, overly attentive waiter...of course when I say overly attentive I don't mean that he filled up our water glasses too many times...no no no...(please remember at this point that this is the man who's best line was, "Where did you move here from? Did your boyfriend come with you?" sheesh) So he comes to the table (despite our trying to ignore the fact that we did indeed recognize him) and he says,

"You ladies look familiar to me." to which we responded with blank stares...then he says,

"Why do you look familiar?" (this is riveting stuff ladies and gentelmen) and I say,

"Well, we eat here sometimes." His response to this is,

"Yes I've waited on you before, you were celebrating four days until your birthday." and I gave a very unenthusiastic,

"Yeah that's right, maybe it was five days to my birthday though." And his answer this time was,

"No it was four days to your birhtday because your birhtday was on a Monday, I remember."

ummm...yeah this man waited on me once, now twice, and could have told you what day of the week my birthday was on...I couldn't even have told you without really thinking about it what day my birthday was on...and I love my birthday...yeah...he was loving the Rachel...who knows, maybe snaggletooth from Ruby Tuesday is the love of my life....or not...my father would have been proud of the Dad on Duty though, he did his part to embarass the waiter with the comment, "yeah he doesn't remember us though" (insert sarcastic eye roll here) after his wife said, "We eat here alot too."

Ah well...what woman doesn't have to put up with a weirdo waiter from time to time. But the events of last evening remind me of how in 8th grade we got to do a Last Will and Testament of what we were leaving to the people in 7th grade...and I think this is a great tradition that we should get at various times in our life...like right now...I Rachel, do hereby leave Aubrey my beloved Snaggletooth. It's official...he's no longer mine...I have given him away.

Why I may be different from most of the World's population...

So today I'm walking through Walmart, because it's the only place I really have to shop, and I run into a lady that I had had a conversation with at our community outreach event last week. I had sent a follow up letter to their family and invited her and her children to Sunday School. She told me that she was going to bring her family to church tomorrow and she was asking me about worship times and sunday school times. And then she looked at me and asked, "What do people wear, because I don't have any dresses." And I told her there was no need to wear a dress at all, in fact most sundays I come to church in pants. Then she asked me what kind of pants. If you know me at all, you will know that I love any opportunity to discuss wardrobing for any and every situation, so to ease her fears of coming underdressed, I asked her if she remembered the pants I had been wearing last Sunday (you know because I had worn them to church and thought they would be a good guide as to pretty middle of the road dress for our congregation) and to my surprise she didn't remember what I was wearing. Hmmm...I could tell you exactly what she was wearing, although I didn't say this to her because I thought she would think I was weird. I remember most things in life by what I, and/or, the people around me are wearing at the time. Is that weird? I kinda do a mental note of people's outfits, ya know...like in the magazines "Susan is wearing a blue top from Gap and faded lowrise flare leg jeans from Tommy Hilfiger, and her shoes don't match" That's me...paying attention to the clothes...not that I judge people...just that I notice.

It's Carpet People!!!

This has got to be a record or something, 2 posts in 30 minutes, but I had to vent and if you can't vent on a blog...where can you vent???

The church I work at got new carpet a couple months ago...these peopel are OBSESSED with this carpet...I mean I'm surpised some of the old ladies don't follow me around all day to make sure that I don't drop anything on it...

The other night after our huge halloween community event these people were mad that there was dirt on the carpet. Hello we just had 400 people from the community come through our doors...of course there's dirt, and that's a good thing...it means there have been people here!!! We want people here...

And now the president of my EVANGELISM committe came in and asked if we could not have kool-aid for kids anymore because it might stain the carpet...

sheesh.

So I said to her...well what if an old person with a shaky arm gets some coffee and spills it on the ground...are we going to take away coffee???

It's carpet...it gets dirty you clean it...I'm gong to go spill something purple on the ground and pretend like I didn't know who did it...that'll show them.