When your computer doesn't work....

Is it weird that I sometimes don't know what to do when my computer doesn't work...it's like the click of the keys is a type of therapy for me. Unfortunately my laptop battery is dead, and the power cord decided to stop working so therefore I have no computer...sad, I know.
Things have been pretty busy anyway and I probably wouldn't have much time to be on it, so I guess it's not that huge of a deal.

Life is a little crazy right now...busy, but I guess it's a good busy. I hate being bored more than I hate being busy. So I just wanted to send a shout out to my blogging world so y'all didn't think I'd dropped off the face of the earth. I'm still here...

And hopefully next week my computer will be working and I'll have fun stories to share...we shall see.


p.s...I know that this wasn't in the least bit interesting, so I promise I'll be better next time.

This Morning...

This morning I went to the port/marina/park to run/walk/jog with my dog. It's a pretty beautiful thing...the calm morning, cars aren't really out yet, people aren't either. It's just me, my dog, the sun, water and my ipod (oh yeah and the geese, but I choose to ignore them).

A thought hit me while I was doing my thing...I have never been more aware of my sinfulness than I have since the beginning of this year. It's not that I've become a "worse" person...or that I've turned away from God...I still believe and claim his forgiveness on my life, it's just that I, a person who has never had a problem living in grace before, am having a harder time forgetting the wrong I've done, the places I've fallen short, and my inadequacies. And I'm not sure why. I just know that every once and a while I am hit with a feeling that I am SOOO not good enough (which I've always known, but my confidence in Christ has never been an issue...and it's not that I'm not condident in what my Jesus can and does do). I am just very convicted. Maybe because it's spring...and that means spring cleaning...maybe I need to Spring Clean my life.

I'm not even sure why I'm writing this here...I'm not looking for answers really. I just wanted to say that I think I understand some of the Psalms of David now where he is going through some rough stuff...and even though my life is pretty good, and it looks pretty good from the outside, on the inside, I'm still a big fat sinner. I get it.

Big News...

Tonight, for the first time in my life, I successfully grilled my dinner on the Weber grill! It only took my half a bottle of lighter fluid to get the flame going...but that's not the point. The point is that the chicken was cooked, and the squash that I made was A-MaZiNg!

And We Are Changed...

Haiti is amazing. On Sunday night I finally returned to MO (after a minor setback at the Houston airport that lasted nearly 24 hours, and holds enough events for at least three blogs, nevertheless, it is not the most important thing that happened in the last week and a half, so if you want to hear about it, you'll have to send me an email or give me a call.) This year preparing for Haiti was difficult, harder than last year, partly because of my busyness...partly because it was just me going from my congregation, and partly because it came so quickly after the first of the year. I wasn't able to dwell on what I was going to be doing, or even prepare as wisely as I had the previous year.

But the time came and I went.

All I can say is that I was immeasurably blessed by the time I spent with my brothers and sisters in Haiti. I still do not know why God has given me a heart for His people there, but he has, it's almost inexplicable.

This year I spent 8 days in Haiti. It wasn't nearly long enough. The 8 days were filled with so much. I played with kids...tried to speak their language...helped at orphanages...held babies at hospitals...jumped rope with kids that might go to meet Jesus very soon...spent time with friends that mean more to me than just about anything...felt Baby Tietjen kick...laughed...prayed...cried...sang...and even managed to move a little block and fill some holes with mortar.

I'll be honest and say that I haven't quite processed everything yet. There are so many people that I am with there, that inspire me...and almost in a way make me feel shameful of the way I take my life, time, and gifts for granted. Not a shame that makes me hang my head, but a shame that motivates me to be more than what is expected of me as a Christian in American Culture...instead it reminds me that God has called us to a higher calling...he has blessed us to be a blessing, and so often in my day to day life I forget that, but when I am Haiti I cannot forget.

I know that my life here in America will catch up with me again and some of the same patterns of my life will fall into place again, and ever so slowly, the tendency will be for me to forget how I am changed...the rush of routine will be the thing that leads and drives my life. I don't want to be that person though, and I will make an effort to be the kind of person who earnestly seeks God and His guidance in my life.

Soon I will post some pictures from the trip...and tell some specific stories...which hopefully you'll want to hear!

Blessed...

I am blessed. My family is amazing. I thank God for you all...you are a gift to me, a gift that gets better every time I get to open you up!

And another blessing...God chooses to use me. I'm not sure why...but he does, and I am blessed.