FYI...

I'm not sad anymore...now I'm just sick. ugh.

Right now...

I am sad. That is all.

I gave it away...

Tonight I had a meeting/Bible study with some people in my area that I do community youth outreach with. For the second week in a row there is one girl who hasn't had a Bible with her. I happened to have an extra pocket Bible out in my car so I went out and grabbed it for her to use. At the end of the night, I asked her if she needed a Bible because she could have mine if she wanted it.

She opened the front of the Bible and I realized it was one that I had had for quite some time. In the front of it was my name written in little Rachel's handwriting, and "Grace Chapel Sunday School" was written in the "Presented By" section.

I'd forgotten that at one time I had gotten that Bible for perfect attendance at Sunday School. I was proud of it. I had tried hard to be at Sunday School every week and that Bible had been my reward. Tonight I gave it away. I won't lie. It does make me a little sad that I won't be able to look at my scribbled name, but I can't think of anything I could have done with that book that would have been better. I hope that book is as much a reward to her as it was to me so many years ago.

Last night I realized...

the fullness of the town I live in. If you know me, it's no secret that I prefer the city. I like the speed, the buildings, the people, and sometimes I even like the concrete (although don't get me wrong...I do love communing with Mother Nature!)

But last night it hit me full force...this is where I live...in the midst of people who have little in common with me...whose lives are sooo different from mine...and who actually like hanging out at the local bar.

The evening started like this. The Cardinals were playing, and since I LOVE the Cardinals, I decided I would be watching the game...not to mention that it's kind of an important time in Baseball and all! The unfortunate part was that due to other obligations I wouldn't be able to watch the beginning of the game, but I figured that I would still be able to catch the 4th inning on...so I made plans with my friend Aubrey to go and watch the game at a bar that is midway between our houses.

This bar was down the street from where I live....If you want to get a feel for the type of establishment it is, they actually have a lounge singer during dinner time, and their salad bar consists of iceberg lettuce and little more. It's kind of sad. But downstairs is a pretty decent sized bar (with HORRIBLE chairs) and they have a big screen television.

I got there before Aubrey and went in. I sat down at the bar and the girl behind the bar walks over. She looked interesting to say the least with her Colts hat on sideways. I order a beverage and it takes her a while. She's too busy fighting back and forth with some of the costumers and randomly making out with some guy. She finally gets me the drink. The Jukebox is playing music about 50 notches louder than it needs to be...it was beyond annoying. Throughout the evening it switched back and forth between Metalica, country music, and sappy Chicago and Jounrney songs...the other girl behind the bar kept going over and playing more music all evening...I wanted to break her legs.

There were people playing pool...most a few of them quite drunk...and one pair of guys looks like Mut and Jeff. There was the tall lanky African American man (which in itself is amazing since my town is overrun with white folk) and his friend was a short white guy with a nasty long goatee type thing and a tatoo of Green Eggs and Ham on his arm. Who tattoos Green eggs and ham on their arm????

There was another Cardinals fan in the room who bragged to me that not only did he have a home down in the Ozarks but also one in Pontoon Beach across the River from STL. I'm sure they're both very nice homes....

The fact that the Cardinals totally lost didn't do anything to make me feel better...and by the time we were ready to leave, I was beginning to feel pretty sad that this was the company I was keeping. I don't mean to judge and I'm trying not to...but wow...those people at the bar were living their normal life...go to the bar on Sunday night...let the jukebox blow out your eyes...drink until you can't walk...make out with random people...and drive a big truck. I guess that's ok (well some of it anyway) but it's just not me. I want to go to a book store. I want to see theater that doesn't involve old country stars. I want to meet people who care about world issues and actually know what the washington page controversy is!

But...this is my life. At least it's interesting! I'm going to Springfield tonight to watch the game...

Today is the Day...

It's official. Today I claim 26 years of life. It's kinda crazy. 26 years...that means 26 birthdays. For those of you who know me (and I'm pretty sure you all do) you know that I absolutely adore my birthday. I love celebrating and there's still something very magical for me about my birthday. It makes me want to dress a little cuter, smile a little bit more, and most definitely wear fabulous shoes!

As I look back on my life (which some people say is only just beginning) I feel like I've done, and am doing, pretty good for myself. I am a successful (whatever that means!) single woman, who is more than happy with who she is and lives life with a smile on her face and a laugh in her voice. I know I'm not perfect, but who wants to be perfect...it seems so boring. I think my flaws are part of what makes me...me.

It's been a good 26 years, and I bet the next 26 will be pretty amazing too...I don't know what the future has in store for me, but I'm pretty sure being me, there will be at least some adventure and few crazy stories to tell along the way, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Since today is my birthday, I've been thinking of the good times of birthdays gone by, so if you'd like, please feel free to take a trip down memory lane with me.

Some of my earliest birthday memories involved the joint family birthday parties for me and my brother. Our birthdays are less than a month away...often I would get more than one party for my birhtday...the family party, the school party, and the party for me and my friends...maybe that's why I still feel the need to celebrate for an extended period of time when this day rolls around.

I remember having a cake once that looked like a doll. It was so neat.

I remember slumber parties...lots of slumber parties when Marti, Ingrid, Katie, Cindy, Melissa and the gang all ended up at my house. We usually got into some kind of trouble...there was the one year that someone overflowed the toilet and to this day my parents still don't believe it wasn't me! Then there were the years that we pulled the bed mattress out of my room and put on the counter and roll down it into the family room.

Then there was the surprise costume party my mom and dad threw for me...and they got me the flapper costume and it was Awesome!

There was the birthday trip to NYC, and seeing tons of plays with my parents, tavern on the green, the New York Athletic club, and the cute guy that worked with dad's colleagues out in NYC.

College birthdays were fun...that's when Mel sent me my pool boy, and the infamous blow up doll entered the scene. His name was Antoine...too funny!

Then there was trip to MI sophmore year with Rachel and Danielle...oh man there were enough laughs that weekend to last a lifetime, and I got to travel 12 hours in the Big Blue Van all decorated for the birthday and spend time with the waller family who more and more feel like they are truly my family...

Then the last yearof college is when the tradition of Birthday Wings entered the scene thanks to Laura. That was the year I turned 21. Gruber, Danielle and Laura took me to a little pub in St. Paul where we toasted in my birthday at midnight, and the next day we had the pancake breakfast at the house and people all over campus kept walking up to me and telling me happy birthday and giving me flowers becuas my friends set it up that way...AND that was the year that Christus Choir started singing to me as soon as I walked into Chapel! Then the trip to IA to see camp friends and Julie Brown sang the Birthday song, and Keith played the song he had written, which to this day is about the nicest, coolest thing anyone has ever said about me and done for me. I'm also pretty sure that's when I got my speeding ticket in the middle of no where trying to visit Steff.

Then the North Carolina Birthdays began...with Ann and Martha laughing at me for wearing the wings. Danielle had all the friends send TONS of B-day cards. The Greig Family always made my birthday special! And I will never forget the night we went to the Martini Bar for my birthday and the random guy become our best friend and Becky left a way too big tip! And the time that Charles played "Happy Birthday" to me as the organ postlude after a Sunday service!!!

Then last year my mom came down and we went to Eureka Springs and the "pizza escapades." That's when I learned what it really means to live in the Ozarks...and Aubrey and I will never forget snaggletooth who wanted to celebrate my birhtday with us so badly!

And this year has been pretty fabulous already. My parents came down to visit...just in time to come with me to the 80s party! (Pics to come soon) My cool new roomate and Aubrey took me to lunch at the hard luck diner where Laura and her friends sang to me, and made a bit of a fuss over the birthday...and tonight I think I will just hang out with some good friends.

Writing all of this down reminds me what a great life I really do have. I have been so blessed with the people around me, and I really do cherish each and every one of you. My life would not be as full without you and I know that God has chosen to bless me with you all! Thanks for loving me...thanks for taking this life journey with me, and I hope that as the years roll by we will have amazing experiences piling up one after another...each of them showing us a little bit more of how great and abundant life is!

Hello Friends...

Well I figured I would take this opportunity to give you all a little update on my life. Nothing too new and exciting, but it's been a while.

I've pretty much been the only person in my office for the past two days and I'm getting sick of answering the phones, which seals it for me, I will never be a secretary.

I've been pretty busy with work stuff, lots of youth activities and other stuff going on around here. Last week I even had to get up two days in a row at 5:30 in the morning in order to be at morning youth functions. I thought that youth leaders never had to get up before 9...but I apparently I am wrong! : )

I have a new roommate. Her name is Valerie and she is an Americorp worker. She moved in last Thursday and things are going pretty well...granted we haven't even lived together for a week yet, but we have both decided that watching Parental Control on MTV pretty exciting. It's a really ridiculous show but I can't lie, I get sucked into it! Great now my dating life is being lived vicariously through hormonal teenagers whose parents hate their current significant (or insignificant) others.

My birthday is a week from today. In one week I will be 26. I'm trying to think of the things I should do before I turn 26, but nothing is really coming up...so I'm open to suggestions!

Well that's about it. I'm off to work!