Tuesday, December 26, 2006

The glow of my tree...

It's the day after Christmas. I've just had a whirlwind week and weekend, and now here I sit in my front room, back at my own house, alone and quiet. My front room is lit with the glow of my Christmas tree. I left my dog at my mom and dad's house becuase I'm leaving for MN this weekend. The only sound is the hum of my heater. I have a glass of wine and I am relaxed.

There's so much I could write about. I have learned and grown so much in the past four days. There are two things that I feel like writing about but honestly time and words will probably fail to accurately share what it is I want to share.

The first thing is that I have the most amazing family. I love them more than I can express. I've always known how blessed I am to have amazing parents, and a wonderful relationship with my brother (and sister in law too). This weekend I got to spend quite a bit of time with my grandparents. If you know me at all you know how much I love my grandparents. I was always close to my three grandparents. Whenever there are family things I miss my Grandma Adams. Since she passed away there are still times that I wish I could call her on the phone because I know she understood me more than just about anyone I could think of. I think there were so many things about us that were similar...Grandma just knew me. I missed her at the candlelight service on Christmas Eve. I miss hearing her sing the harmony to Silent Night...I tried to fill in for her this year, but somehow it just wasn't as beautiful. I realized again this weekend how proud I am to say that I am a lot like my Grandma Adams. This weekend did give me the opportunity to spend quite a bit of time with my Grandma and Grandpa Ehrhard. My grandma is in the hospital and I got to spend a lot of time sitting at the end of her bed, talking about nothing imporant but just being together. (Mom, dad, grandma and grandpa...I know you'll read this....so don't roll your eyes yet. I just want to share with my friends how wonderful you all are) I guess all I really want to say about it is this...if anyone wants to know what true, real love and devotion look like, spend a minute with my grandparents. Your heart will be full...like mine still is.

Then there were the times this weekend when I got to hang out with my parents. They are still the people whose opinion matters most to me...and even though my father might tell you differently at times, I respect them more than anything. As I get older not only do I look to them for guidance and "parental" type things, but I also look to them for friendship. We really do have a good time together. So if you want another look at true love and see how playful it can be, try spending an afternoon with my parents. It's sure to be a good time! Especially if my dad reads you the story about Armodillo Ray.

And the second thing is this...I am convinced once again that God still speaks to his children today. I spent a lot of time in church this weekend. Each time I walked into the sanctuary with something hanging on my heart, and each time the scripture readings and sermons could have been written and spoken just for me. God spoke to my heart and reminded me of what Christmas really means. This year in my family the parties looked different, there weren't rooms and rooms full of presents, and our "holiday" was about as disjointed as it could be...but I think this Holiday has been one of the best ever because I was once again given the most precious gift...the gift of God with us.

p.s...if anyone tried to call this weekend, I didn't answer because my phone broke when I was in STL....it's fixed now...and should be working again.

p.p.s...I am going to MN this weekend and I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE ALL MY MN FRIENDS!!!!!! : ) And Beautiful Godson Noah. YAY!

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Scary...

I saw the most frightening commercial last night. I was sitting in front of the tele, wasting time watching Dirty Dancing...not the movie, but the new reality show with Chris Judd...when I should have been wrapping present (which I haven't started) or cleaning up the kitchen after our Christmas Cheer party (which I'm partially started).

It was a commercial break and it showed a mom and dad sleeping soundly and the children sleeping in their rooms when all the sudden some women starts singing "Oh Christmas Tree." Eventually all the family members wake from their slumber and tiptoe down the hallway. As they near the front room you can see the glow of the Christmas tree and as the camera pans around the corner, Celene Dion is sprawled on the floor under the tree singing.

The narrator then says something to the effect of, "wouldn't it be great if every one could have Celene Dion under their Christmas tree on Christmas morning"

I didn't know if I should laugh or cry... If Celene Dion was on my floor on Christmas morning, I'd be a little worried. I think it was trying to sell her perfume.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Too Good to Be True!

I have a bunch of stuff I want to update everyone on...And I have lots of pictures from my new digital camera that I'd like to share...but in the interest of my time, I wanted to tell you all about my spectacular morning so far.

I overslept a little bit this morning and came running into work in a "haven't had my coffee yet" type of haze. A lady from church that I adore told me there was a package for me in front of my office door. Yay! My first Christmas present. So I opened my gift to see what it was and I tell you no lie...it was a Chia Pet. I have to say that this is quite possibly the best "church" gift anyone has ever given me. Not only is is a chia pet, but it is an elephant chia pet with a free Chia Alarm clock that rings the tune of "ch ch ch chia." Absolutely too good to be true!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

To Give Thanks...

One of my favorite Thanksgiving moments was when I was living in a house with some amazing women. I could write about it here and tell you all about it, but instead I'm just going to tell you to check out Lindsey's blog (it's linked on the side of my page). Feel free to join in the fun and add to the list of things you're thankful for. It's fun...be as creative or ridiculous as you want!

This year, take some time to think about the things that you are thankful for...maybe start with the things you take most for granted...I'm sure you'll be blessed by the experience.

Happy Thanksgiving (tomorrow) to everyone!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Hair...

I got my hair cut again last night...and if I had a digital camera this would be the perfect moment for me to whip it out and take a picture of my fabulously cute hair.

Unfortunately I don't have a camera...and by Thursday (when I'm in STL around people with cameras) I will probably be struggling with trying to fix my hair in a way that doesn't look absolutely ridiculous! : )

But it's cute right now...too bad you can't see it!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Well...it finally happened.

Today I received my first invitation from a church singles group. Apparently the word is out that I am indeed a Christian and old (and single) enough to be part of a "singles" group.

I don't really know how to put this without sounding like a horrible person...but I've always kind of thought that "singles" groups were there for those adults who are starting the down slide of their prime and getting a little...well...desperate. I really don't think I fit into either of those categories...but maybe I just have the wrong view of things...I always imagine that the majority of people present at these types of group meetings are single women in the late twenties to early forties who are somewhat awkward when it comes to the art of conversation and relationship...but maybe I'm wrong and being a complete jerk. Maybe this event is something that would be fun, and a good way to meet other people my age in the SW Missouri area...of course I have a sneaking suspicion that this is the lie that all singles have to tell themselves to make themselves show up to an event such as this.

To their credit the group has chosen to meet at a micro-brewery and then go on the art-walk in Springfield...so it doesn't sound totally lame. I have not yet decided if I will grace the event with my presence so weigh in on the issue if you'd like...

Also...it feels like winter. It's cold. That's all...I'm out.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Frustration...

I hate when people clearly see that you are frustrated and say, "don't let this frustrate you." Um...ok.

I don't really know what else to say. I felt like blogging a couple seconds ago, and now as I sit at my computer I'm not feeling it quite as much.

The moral of this story is that I am frustrated. Slightly discouraged even. The problem is that when I get this way it's hard to focus on other things because I dwell on fixing the thing that's frustrating me. Am I weird? I sometimes wish I was the type of person who could just let things go and move on...but I'm not. My friend Rachel commented on something that I wrote and said that she was glad that I had these moments because it means that I have compassion...my father once said that maybe it was good that I got upset about some of these things because it means that I was still passionate about what I do. Maybe they're right...or maybe I just haven't formed the thick skin that I need for my job.

Last night at bible study my prayer request was for patience. Maybe this is God's way of teaching me patience. Would it be bad to tell someone, "You are God's way of teaching me patience." That's probably not the best way to approach the situation. Sometimes though I just want to tell people, "your mother would tell you you're being ridiculous right now." I realize that these probably aren't the best thoughts to put out there into the blogging world...anyone and everyone could read them...and my mom will probably call me and tell me I'm being ridiculous when she reads this...but it's just me, and what i'm feeling right now. I love people, and I want to lead them to jesus, but it's hard when situations make it hard for me to love them...Iguess that's when we realize it's time to step aside and let God do the work.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Waiting...

So it's no secret that I'm not good at waiting. In fact I'm pretty horrible at it. I used to joke that when God gave out the gift of patience, I was at the end of the line. When I was growing up I was at my friend Ingrid's house and I remember we were hungry...really hungry. We found some frozen dinners in the freezer and groaned when the package said we were going to have to wait a whole 2 and half minutes for the dinner to be done. I guess I'm ok with the fact that I'm a not a good waiter...I have other gifts. I was reading a book this evening as I was preparing for my Sunday Evening Bible Study group and it said that we should write down all our thoughts on waiting... so here are some of mine.

it's hard...

I think I don't like waiting because I'm afraid of what the outcome might be...or more that the outcome won't be what I want it to be. Maybe it's a lack of faith or trust. How many times have I read in scripture that God has a plan for my life...how many times have I heard people say, "if it's not worth waiting for, maybe it's not worth having." And yet this culture that we live in tells us we should have everything right now. Fast food. Convenience shops. ATMs. Pay at the Pump. Credit Cards.

It's not good enough to get out of college and get your feet on the ground, but you're supposed to be successful and make decent money so you can pay off your college loans and drive a nice car and have a nice home...and the constant question, "why aren't you dating anyone? Don't you think it's time to start thinking about getting married and having a family?" It seems we are always being rushed into the next phase of life. It seems like sometimes waiting is equated with being discontent...you're just waiting for something better to come along.

Maybe waiting is more about being in the "now" than anticipating the next best thing. I used to always feel content in the moment. I find as I grow older, I grow bored quicker...When I'm bored I become discontent, and when I'm discontent I start looking (rathing impatiently) for the next best thing to come along.

What would our lives look like if we lived in the now...if we embraced each moment for what it was and what it was worth...what if we really lived like each day was a gift that we have been given. What would it look like if we lived like each day would be our last.

I don't know...I suppose i could write on forever and ever on this subject and never make any sense whatsoever...but people are arriving for Bible Study so off I go.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

FYI...

I'm not sad anymore...now I'm just sick. ugh.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Right now...

I am sad. That is all.

Monday, October 16, 2006

I gave it away...

Tonight I had a meeting/Bible study with some people in my area that I do community youth outreach with. For the second week in a row there is one girl who hasn't had a Bible with her. I happened to have an extra pocket Bible out in my car so I went out and grabbed it for her to use. At the end of the night, I asked her if she needed a Bible because she could have mine if she wanted it.

She opened the front of the Bible and I realized it was one that I had had for quite some time. In the front of it was my name written in little Rachel's handwriting, and "Grace Chapel Sunday School" was written in the "Presented By" section.

I'd forgotten that at one time I had gotten that Bible for perfect attendance at Sunday School. I was proud of it. I had tried hard to be at Sunday School every week and that Bible had been my reward. Tonight I gave it away. I won't lie. It does make me a little sad that I won't be able to look at my scribbled name, but I can't think of anything I could have done with that book that would have been better. I hope that book is as much a reward to her as it was to me so many years ago.
Last night I realized...

the fullness of the town I live in. If you know me, it's no secret that I prefer the city. I like the speed, the buildings, the people, and sometimes I even like the concrete (although don't get me wrong...I do love communing with Mother Nature!)

But last night it hit me full force...this is where I live...in the midst of people who have little in common with me...whose lives are sooo different from mine...and who actually like hanging out at the local bar.

The evening started like this. The Cardinals were playing, and since I LOVE the Cardinals, I decided I would be watching the game...not to mention that it's kind of an important time in Baseball and all! The unfortunate part was that due to other obligations I wouldn't be able to watch the beginning of the game, but I figured that I would still be able to catch the 4th inning on...so I made plans with my friend Aubrey to go and watch the game at a bar that is midway between our houses.

This bar was down the street from where I live....If you want to get a feel for the type of establishment it is, they actually have a lounge singer during dinner time, and their salad bar consists of iceberg lettuce and little more. It's kind of sad. But downstairs is a pretty decent sized bar (with HORRIBLE chairs) and they have a big screen television.

I got there before Aubrey and went in. I sat down at the bar and the girl behind the bar walks over. She looked interesting to say the least with her Colts hat on sideways. I order a beverage and it takes her a while. She's too busy fighting back and forth with some of the costumers and randomly making out with some guy. She finally gets me the drink. The Jukebox is playing music about 50 notches louder than it needs to be...it was beyond annoying. Throughout the evening it switched back and forth between Metalica, country music, and sappy Chicago and Jounrney songs...the other girl behind the bar kept going over and playing more music all evening...I wanted to break her legs.

There were people playing pool...most a few of them quite drunk...and one pair of guys looks like Mut and Jeff. There was the tall lanky African American man (which in itself is amazing since my town is overrun with white folk) and his friend was a short white guy with a nasty long goatee type thing and a tatoo of Green Eggs and Ham on his arm. Who tattoos Green eggs and ham on their arm????

There was another Cardinals fan in the room who bragged to me that not only did he have a home down in the Ozarks but also one in Pontoon Beach across the River from STL. I'm sure they're both very nice homes....

The fact that the Cardinals totally lost didn't do anything to make me feel better...and by the time we were ready to leave, I was beginning to feel pretty sad that this was the company I was keeping. I don't mean to judge and I'm trying not to...but wow...those people at the bar were living their normal life...go to the bar on Sunday night...let the jukebox blow out your eyes...drink until you can't walk...make out with random people...and drive a big truck. I guess that's ok (well some of it anyway) but it's just not me. I want to go to a book store. I want to see theater that doesn't involve old country stars. I want to meet people who care about world issues and actually know what the washington page controversy is!

But...this is my life. At least it's interesting! I'm going to Springfield tonight to watch the game...

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Today is the Day...

It's official. Today I claim 26 years of life. It's kinda crazy. 26 years...that means 26 birthdays. For those of you who know me (and I'm pretty sure you all do) you know that I absolutely adore my birthday. I love celebrating and there's still something very magical for me about my birthday. It makes me want to dress a little cuter, smile a little bit more, and most definitely wear fabulous shoes!

As I look back on my life (which some people say is only just beginning) I feel like I've done, and am doing, pretty good for myself. I am a successful (whatever that means!) single woman, who is more than happy with who she is and lives life with a smile on her face and a laugh in her voice. I know I'm not perfect, but who wants to be perfect...it seems so boring. I think my flaws are part of what makes me...me.

It's been a good 26 years, and I bet the next 26 will be pretty amazing too...I don't know what the future has in store for me, but I'm pretty sure being me, there will be at least some adventure and few crazy stories to tell along the way, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Since today is my birthday, I've been thinking of the good times of birthdays gone by, so if you'd like, please feel free to take a trip down memory lane with me.

Some of my earliest birthday memories involved the joint family birthday parties for me and my brother. Our birthdays are less than a month away...often I would get more than one party for my birhtday...the family party, the school party, and the party for me and my friends...maybe that's why I still feel the need to celebrate for an extended period of time when this day rolls around.

I remember having a cake once that looked like a doll. It was so neat.

I remember slumber parties...lots of slumber parties when Marti, Ingrid, Katie, Cindy, Melissa and the gang all ended up at my house. We usually got into some kind of trouble...there was the one year that someone overflowed the toilet and to this day my parents still don't believe it wasn't me! Then there were the years that we pulled the bed mattress out of my room and put on the counter and roll down it into the family room.

Then there was the surprise costume party my mom and dad threw for me...and they got me the flapper costume and it was Awesome!

There was the birthday trip to NYC, and seeing tons of plays with my parents, tavern on the green, the New York Athletic club, and the cute guy that worked with dad's colleagues out in NYC.

College birthdays were fun...that's when Mel sent me my pool boy, and the infamous blow up doll entered the scene. His name was Antoine...too funny!

Then there was trip to MI sophmore year with Rachel and Danielle...oh man there were enough laughs that weekend to last a lifetime, and I got to travel 12 hours in the Big Blue Van all decorated for the birthday and spend time with the waller family who more and more feel like they are truly my family...

Then the last yearof college is when the tradition of Birthday Wings entered the scene thanks to Laura. That was the year I turned 21. Gruber, Danielle and Laura took me to a little pub in St. Paul where we toasted in my birthday at midnight, and the next day we had the pancake breakfast at the house and people all over campus kept walking up to me and telling me happy birthday and giving me flowers becuas my friends set it up that way...AND that was the year that Christus Choir started singing to me as soon as I walked into Chapel! Then the trip to IA to see camp friends and Julie Brown sang the Birthday song, and Keith played the song he had written, which to this day is about the nicest, coolest thing anyone has ever said about me and done for me. I'm also pretty sure that's when I got my speeding ticket in the middle of no where trying to visit Steff.

Then the North Carolina Birthdays began...with Ann and Martha laughing at me for wearing the wings. Danielle had all the friends send TONS of B-day cards. The Greig Family always made my birthday special! And I will never forget the night we went to the Martini Bar for my birthday and the random guy become our best friend and Becky left a way too big tip! And the time that Charles played "Happy Birthday" to me as the organ postlude after a Sunday service!!!

Then last year my mom came down and we went to Eureka Springs and the "pizza escapades." That's when I learned what it really means to live in the Ozarks...and Aubrey and I will never forget snaggletooth who wanted to celebrate my birhtday with us so badly!

And this year has been pretty fabulous already. My parents came down to visit...just in time to come with me to the 80s party! (Pics to come soon) My cool new roomate and Aubrey took me to lunch at the hard luck diner where Laura and her friends sang to me, and made a bit of a fuss over the birthday...and tonight I think I will just hang out with some good friends.

Writing all of this down reminds me what a great life I really do have. I have been so blessed with the people around me, and I really do cherish each and every one of you. My life would not be as full without you and I know that God has chosen to bless me with you all! Thanks for loving me...thanks for taking this life journey with me, and I hope that as the years roll by we will have amazing experiences piling up one after another...each of them showing us a little bit more of how great and abundant life is!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Hello Friends...

Well I figured I would take this opportunity to give you all a little update on my life. Nothing too new and exciting, but it's been a while.

I've pretty much been the only person in my office for the past two days and I'm getting sick of answering the phones, which seals it for me, I will never be a secretary.

I've been pretty busy with work stuff, lots of youth activities and other stuff going on around here. Last week I even had to get up two days in a row at 5:30 in the morning in order to be at morning youth functions. I thought that youth leaders never had to get up before 9...but I apparently I am wrong! : )

I have a new roommate. Her name is Valerie and she is an Americorp worker. She moved in last Thursday and things are going pretty well...granted we haven't even lived together for a week yet, but we have both decided that watching Parental Control on MTV pretty exciting. It's a really ridiculous show but I can't lie, I get sucked into it! Great now my dating life is being lived vicariously through hormonal teenagers whose parents hate their current significant (or insignificant) others.

My birthday is a week from today. In one week I will be 26. I'm trying to think of the things I should do before I turn 26, but nothing is really coming up...so I'm open to suggestions!

Well that's about it. I'm off to work!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

I Feel Fall...

Today when I woke up it was cool. It was the first real cool day that we've had here in SW Missouri. It feels good to have my favorite brown sweater on, and I love that I'm sitting here in my office listening to great music, drinking some good coffee, and working on next year's plans.

I love fall, but it makes me miss my friends. It makes me want to go horseback riding and pick apples. It makes me want to smell the smell of bonfires and drink apple cider. I want to bake a pie, and hang out with my roommates from the ghetto house on Dayton!

I don't know what it is about this season but for some reaons it makes me all nostalgic. Fall was always a time of new beginnings. I miss that part of fall, the new school year, the new friends, sports, clothes, possibilities... Maybe I just need to be more creative in my life and make some new beginnings for myself!

This Makes Me Smile






Godson Noah at 1....who and where will you be when you're grown???

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Godson Noah...

Godson Noah turns 1 on Saturday. I am leaving right now...like as soon as I finish this post...and I am driving to MN for the fabulous occasion...I can't wait to see my lovely friends!

Look out Minnesota, here I come!!

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Just some nonsense...

I don't really have anything spectacular to write about today. I just felt like writing. Maybe it's the gray weather, or the slow morning.

This morning I woke up early, because my dog was up and barking for no reason. This is strange behavior from an animal that usually looks at me like I am crazy when my alarm goes off at 8am. But for some reason, Lucy was up early and barking...

It's funny the things you're able to do in the morning when you wake up early...like shower and get ready without having to run around like a crazy person, which is what happens most mornings for me. One of the things I enjoy most about mornings with time is coffee. I cannot express to you how much I adore drinking coffee...yes I know it will turn my teeth yellow, and yes I know caffeine is not spectacularly good for you, and I know that it will stunt my growth and I will never be 5 foot 9 like I always thought I would be. But I don't care, the all around good feeling that I get when I drink the coffee and smell the aroma is something I can't match with anything else.

So I was in the office by 8:15 and drinking coffee at my incredibly messy desk. I know I ought to clean it, but to be honest, I'm just not in the mood. I want to get my schedule worked out. I want to write some goals for next year. I need to get organized (which if you know me, is no small task!)

That's all I've got for today everyone...just a bit of nonsense. But that's just me.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Why am I addicted???

Why am I so addicted to Project Runway. Seriously! I can't get enough of it. I've had it on my television since I got home. Granted I haven't been watching tv since I got home, but even hearing it is exciting for me. There's a new episode on tonight and I'm pretty stinking excited about it!

Tonight I am actually hanging out at home, hanging out by myself, and enjoying a little downtime. I can't remeber the last time I did this. It's been a while, and I'm not going to lie...it feels good.

I'm gonna read, run on the treadmill, and then watch the new Project Runway...and then lay my little relaxed head down to sleep! : )

I couldn't be happier!

Thursday, July 27, 2006

What's the Verdict???

Myspace and the kids in my youth group...If they're posting stuff about alcohol and party and junk (even if in all likelihood they aren't drinking or partying...well some are, some are just writing it to be cool)...do I call them out on myspace with a message or try to talk them in person or what....

your input is greatly appreciated...
It's one of those mornings...

I just don't know where to begin. I have all my last VBS stuff to deal with, my house is a disaster (and I have a group of vbs volunteers staying at my house for the week.) Most of my materials still have not showed up, I'm sick of making decorations, and I'm pretty tired. On top of it all, I'm supposed to go out with some friends tonight and I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to cancel.

So I'm sitting at my desk and I'm trying to get my junk in order, and I just am not feeling it today. I feel like I just got up on the wrong side of the bed.

Yesterday I was entirely productive...but today just doesn't feel like it's going to pan out that way. I'm thinking I may go get some coffee from the good coffee place up the road. That'll kick me into high gear.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

And I Cried...

You're not allowed to laugh at me.

The past few days have been a crazy, busy, hectic, exciting, group of days. Last thursday I left for STL to visit my family. I love spending time with my parents. I think the older I get, the more I like being around them. My dad's birthday was Thursday so we went out for dinner at a great Italian restaurant on the Hill. It was so good. My mom and dad and friend Cheryl made for a fun, interesting evening. You may have heard about the storms that hit the STL area and how a ton of people in the area were without power. My parents' home was one of the places without electricity, which meant that my parents, dog andI all slept in the basement of the house trying desperately to find the coolest place in the house. I'll never forget the night of my dad's 51st birthday, because I believe it is the only night my parents and I have had a slumber party. It was definitely memorable!

On Friday I got to hang out with my grandparents in the morning. We went to breakfast hoping to find a place that had air conditioning since they too had spent the night in the heat. We went to an IHOP...I won't lie, it was kinda ghetto. There were over 30 people on the list in front of me when I put our names on there. My grandparents arrived after me and not even 10 minutes after they arrived another storm hit and the electricity at IHOP went out too...chaos ensued!

We decided to stay and get whatever breakfast we could. All of us ate eggs, bacon, and milk, because that's all they could give us with the power outage. It was another memory I will hold for forever.

After hanging out with my grandparents whom I love very much, I went down to Barnes hospital to visit with my friend Cheryl and her mom Jane. Jane had a bone marrow transplant becuase she has cancer and I wanted to be able to be a support to my friend and her family at that time. It was my primary reason for going to St. Louis that weekend. I was surprised to see Jane looking amazingly well. We hung out at the hospital most of the day. It was nice to sit around and talk with my friend and her mom. I joked that I would spend the night there since they had air conditioning. I got to wear a surgical mask....if you think about it, say a prayer for Jane. She is an amazingly brave woman and I pray for her healing every day.

My parents came and picked Cheryl and I up and took us for dinner at another amazing Italian restaurant. (one of the things I miss most about STL are the amazing Italian restaurants.....sigh) We had pizza and talked for quite some time. I always forget how much I love having Cheryl as a friend until we spend time together. She is aboslutely amazing, and so fun to be around.

The next day I hung out at the hospital again. It was good...again. Then I returned home.

I have been working like crazy because VBS starts in less than week...which leads me to the title of this blog. Yesterday was a long day for me. I didn't leave work until after 12:30...in the morning! It was a long day and this morning I had to wake up early so I could leave the house by 7 to get to a meeting that I had out of town. I didn't get back to my house until 6:45 this evening. I am tired. I am worn out. And to make matters even worse I have been waiting on a box full of VBS supplies that I orderd almost a month ago.

Today I finally got an email about them saying that they had been returned to the company and the money was refunded to me...WHAT????? So I tracked my package of supplies and found out that somehow they thought I had given them an insufficient address...so I checked that too. I hadn't messed anything up...THEY HAD....so I called the company. A nice man answered the phone and told me that they had shipped it to the wrong place. He asked me if I wanted to place the order with him again...and I started to cry. I don't cry in front of people...not very often. But this man had to listen to me boo hoo to him about my VBS supplies. He was so nice. He replaced the order and had it shipped express without charging me...so I guess the crying might have actually been benificial..I just hope my stuff shows up!!!

That's not the worse part though...after I got done with the VBS stuff I decided to run on the treadmill...have a glass of wine and get ready for bed...while I was running I put in the movie Honey. I don't know if you have seen it...it's not meant to be a tear jerker...but after running I sat down to watch the movie and at the end I started to cry. Not just a few loose tears but a full on sob. I felt slightly ridiculous...just slightly. Who crys at honey???? I think I am just overly tired...which is why at this point I am going to say, "Don't Judge ME" and go to bed!

love.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Frustration of the Day...

I can't ecxactly pinpoint it, but for some reason I am just frustrated today. I am sitting at my desk, with my happy mood lamps on, actually accomplishing things, and yet I feel extremely frustrated. I can't tell you exactly why it is either.

Today is my dad's birthday and I am going to St. Louis this evening to see him for the special occasion, but it's only 1:30, and I want to leave now...unfortunately there is work that I should probably keep working on for a bit more before I hop in the car. The idea of driving for 4 hours isn't too terribly exciting to me, but I suppose it'll be good to clear my head.

I think most of my frustration is stemming from ministry type stuff at this time. There are so many things that I want to do and I want to see happen, but I am at the point at the new church where I'm no longer new and people aren't going to do things just because they want to do things for me, and I don't know how to help them capture my heart, God's heart, for the people in our community. I guess it's just one of those things that take time. I've always felt like I was one of those people that had an excitement about the things I care about that seems to be contagious to those around me...but I don't know if that's the case anymore...or at least where I'm at. I guess it's just time for me to be more intentional about sitting down with people and sharing my life, and my heart with them.

I just wish people saw that church and their relationship with God and the body of Christ is so much more than going through the motions on Sunday morning.

ok...enough of me jabbering on about frustration. Chin up...

I'm off to work...and then STL.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

mlegh...

VBS may be the end of me.

Monday, July 17, 2006


I don't want no scrub...


So the scrubs aren't terribly attractive, and yet somehow I think we managed to look pretty stinkin cute!
I never thought I'd miss....

I never thought I'd miss Minnesota, but I do. It might have something to do with the fact that I just spent an amazing week up in the Twin Cities at a conference where I learned more than I thought I would, and got to spend a lot of time with some of my favorite people.


That's my beautiful Godson, Noah. Wednesday was his mom's birthday, so Lindsey and I took Noah out on a date to the Olive Garden! It was so fun getting to hang out with Noah when there weren't a gazillion people around and I could get to know him. He has an amazing personality and he loves to laugh. He's happy and that makes me happy!!!

The conference I went to started on Thursday. I got to present for one of the modules with my friend Jill who graduated with me. It was fun to be in front of a group of people that included some of the people who taught us in college, and some of the people we graduated with. I also went to a section about church planting, and ministry to different cultures. I just gotta say that God was totally speaking to my heart and helping me to figure out some stuff that I have been praying about. My heart really did ache when I heard people talking about ministry in the city. I love the city. I miss the city. I feel called to the city. But at the same time, I know that my call isn't to a city right now and God just opened my eyes and showed me that there are exciting things about ministry right where I'm at, so I'm looking forward to seeing where some of those things might lead me.

Friday night Dani and Lindsey and I went out to celebrate Dani's birthday.

I forget how much I just like to sit around and talk with these girls. They are amazing women who make me a better person just by being around them.

Saturday night was Dani's birthday party. Since she's kinda addicted to Grey's Anatomy, the party was a Grey's theme and we were all supposed to wear scrubs, except for the ones that came from the thrift store that Linds and I got ours from were GINORMOUS!!!! I was in a bit of a crabby mood for because I had to wear the scrubs that looked ridiculous, so we started joking around about it. I figured since there was so much extra room in the pants I might as well make it look like my butt was bigger, so I stuff some stuff down my pants. I realize how absolutely ridiculous that sounds, but at the moment it seemed like a good idea! So I got a few shirts to make my butt look bigger. Then Lindsey decided she would help us to laugh a little bit more...and she got a full size pillow and put it in her pants. It was HILARIOUS. I thought I would pee my pants I was laughing so hard. So I had her put the pillow in my pants too...(this story does not make us sound very cool, but I assure you, at the time it was so funny...you would have laughed and asked if you could stuff the pillow in your pants too!)

We decided we should take our new booty gear with us to the party to let Danielle see how funny we are! Sunday I went to church at Woodbury where Linds works and it was great to be there. I hung out with the friends a little bit more on Sunday night and then work up and drove hom this morning at 4:30. Needless to say. I am pretty tired. But the trip was fun and well worth the fatigue I am feeling right now!

It is official. I miss Minnesota.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Livin la vida Branson...

Well July has been crazy busy. I've been running in and out of town for youth trips, vacation, conferences and the like. I feel like I have hardly been at home at all. Life has been good though. Work has been productive, vacation was AMAZING (thanks John and Kim!) and I'm leaving tomorrow for Minnesota which I'm sure will be lovely because I get to stay with Lindsey and hang out with the Tietjens.

The only thing I can think of to complain about right now is Branson...dear goodness. Apparently in the past two weeks everyone and their 4 brothers have decided to come down to the good old Ozarks and take in the local culture. This is great and all, but it means I have to sit in TONS of traffic if I want to go just about anywhere. I had to cancel a meeting the other day because there was no way everyone would be able to get to the restaurant we were meeting at because the traffic was so bad. I know that everyone has to deal with traffic at one time or another, but the problem is, when they planned out this city, they made sure there were only two lane roads, that you can't pass on, and you have to take if you want to be able to get to your desitination. There are few short cuts that actually make things shorter...

It almost makes me wish it was January. But when I get cranky about traffic, I remember that I live on a beautiful lake and I get to go swim whenever I want...and that seems to make everything better.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Peter Pan and Tennis...

What do these two things have in common...well not a whole heck of a lot, except for the fact that these were the things that occupied my evening.

Tonight I picked up my racket and played tennis for the first time in way over a year. It was a lot of fun. I didn't stink as bad as I thought I would (don't get me wrong, I wasn't spectacular by any means, but still it could have been way worse.) By the end of the second set I had a couple pretty nice hits...I think if I could get my serves down a little better I'd be a worthy opponent.

When I got home, I had my house all to myself, so I decided to totally veg out on the couch and watch a movie. My roommates have a copy of the Peter Pan movie that came out a couple years ago and since I had never seen it I decided to give it a go. Wow...it was so good. I just kept thinking that it captured the story quite well. Anyway, it was well worth my time.

So all in all I must say that this evening was rather enjoyable for me. Having said that, if anyone happens to be swinging through my area and wants to take me on in a little tennis match, you just give me a hollar!!!

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

I haven't been in the mood...

I just haven't been in the mood to write lately. That's strange for me. Usually I can sit down and write about almost anything. It's easy for me. But lately the words don't seem to come. It's not that there hasn't been anything going on in my life. I have been pretty busy since I got back from Haiti. There's lots to be done with work, and it's summer and that means more people want to go play!

I've had some pretty crazy moments in the past week that would be worth recounting here, but the thing I think I am going to talk about right now is NPR.

I am a complete NPR junkie. I listen to it whenever I am in the car...unless other people are with me who can't tolerate talk radio. When NPR is on one of it's music times and I'm not feeling the classical, I usually turn the station to the Jim Rome show. I don't know what it is about Talk Radio...but it's definitely something I am into. I find this funny because my father used to listen to talk radio all the time and when he would pick me up from school or practice or something I would always be upset that he was listening to talk radio. I found it so boring back in the day. I think I will have to give credit to Keith Williams, my ceramics professor in college for reintroducing NPR into my life. It was always on in the clay studio and I learned to love listening to the news of the day, and interviews of random people.

Anyway I guess all I'm saying is that if you don't already listen to NPR...you should give it a try. You just might like it.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Prayer Request...

Hey y'all can you pray for my friend Melissa. She is in the hospital with some stomach issues. I guess the doctor's don't know what's going on right now so they're doing tons of tests.

Please keep her in your prayers!

Thanks.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Coming Home...

I am back at home...lounging in my bedroom with the nice cool air-conditioning. I just had a nice dinner, and my dog is by my side. Things seem to be back how they were before I left for Haiti...

It's interesting though because somehow things don't feel the same. I'm not sure I'm ready to write about Haiti right now...in fact I know I'm not. I don't think I've really even begun to process through my trip. I did want to let everyone know that I was back and safe.

I had an amazing, wonderful trip. God is amazingly good. I know that this trip has only made me crave more of the same kind of work. So I ask for your prayers as I seek God's guidance in that.

Hopefully tomorrow I can sit down and take some time to put some of my thoughts into words. But for now, know that my entire team was incredibly blessed by the trip. God has definitely taught us all a little something about his world. I ask for your prayers for the countyr and people of Haiti.

If you're interested in some pictures from the trip, my amazingly cool friend Lindsey (who was also on the trip) was way less of a slacker than me and has already created a little slideshow of our experience so you can click the link to her blog on the side of my page!

Enjoy!

More to come....

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Did I mention???

Did I mention that I'm going to Haiti! I am so excited!!!!!!!!!
So much...

I suppose there is so much for me to say right now. I haven't written in a while. Life has been busy...a good busy. I have been super busy with work, and it's all been good stuff. May has been a month of feeling very affirmed in the things I do with my job. Sometimes sitting at a desk makes me wonder why I bother with this type of ministry...but then I have opportunities to be in the trenches...to be serving, encouraging, caring and sharing. That's when I feel whole.

I don't have much time to write now either, but I leave in a few days for Haiti and I'll be gone for a while. So I just wanted to check in and ask you all to pray for me next week while I'm gone. I really hope that my time there, even if it is short, will in some way share some of God's goodness with a people that need it so badly!

So to everyone that I haven't talked to in forever, I still love ya, and I think about you all the time (especially you carrie!!! feel better soon!!!) and I can't wait to talk to you when I get back from Haiti. I'm sure I'll stories to share...maybe they'll even be entertaining.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

2nd night...

This is the second night in a row that I haven't been able to sleep. I'm not exactly sure what my deal is. I know I am tired. I can feel it...but when I lay down...restlessness sets in.

It could be the 6 gazillion things I have going on in my world this month. I might be a tiny bit stressed out about this community service project I am planning for a bunch of area churches...it might be the antimalarial medicine rearing it's ugly head. Maybe my body has just decided that insomnia would be a cool thing for it...I don't know. I just want to go to sleep and I can't.

I made myself a glass of stress relief tea. My roommates have so many teas with natural herbs in them. The one I am drinking now is chamomile and lavendar. It's supposed to calm my restlessness and relieve my stress. Do we really think this is possible. I don't know. I've never been much into herbal anything but I'm ready to give it a whirl. Turns out it actually tastes pretty good...a mixture between bit-o-honey and chewing on one of those mint toothpicks. That might seem like a weird combo, but when you put it in a cup of tea, it's actually pretty decent.

I just hope it makes me sleep and lets me get some rest. There's a lot that needs to happen tomorrow...and nobody like a crabby Rachel.

Monday, May 01, 2006

I feel like me...

I think it's strange that there are moments when I just feel more like myself. Right now is one of those moments. I'm sitting in a coffee shop. (Let's hear it for free internet.) I have a cup of strong coffee and my head phones are making it easy to slip into my own little world. I won't lie...of course I'm watching the people around me. There are the two girls who don't look much older than me who have their kids here. Their two daughters are dressed all in pink, one even has a tutu. They are dancing around the coffee shop like they are performing on a stage...it reminds me of when I was little and my mom would play the piano and I would dance around the front room of our house...how she kept from laughing at me I'll never know. There are a couple groups who seem to have come together for study groups...I've been there before, but I never got much done in study groups. I usually spent more time chatting with friends and solving the world's problems. There's a group of high schoolers sitting in the corner booth using "studying at the coffee shop" as an excuse to be together and share those all important stolen touches and kisses while their parents aren't around. There is a group of middle aged ladies enjoying a meal with their friends, two friends who appear to have met up after work to have a quick dinner, and the guy sitting by himself, staring at his computer just like I'm staring at mine. Maybe places and moments like this make him feel like himself too.

There's about 20 girls in their 20s...some type of college group maybe. They'll all dressed up with hair done. I remember a time when I got all gussied up to go to the coffee shop...those days are over. Here I sit in my t-shirt and jeans. My hair is slightly dirty (no surprise) and pulled in a ponytail on top of my head...a scarf is tied in my head trying to keep the frizziness at bay. I read part of The Tempest...

It just feels good to be sitting here, not thinking about anything specific, and letting my mind wander wherever it pleases.

I'm reminded of my many trips to the coffee houses of Minnesota. In my opinion, no one does a coffee shop better than Uptown. I miss Pandora's Cup...even the smoky Plan B. I miss hearing Danielle order the chai tea and saying it's like "thanksgiving in a cup." I miss Gruber and the random conversations about boys. I miss fake eyelashes and glitter thanks to laura doing my makeup before heading out. I miss the randomness of coffee houses. But most of all I miss opportunities to just check out if I feel like it. Yeah I like spending time with my friends and the people in my life, but every now and then it is good to just sit down be me.

Last week...

Last week I was completely lazy. I think I slept more last week than I have slept in a long time. It happened to be one of the weeks at work wher there was very little going on during the day. My evenings were filled with activities but work was slow. Sure there were things I could have gotten done...like moving the easter boxes out of my office down to the garage...but I didn't. It was a good week for me.

Of course now I look ahead to two weeks of craziness leading up to a community service event...and then Haiti!!!! May, and the entire summer will prove to be quite busy. I'm good with that though. I like busy.

I feel like I have exciting stories that I could write here...but they just won't come...so I'm off to accomplish some of the work that should have happened last week! Happy Monday everyone.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Manic Monday...

Today seems to be going so slow. I have no motivation. It is grey outside and raining. My office is gloomy and filled with boxes that need to go down to the shed. Big projects are done, the next ones won't happen for the next couple weeks. There's nothing pressing. My feet are propped up on the desk.

I actually thought going to the doctor to get a shot was exciting because it got me out of my office for just a few minutes.

But I like today. I think it's good. I had been going nonstop and now I actually get to sit...breathe...relax...get vaccinated.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

When it's been so long...

It's hard to decide what to write about when it's been so long since I last wrote.

I'd like to report on two of my favorite things that I've seen in the Ozarks in the past week. I must say, I think you see things here that you wouldn't see a whole lot of places. Last weekend my family came to visit (it being Easter and all) and we went out to dinner. As I was sitting at the table with Heidi, the parents, grandparents and roommates, my friend drew my attention the shoes on the man who apparently owned the place. I'm usually a fan of unique shoes...but these bad boys were kind of scary. He had snake skin cowboy boots. At the toe of the boot there was a rattle snake head on each side. I wasn't aware that you would even buy things like that. I think I would be afraid my shoes would bite me.

And then yesterday as I was driving into Branson I was passed by someone on a motorcyle that was carrying one of those big celophane wrapped easter baskets in front of them...I don't know about you but I think that would be a little bit of a sight hinderance.

I've been so busy with everything leading up to Easter. Now it's past, and I'm enjoying a little bit of relaxation. I'm learning that it is good to stop and rest every now and again.

I hope you all had a great Easter! Nothing like a celebration of Jesus to remind you of what it means to be freed and forgiven.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Am I Artsy...

Right now I am feeling like my most artistic version of myself. I am sitting in my office looking out the window at the pouring down rain, lightning and wind. My outfit is pretty amazing...camo sweat pants, pink t-shirt with crawfish on it that reads, "Mud Bug 89, New Orleans" and my blue orange and white silk paisly scarf tied around my extremely messy pony-tail.

I've just come up from the shed at church where I've been painting. I'm making big signs for an Easter Community Event we are having next week. I have huge pieces of wood and a bunch of paint, so I'm putting my creative juices to work and making something beautiful and attention grabbing out of something old and plain.

I feel artsy.

It reminds me of the days when my friends and I would hang out and work in the clay studio, lisntening to music and talking about things that we really didn't know about. We were dirty. We were in old dingy clothes, but somehow those are the moments when I felt most creative.

I feel creative now...and it's fun.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Day off...

This is probably the thing I struggle with the most in church work. I know I'm supposed to take a day off, but I rarely do it...

I don't know why, but there times when I get busy...we all know what that's like. But for some reason I can't pull myself away from the office. Two weekends ago I was in Chicago with my Sr. High. Last weekend we had a big youth fundraiser. This weekend I'm taking the Jr. Highers to camp. And in the middle...there's been no downtime.

And last night in the midst of Lenten Mid-week chaos...I realized I was tired. And I needed a day off. Knowing that I wouldn't take Friday (my "usual" day) I decided today would be the day.

But I know I'm just a little bit of a poser. Becuase here I sit at 10am still at home...but only becuase Aaron has my car up and is changing the oil. I can't go anywhere. But as soon as that car is ready to go...I can almost count on the pull from my office being too great. I'll probably go in. There are things that need to get done. Deadlines to meet.

I've decided though that what I need is a cruise. Who wants to go???

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

When Reality Hits...

I got our tickets for Haiti today. It's official. I'm finally going to do something I've felt called to for quite some time.

I can't believe it's really real!

check out the website! www.walkforhaiti.com

Monday, March 27, 2006

A Year Ago...

I think I have blogged alot about how much my life has changed in a year...but today I'm particularly reflective on that thought.

A year ago today was Easter Sunday. I love Easter Sunday. What an amazing celebration to have as we remember (and claim for ourselves) Christ's ressurection. Usually Easter for me is filled with waking up super early and worshipping at as many church services as you can imagine then going home with family to eat an amazing meal and enjoy some wonderful wine...and of course there are the pickled eggs that my family always tries to make me eat (I have only ever eaten one and that was becuase they paid me 40 dollars!)

But last Easter was different. My family couldn't come visit me becuase my Grandmother was very sick. So instead I went to church...called home a few times...and spent the day with the Greigs, the most amazing surroget family a girl could ask for. I had an amazing meal, even had a glass or two of wine...and played games with people I loved very much.

The next morning I woke to the sound of the doorbell. I went downstairs and it was John and Kim. They asked me to come over for breakfast...so I did. Of course when I got there my parents called to tell me that my grandmother had passed away in the night. While I was sleeping, my parents and brother were with my grandmother as she closed her eyes on this world and entered eternity with Jesus.

I still don't have the words to describe what I was feeling in that moment...sadness, hurt, joy, pain...guilt.

Of course I knew I had to go home...I had to be with my family. John, Kim, Becky and Amber were all there with me as I made the last minute preparations to get to St. Louis. The next night I sat around my kitchen table with Jacob, Gretal and my parents. I missed my grandma. I still miss her.

It's been a year. I still dream about her. I can still smell her on the things that once were her's, but now belong to me. I can still feel her hand squeezing my leg, saying she wished she had some of "that." I can still hear her telling me it's entirely too dangerous to do this or that. I imagine she'd be excited that the cardinals were into spring training. And I can still imagine her on the other end of the phone line telling me how proud she was of me...how much she loved me, and how I should keep praying.

I'm thankful that I had almost 25 years with her...

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

When you realize you're blessed...

So often it's easier to go through life taking things for granted, than it is to realize you're blessed. But lately my eyes have been opened to all the amazing blessings in my life. This past weekend was an opportunity for me to see God's goodness in my life in so many ways.

First of all I am serving in a church that encourages me in ministry. That is a huge blessing. As I was driving my youth to a gathering in Chicago I got to stay with my parents and see friends from St. Louis that love and support me in everything I do.

Then when I got to chicago, I ran into friends from all different stages of my life, childhood, high school, college, even some people that have the North Carolina connection. It was great. I have been blessed with some of the most amazing people in my life...my family and friends are a constant support and encouragement to me in all things.

But when I look at the people that are my friends, the people that are my influences in life, I can't help but swell with pride. I am so proud of my friends. They are all amazing people. They are so good and so talented. I am blessed.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Encouragement...

I have been crazy busy the past couple weeks. Today I leave for Chicago with my youth group. I am pretty excited because I get to stop and see my parents tonight...my whole youth group is staying at their house. : ) And I think I might get to see miss melissa while I'm in STL too, which would totally rock my face off. Then it's on to the Chicago Construction Zone, which I'm pretty excited about...not only am I looking forward to it because the event in VA Beach last year was cool but because the kids in my youth group have never experienced anything like this, which makes it cool...Plus I get to see Lindsey and Danielle. These girls are so encouraging to me in life and in ministry. They are strong for me when I can't be. The pray for me when I can't pray. They sing with me when I'm happy, and they listen to me ALWAYS. Knowing that I will see them soon makes me happy.

I'm feeling so good about life right now...and about what I do. This past week I found myself in a lot of conversations with church workers and leaders from many other traditions and it was encouraging. I am surrounded by people serving God. I had a converstation the other day with a guy starting a Christian Skate Park in a "city" near where I live. The town is highly unchurched and non-christian. I've planned a huge srevant event for the area. As we were sitting there talking about plans he said something like, "I am learning so much from you." that was encouraging and scary all at the same time. Encouraging because it means that I am on the right track with what I am doing...scary (not necessarily a bad scary) because it reminds me that people are watching what I do and it's an example.

I guess it's just encouraging to have people in my midst that get it...they get why I'm excited about ministry and they're excited about it too.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Can't help it...I love it

I don't know what it is about Jane Austen...but I do love her writing. I sometimes wish my favorite author was someone that would cause my friends to hold me in high esteem. For instance, maybe I could be a person who could discuss C.S. Lewis with the greatest of theologians and "church talkers." Or maybe I could talk about someone like Mike Yaconelli and all my youth leader friends would find me cool. I could say Poe, or Shakespeare and sound cool.

But for me...it's always Jane Austen. I don't care if I'm reading a novel of hers for the 1st or 100th time, I still can't put it down. It grips me. I love it...and afterwards life seems more beautiful. (lindsey...you may be the only person who understands this!)
March Madness...

For me, this month is always one of the craziest...and this year is no exception. Yesterday was a particularly stressful day for me full of meetings, church services, youth dinners, music rehearsals, and driving all over creation.

My mother was a voice of calm in my world. Why is it that you can always call your mom and she has a way of reminding you that you've been in this place before...you got through it...and you'll get through it again.

So momma if you reading this...thanks for being so cool...and for listening to me complain about the same things year after year! You're the best!

Monday, March 06, 2006

It's life...

I've been super busy lately, and I was starting to think that the only things I had to blog about where work things, and not so exiting or entertaining stories. And since I know there are some people who will be emailing me shortly telling me that I haven't updated my blog or provided them with the theraputic entertainment they seek from my sage like writing, I decided to take a few moments out of my crazy day to share some of my life.

First of all I just want to clear something up from a previous pot. I let you all know of my intentions of bringing back the legging look. Well the other day in the midst of complete chaos I was near one of our many outlet malls and decided to just look around for a bit of retail therapy. For some reason I walked into one of those stores that is filled with glitter and beads and marginally trendy super cheap crap. I asked the girl working behind the counter if they had leggings. She looked at me and told me no. I then told her of my plight to bring back the look and she looked at me (I could feel the judgement) and told me that that look was already in style and that EVERYONE was already wearing them. I think she may have been exagerating just a tad, but I must say I was a little sad to say that I am so OUT of style that I didn't even know leggings were back in...but I guess there are, according to the Lindsay Lohan wannabe behind the counter. So I'm on the lookout for a new fad to toss onto the fashion scene and be labled a trend setter! maybe I'll bring back wearing two pairs of socks with different colors and reebok high top tennish shoes!

On another note, this morning my phone rang at 5 am...and then again shortly after that. I was in my sleep coma and couldn't be persuaded from my bed to answer my phone at that time. Most people get worried when their phone rings at abnormal times like that, they think something is obviously wrong and someone has to get ahold of you right then...but I want to take you back to a few weeks ago in my life and let you know why that is not my first reaction any longer...

The phone is my bedroom sounds like the sirens declaring an oncoming atomic bomb. It's loud. I usually leave it off but for some reason it was turned back on. One night as I was enjoying my sleep, I was awakened by the screeching and squawking of my telephone. It was pitch black in my room and it took me a while to find the phone receiver. In my desperate attempt to make the awful noise stop I finally found the receiver and picked it up. "Hello" I say.......Silence....at this point I realize that no one has died and I can safely hang up the phone and go back to sleep. I closed my eyes and just as I was drifting back to sleep the horrible noise started again. This time I was quicker to find the phone. "Hello" I say again....this time I hear breathing..."Hello" I say a little louder....more breathing....it sounds strange, so I hang up the phone. This time I'm smart and turn off the ringer in my room...of course when I had just about fallen asleep again the phone rings (I hear it from the kitchen) so I roll over and pick up...ready to unleash my furry..."HELLO" I say...."Miss Rachel" this mousy voice comes back to me.....at this point I know exactly who it is...It's a little boy that I used to pick up and bring to church with his brother and sister here in town. I have no idea what time it is...I'm still a little out of sorts from the phone ringing so much....

"Mikey is that you?" I ask...

"Uh...Miss Rachel I was wondering if you could bring up to church on Sunday?" I'm so confused...why on earth is this 8 year old boy callingme in the middle of the night? So I say,

"Mikey...shouldn't you be in bed?" Then he starts whispering.

"No" he says. I can hear cartoons in the background.

"Mikey you need to get some sleep so you're ready for school in the morning" Really what I meant was that I needed to get some sleep. He does a whisper laugh and says,

"I'm already supposed to be dressed" in my mind it was the middle of the night....I would have guessed it was 3am...I thought he was just joking around with me so I told him to have his mom call me on Saturday if he wanted to go to church...and that was the end of the conversation. Then I went to check the clock...it was 6am...not really the middle of the night, but not really the best time for 8 year olds to be making leisurely phone calls.

So this morning when my phone rang at 5am I had a pretty good idea who it was...and I was right...little mikey calling me to ask me if I could take him to church.

so strange...and yet kind of endearing.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

My Eyeballs are Actually Burning...

In celebration of Mardi Gras, my roomates and I prepared luncheon feast of dirty rice and cajun sausage...had a glass of wine, and ate a truffle for desert. It was so good...but the food is not causing me to be a little on the sleepy side, and my body is telling me to take a nap, so much so that my eyes are burning...unfortunately there is this thing called Work that seems to be getting in the way of such a notion

Anyway....Happy Mardi Gras to you all

Laisser le bon rouleau de temps!!!!!!! Don't forget to have some pancakes for dinner.

Monday, February 27, 2006



Why Fashion is Fun...


So here's the deal everyone. I am totally going to bring back the legging look. I think the world has gone long enough with the absence of leggings and I think it's time for them to make their comeback...and I'm going to help.

I don't claim to be any type of trendsetter or even someone that other people think they should dress like...in fact i would probably more often find myself on the list of "what not to wear." But here's the thing...I don't dress so other people think it's cute. I dress because it makes me happy.

So here's to leggings and the first pair that are on their way to my house!

Thursday, February 23, 2006

What's wrong with this picture...

Three days ago I was sledding and listening to Christmas music (because you have to listen to Christmas music when it snows) and Today I am wearing a skirt and flip flops. Crazy Southern Missouri weather...

and just in case anyone was wondering...I'm in a really good mood today. I think it's the anticipation of American Idol and Figure Skating tonight wahoo!!!! : )

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

I wish I knew more...

Sometimes I wish I knew more about kids and the whole pyschological side of things. I wish I understood how kids develop. I wish I understood their needs better. I think it would help me help them more. I had a pretty "Leave it to Beaver" type of childhood. Yeah I did stupid crap, but my parents were always there to kind of tame my craziness. I never dealt with a lot of issues that kids that I come into contact with are dealing with.

I think there is a kid that I know who could probably use some counseling, but I don't know that there's anyone in the area that I would want to recommend them to, or if the guardians would be willing to do something like that. And I know I'm definitely not qualified to give any type of real counseling to anyone.

If anyone knows any type of resources that would help know where to direct people who need this kind of help...or any good books I could read that'd be awesome.

I just hate to see people struggle like this.

On a completely different note, I couldn't help but laugh at myself earlier today as i was reading a little bit today about fasting as a spiritual practice. I was getting pretty into it, and am seriously contemplating doing some sort of fasting and prayer time. The funny part was that as I was sitting there reading it i was also eating little miniature dove chocolate candies. I wonder how great of an idea it will feel like when I have gone two days without solid food...

Monday, February 20, 2006

The Church...

I don't know how exciting this will be to read, or if it will even make sense...but it's something I feel like I need to get out...so we'll see if writing it down makes me feel better.

I love the church (and by that I mean the Body of Christ.) I don't know when I developed such a love for it but I did. Maybe it's why I do what I do. But here's the deal...there are some things that happen within the church that sometimes make me sad, confused, and frustrated.

I know a church that is going trhough the Worship Style struggle right now. They are going through the process of trying to add a contemporary service and whether they are going about it eh right way or not, there are things happening that are hurting people in very big ways.

When I was in NC the church I was serving was going through the same struggle and I saw a huge rift divide the people of that congregation and almost everyone was hurt by decisions made. And here i am watching (from the sidelines) another church go through the same thing. The parallels in these two situations are amazing. It's almost like deja vu. I wish I had a magic wand that I could wave and make all the pain and hurt go away and help people get to the place they need to be, but I can't. (and I'm not sure how much good it would do anyway)

I agree that these are good conversations to have, but people get so wrapped up and lost within them. I sometimes wish people would put half much energy into spreading the Gospel to the lost as they did worrying about what song they want to sing on Sunday morning, what words "work best" for them during confession, and if they should kneel for communion or do "drive-thru" It's just so frustrating. I mean do you think God looks at his church and says, "YES! That's what I created you for."

ack...I'm too tired to write any more about this now...but it just saddens me to see the hurt in these struggles.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Fun, Fun, Fun...

So it snowed! I am usually not a lover of snow, but it's been a nice change to our winter of 70 degree days. Since it's so hilly here people don't get out and drive around a lot in the "weather" as they call it. Since there isn't a lot going on around town, I've pretty much speant the past couple days inside.

Yesterday we watched 4 movies and ate curry. It was way fun. Today I got up and went to church. EVen though there weren't too many people there I still had over 20 people at Bible Study. So that was fun. I came home and Laura Aaron and I started watching the Fellowship of the Ring. When the first disc finished we decided to go sledding...well I kinda talked them into going with me. since there were no sleds to be found we used a laundry basket and top to a tupperware container. A few bruises later clad in ripped pants, leg warmers and carring our now broken ghetto sleds we have now returned to sitting on the couch and watching movies. It's been great. It's so fun to sit around and do nothing, but it's even more fun to have the Rooses here with me to enjoy the nothingness.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

check it out...

I'm going to Haiti this summer on a mission trip and if you want to help support it, or find out more info you can log onto our mission team's web site

www.walkforhaiti.com

Team bios should mostly be up by now!
Being The Minority...

Holy Smokes...it's been 10 days since I blogged. And since my dear friend Carrie has told me that I am letting her down by not writing...here goes.

As to the title of this blog. I know that I don't get a lot of opportunities to experience being a minority. I'm a middle class American white girl who works in a middle class Lutheran church full of white people...which means that most of my days are spent with middle class american white people. But in the past week I have had two experiences where I was in the minority, and it was great.

Last wednesday was my dear Heidi's 21st birthday. For those of you who don't know, Heidi was a foreign exchange student from Germany who lived with my parents for a year while I was in college. She has since moved back to America and is going to college here. So anyway I made the 5 hour drive north for her 21st. Many of her friends gathered together in her dorm room and then we went out for dinner where I was told by many of the young whipper snappers that I was an old lady at my age...I'm 25 people!!! This is when I first experienced being in the minority that evening. I was the only one who could rent a car without being penalized! I wanted to tell them that soon they too would be 25 and old and realize that it's not so bad! Then after dinner there seemed to be a mass exodus so they could all go study. I told Heidi that was no way to spend her 21st birthday and that we had to at least stay out a little longer. I've never been on a college campus where so many people actually studied. It was weird. So Heidi and I went out by ourselves and enjoyed spending a little time together. We were sitting at a bar and the door opened and I heard a girl say, "HEIDI!" There were three college students standing there and after my explaining that it was my german sister's birthday, She introduced me to her friends...all from different countries. Apparently it's only the non-americans who can go out on school nights in Kirksville! So here I am for the second time in the evening, a minority...only this time it's because I was surrounded by (even younger) non-americans. And let me tell you. It was fun. They were funny people and we laughed and talked and closed down the joint. Needless to say I had a pretty good time with people that didn't exactly fit into my demographic!

Then the tables were turned. After I left Kirksville MO, I headed south to the Lake of the Ozarks for the LCMS Missouri District Convention. When I walked in to register, they asked me if I was one of the youth delegates! AHahaHA. I mean I'm not exactly old, but I don't think I necessarily look like a high school student either. I went from being one of the oldest people at a gathering to one of the youngest. Anyway it was good. the conference was great, and if I had time I would talk about the awesome essayist that was there...well at least I liked him, but unfortunately I have to work, so for now I'm signing off!