Day off...

This is probably the thing I struggle with the most in church work. I know I'm supposed to take a day off, but I rarely do it...

I don't know why, but there times when I get busy...we all know what that's like. But for some reason I can't pull myself away from the office. Two weekends ago I was in Chicago with my Sr. High. Last weekend we had a big youth fundraiser. This weekend I'm taking the Jr. Highers to camp. And in the middle...there's been no downtime.

And last night in the midst of Lenten Mid-week chaos...I realized I was tired. And I needed a day off. Knowing that I wouldn't take Friday (my "usual" day) I decided today would be the day.

But I know I'm just a little bit of a poser. Becuase here I sit at 10am still at home...but only becuase Aaron has my car up and is changing the oil. I can't go anywhere. But as soon as that car is ready to go...I can almost count on the pull from my office being too great. I'll probably go in. There are things that need to get done. Deadlines to meet.

I've decided though that what I need is a cruise. Who wants to go???

When Reality Hits...

I got our tickets for Haiti today. It's official. I'm finally going to do something I've felt called to for quite some time.

I can't believe it's really real!

check out the website! www.walkforhaiti.com

A Year Ago...

I think I have blogged alot about how much my life has changed in a year...but today I'm particularly reflective on that thought.

A year ago today was Easter Sunday. I love Easter Sunday. What an amazing celebration to have as we remember (and claim for ourselves) Christ's ressurection. Usually Easter for me is filled with waking up super early and worshipping at as many church services as you can imagine then going home with family to eat an amazing meal and enjoy some wonderful wine...and of course there are the pickled eggs that my family always tries to make me eat (I have only ever eaten one and that was becuase they paid me 40 dollars!)

But last Easter was different. My family couldn't come visit me becuase my Grandmother was very sick. So instead I went to church...called home a few times...and spent the day with the Greigs, the most amazing surroget family a girl could ask for. I had an amazing meal, even had a glass or two of wine...and played games with people I loved very much.

The next morning I woke to the sound of the doorbell. I went downstairs and it was John and Kim. They asked me to come over for breakfast...so I did. Of course when I got there my parents called to tell me that my grandmother had passed away in the night. While I was sleeping, my parents and brother were with my grandmother as she closed her eyes on this world and entered eternity with Jesus.

I still don't have the words to describe what I was feeling in that moment...sadness, hurt, joy, pain...guilt.

Of course I knew I had to go home...I had to be with my family. John, Kim, Becky and Amber were all there with me as I made the last minute preparations to get to St. Louis. The next night I sat around my kitchen table with Jacob, Gretal and my parents. I missed my grandma. I still miss her.

It's been a year. I still dream about her. I can still smell her on the things that once were her's, but now belong to me. I can still feel her hand squeezing my leg, saying she wished she had some of "that." I can still hear her telling me it's entirely too dangerous to do this or that. I imagine she'd be excited that the cardinals were into spring training. And I can still imagine her on the other end of the phone line telling me how proud she was of me...how much she loved me, and how I should keep praying.

I'm thankful that I had almost 25 years with her...

When you realize you're blessed...

So often it's easier to go through life taking things for granted, than it is to realize you're blessed. But lately my eyes have been opened to all the amazing blessings in my life. This past weekend was an opportunity for me to see God's goodness in my life in so many ways.

First of all I am serving in a church that encourages me in ministry. That is a huge blessing. As I was driving my youth to a gathering in Chicago I got to stay with my parents and see friends from St. Louis that love and support me in everything I do.

Then when I got to chicago, I ran into friends from all different stages of my life, childhood, high school, college, even some people that have the North Carolina connection. It was great. I have been blessed with some of the most amazing people in my life...my family and friends are a constant support and encouragement to me in all things.

But when I look at the people that are my friends, the people that are my influences in life, I can't help but swell with pride. I am so proud of my friends. They are all amazing people. They are so good and so talented. I am blessed.

Encouragement...

I have been crazy busy the past couple weeks. Today I leave for Chicago with my youth group. I am pretty excited because I get to stop and see my parents tonight...my whole youth group is staying at their house. : ) And I think I might get to see miss melissa while I'm in STL too, which would totally rock my face off. Then it's on to the Chicago Construction Zone, which I'm pretty excited about...not only am I looking forward to it because the event in VA Beach last year was cool but because the kids in my youth group have never experienced anything like this, which makes it cool...Plus I get to see Lindsey and Danielle. These girls are so encouraging to me in life and in ministry. They are strong for me when I can't be. The pray for me when I can't pray. They sing with me when I'm happy, and they listen to me ALWAYS. Knowing that I will see them soon makes me happy.

I'm feeling so good about life right now...and about what I do. This past week I found myself in a lot of conversations with church workers and leaders from many other traditions and it was encouraging. I am surrounded by people serving God. I had a converstation the other day with a guy starting a Christian Skate Park in a "city" near where I live. The town is highly unchurched and non-christian. I've planned a huge srevant event for the area. As we were sitting there talking about plans he said something like, "I am learning so much from you." that was encouraging and scary all at the same time. Encouraging because it means that I am on the right track with what I am doing...scary (not necessarily a bad scary) because it reminds me that people are watching what I do and it's an example.

I guess it's just encouraging to have people in my midst that get it...they get why I'm excited about ministry and they're excited about it too.

Can't help it...I love it

I don't know what it is about Jane Austen...but I do love her writing. I sometimes wish my favorite author was someone that would cause my friends to hold me in high esteem. For instance, maybe I could be a person who could discuss C.S. Lewis with the greatest of theologians and "church talkers." Or maybe I could talk about someone like Mike Yaconelli and all my youth leader friends would find me cool. I could say Poe, or Shakespeare and sound cool.

But for me...it's always Jane Austen. I don't care if I'm reading a novel of hers for the 1st or 100th time, I still can't put it down. It grips me. I love it...and afterwards life seems more beautiful. (lindsey...you may be the only person who understands this!)

March Madness...

For me, this month is always one of the craziest...and this year is no exception. Yesterday was a particularly stressful day for me full of meetings, church services, youth dinners, music rehearsals, and driving all over creation.

My mother was a voice of calm in my world. Why is it that you can always call your mom and she has a way of reminding you that you've been in this place before...you got through it...and you'll get through it again.

So momma if you reading this...thanks for being so cool...and for listening to me complain about the same things year after year! You're the best!

It's life...

I've been super busy lately, and I was starting to think that the only things I had to blog about where work things, and not so exiting or entertaining stories. And since I know there are some people who will be emailing me shortly telling me that I haven't updated my blog or provided them with the theraputic entertainment they seek from my sage like writing, I decided to take a few moments out of my crazy day to share some of my life.

First of all I just want to clear something up from a previous pot. I let you all know of my intentions of bringing back the legging look. Well the other day in the midst of complete chaos I was near one of our many outlet malls and decided to just look around for a bit of retail therapy. For some reason I walked into one of those stores that is filled with glitter and beads and marginally trendy super cheap crap. I asked the girl working behind the counter if they had leggings. She looked at me and told me no. I then told her of my plight to bring back the look and she looked at me (I could feel the judgement) and told me that that look was already in style and that EVERYONE was already wearing them. I think she may have been exagerating just a tad, but I must say I was a little sad to say that I am so OUT of style that I didn't even know leggings were back in...but I guess there are, according to the Lindsay Lohan wannabe behind the counter. So I'm on the lookout for a new fad to toss onto the fashion scene and be labled a trend setter! maybe I'll bring back wearing two pairs of socks with different colors and reebok high top tennish shoes!

On another note, this morning my phone rang at 5 am...and then again shortly after that. I was in my sleep coma and couldn't be persuaded from my bed to answer my phone at that time. Most people get worried when their phone rings at abnormal times like that, they think something is obviously wrong and someone has to get ahold of you right then...but I want to take you back to a few weeks ago in my life and let you know why that is not my first reaction any longer...

The phone is my bedroom sounds like the sirens declaring an oncoming atomic bomb. It's loud. I usually leave it off but for some reason it was turned back on. One night as I was enjoying my sleep, I was awakened by the screeching and squawking of my telephone. It was pitch black in my room and it took me a while to find the phone receiver. In my desperate attempt to make the awful noise stop I finally found the receiver and picked it up. "Hello" I say.......Silence....at this point I realize that no one has died and I can safely hang up the phone and go back to sleep. I closed my eyes and just as I was drifting back to sleep the horrible noise started again. This time I was quicker to find the phone. "Hello" I say again....this time I hear breathing..."Hello" I say a little louder....more breathing....it sounds strange, so I hang up the phone. This time I'm smart and turn off the ringer in my room...of course when I had just about fallen asleep again the phone rings (I hear it from the kitchen) so I roll over and pick up...ready to unleash my furry..."HELLO" I say...."Miss Rachel" this mousy voice comes back to me.....at this point I know exactly who it is...It's a little boy that I used to pick up and bring to church with his brother and sister here in town. I have no idea what time it is...I'm still a little out of sorts from the phone ringing so much....

"Mikey is that you?" I ask...

"Uh...Miss Rachel I was wondering if you could bring up to church on Sunday?" I'm so confused...why on earth is this 8 year old boy callingme in the middle of the night? So I say,

"Mikey...shouldn't you be in bed?" Then he starts whispering.

"No" he says. I can hear cartoons in the background.

"Mikey you need to get some sleep so you're ready for school in the morning" Really what I meant was that I needed to get some sleep. He does a whisper laugh and says,

"I'm already supposed to be dressed" in my mind it was the middle of the night....I would have guessed it was 3am...I thought he was just joking around with me so I told him to have his mom call me on Saturday if he wanted to go to church...and that was the end of the conversation. Then I went to check the clock...it was 6am...not really the middle of the night, but not really the best time for 8 year olds to be making leisurely phone calls.

So this morning when my phone rang at 5am I had a pretty good idea who it was...and I was right...little mikey calling me to ask me if I could take him to church.

so strange...and yet kind of endearing.