Slightly Irrational...

So last night when I blogged I was slighly irrational...sometimes that happens to me after a long day. Today I am better. In the light of day I can accomplish many things and I've actually been rather productive today. I've gotten a lot done and there's still much to be done...but it will happen when it happens, and I'm not going to stress about it!

I have my donation bags packed and I've managed to figure out a way to NOT have to be at the meeting tomorrow night. So that's a huge plus...now I have about 24 hours before I get in the car and head to St. Louis to prepare to leave for Haiti. I am so excited.

God taught me so much last year through my trip there, and I know that things will be different this year, but I cannot wait to get back to serve and spend time with people who have taken up residence in my heart.

Overwhelmed, Overjoyed...

I'm starting to see this as a bit of a theme in my blogs...or at least a theme in the blogs that I start and never finish. I am sitting in bed, typing my report for the Elder's meeting this Thursday and I am overcome for the gazillionth time today with a complete sense of being overwhelmed. I just don't get how I can do it all...and maybe that's the thing...I can't do it all. The past few weeks have been chaotic, pouring into students, leading them in Bible studies, training seminars, and trying to have quality time with them. Then I have my adult Bible studies because people don't think I "care" about older people (ridiculous I might add) and that I don't spend enough time with them. I love the Bible studies...but lately I've been bending over backwards to make sure I make appearances at more meetings, and other activities so that I can "please" everyone. I'm trying to rally the leadership of our congregation around the idea that we are in some serious need of mission, vision, and planning...there's a building project on the way, our pastor is retiring, and those aren't the only changes on the horizon. I have my mission group that I meet with that is incredibly exciting, but then I think of all the potential for future ministry and feel so alone in the effort that I don't know what to do. I have youth trips to plan, outreach visions to coherently put into words, service projects for thrivent, evangelism meeting notes to make, and to top it all off I leave the country in 3 days and I haven't even begun to think about what I'm going to bring with me. That's just the "work" side of my life.

I'm trying to see my friends, and maintain relationships with a few people, exercise more, eat healthier, not bite my fingernails (which by the way I am an utter failure at lately), give my dog the attention she needs, keep my house clean, and the list goes on and on...

The only conclusion I can come to is that the people in this world who claim to have it "all together" are just lying to the rest of us.

Tomorrow is wednesday...it's Lent, so that means it will be a crazy filled day. I still have to pack for my mission trip...and then Thursday morning I have to be at the middle school at 7am (which I love doing but I may have to cancel this week) and then I'm supposed to be at a meeting at 7pm that evening get done at nine, pick up my dog, drive the 4 hours to STL, sleep for 3 hours and get to the aiport in time to catch my flight way stinking early the next morning. I guess it's my fault for planning so many things on top of each other...(although to be fair, I'd rather be chaotic than bored)...but seriously sometimes something has to give. I feel like bowing out of the meeting, but they're talking about serious stuff, and my ideas are all over the agenda...maybe I need to suck it up and tell them they don't need me for it, which in reality they don't...but my ego tells me that things would go "right" if I was there...but if I do that...ah...I guess it doesn't matter. I just needed to vent.

On the other side of things, I'm about to go to a place that I love dearly and see people that I have been missing for almost a year. Pray for me while I'm gone. I can't wait to see Haiti again.

Also...

Tomorrow I am fasting for the first time. I am fasting because a dear friend has an 18 year old boy in her church who is undergoing brain surgery tomorrow. His name is Spenser. I don't know him, but he seems like an outstanding, extraordinary young man.

Please pray for him, that the sugery would go well, and that his eye sight and personality will remain intact.

I don't...

I dont't talk to my brother enough. I love talking to my brother. When we talk, we don't talk about much...over the phone that is. We don't see each other too often...and we don't talk all that often...but I love my brother. I like just hearing what's going on in his world. I think we are so much alike, and so different at the same time. It's weird...and I don't know how to explain it, but I just talked to him, and I left the conversation knowing that I wish I talked to him more.

I guess I have to give props to my parents for raising us the way they did. I'm not sure how they managed to make sure that two kids so close in age ended up liking each other. I'm only guessing that my brother likes me as much as I like him.

he's my big brother...and I look up to him.

I guess that's all I have to say about that.

I'm a baller...

I posted this on my myspace, but I wanted to put it here, because I thought it was pretty funny...

On Mondays I have Bible study at the junior high school with a group of girls. Today one of the girls I had to take home wandered into the gym where some kids were playing basketball, so I joined in with them. I shot a couple shots and made them and this little girl looks up at me and says, "Wow...you should play on our team" and I said, "I think I'm a little old for that." Then she said, "Well you should play on the high school team." And I said, "I think I'm a little old for that too." She looked at me looking all confused and said, "How old are you?" and I told her I was 26....she looked at me and says, "You totally look 19." Ha....only a 12 year old would think I was good at basketball...I loved it. And I'm pretty sure 19 is too old to play on the high school basketball team too. I did get to whip up on some kids that were trying to show off though.
So there you have it...Rachel's my name, and schooling little kids on the basketball court is my game.