The Church...

I don't know how exciting this will be to read, or if it will even make sense...but it's something I feel like I need to get out...so we'll see if writing it down makes me feel better.

I love the church (and by that I mean the Body of Christ.) I don't know when I developed such a love for it but I did. Maybe it's why I do what I do. But here's the deal...there are some things that happen within the church that sometimes make me sad, confused, and frustrated.

I know a church that is going trhough the Worship Style struggle right now. They are going through the process of trying to add a contemporary service and whether they are going about it eh right way or not, there are things happening that are hurting people in very big ways.

When I was in NC the church I was serving was going through the same struggle and I saw a huge rift divide the people of that congregation and almost everyone was hurt by decisions made. And here i am watching (from the sidelines) another church go through the same thing. The parallels in these two situations are amazing. It's almost like deja vu. I wish I had a magic wand that I could wave and make all the pain and hurt go away and help people get to the place they need to be, but I can't. (and I'm not sure how much good it would do anyway)

I agree that these are good conversations to have, but people get so wrapped up and lost within them. I sometimes wish people would put half much energy into spreading the Gospel to the lost as they did worrying about what song they want to sing on Sunday morning, what words "work best" for them during confession, and if they should kneel for communion or do "drive-thru" It's just so frustrating. I mean do you think God looks at his church and says, "YES! That's what I created you for."

ack...I'm too tired to write any more about this now...but it just saddens me to see the hurt in these struggles.

Fun, Fun, Fun...

So it snowed! I am usually not a lover of snow, but it's been a nice change to our winter of 70 degree days. Since it's so hilly here people don't get out and drive around a lot in the "weather" as they call it. Since there isn't a lot going on around town, I've pretty much speant the past couple days inside.

Yesterday we watched 4 movies and ate curry. It was way fun. Today I got up and went to church. EVen though there weren't too many people there I still had over 20 people at Bible Study. So that was fun. I came home and Laura Aaron and I started watching the Fellowship of the Ring. When the first disc finished we decided to go sledding...well I kinda talked them into going with me. since there were no sleds to be found we used a laundry basket and top to a tupperware container. A few bruises later clad in ripped pants, leg warmers and carring our now broken ghetto sleds we have now returned to sitting on the couch and watching movies. It's been great. It's so fun to sit around and do nothing, but it's even more fun to have the Rooses here with me to enjoy the nothingness.

check it out...

I'm going to Haiti this summer on a mission trip and if you want to help support it, or find out more info you can log onto our mission team's web site

www.walkforhaiti.com

Team bios should mostly be up by now!

Being The Minority...

Holy Smokes...it's been 10 days since I blogged. And since my dear friend Carrie has told me that I am letting her down by not writing...here goes.

As to the title of this blog. I know that I don't get a lot of opportunities to experience being a minority. I'm a middle class American white girl who works in a middle class Lutheran church full of white people...which means that most of my days are spent with middle class american white people. But in the past week I have had two experiences where I was in the minority, and it was great.

Last wednesday was my dear Heidi's 21st birthday. For those of you who don't know, Heidi was a foreign exchange student from Germany who lived with my parents for a year while I was in college. She has since moved back to America and is going to college here. So anyway I made the 5 hour drive north for her 21st. Many of her friends gathered together in her dorm room and then we went out for dinner where I was told by many of the young whipper snappers that I was an old lady at my age...I'm 25 people!!! This is when I first experienced being in the minority that evening. I was the only one who could rent a car without being penalized! I wanted to tell them that soon they too would be 25 and old and realize that it's not so bad! Then after dinner there seemed to be a mass exodus so they could all go study. I told Heidi that was no way to spend her 21st birthday and that we had to at least stay out a little longer. I've never been on a college campus where so many people actually studied. It was weird. So Heidi and I went out by ourselves and enjoyed spending a little time together. We were sitting at a bar and the door opened and I heard a girl say, "HEIDI!" There were three college students standing there and after my explaining that it was my german sister's birthday, She introduced me to her friends...all from different countries. Apparently it's only the non-americans who can go out on school nights in Kirksville! So here I am for the second time in the evening, a minority...only this time it's because I was surrounded by (even younger) non-americans. And let me tell you. It was fun. They were funny people and we laughed and talked and closed down the joint. Needless to say I had a pretty good time with people that didn't exactly fit into my demographic!

Then the tables were turned. After I left Kirksville MO, I headed south to the Lake of the Ozarks for the LCMS Missouri District Convention. When I walked in to register, they asked me if I was one of the youth delegates! AHahaHA. I mean I'm not exactly old, but I don't think I necessarily look like a high school student either. I went from being one of the oldest people at a gathering to one of the youngest. Anyway it was good. the conference was great, and if I had time I would talk about the awesome essayist that was there...well at least I liked him, but unfortunately I have to work, so for now I'm signing off!

If you feel so inclined...

Today a very close friend of mine told me that her mom was diagnosed with cancer this week. I love this family a lot and I'm wishing I knew how I could be a better friend to her at this time...but I'm so far away. Please pray for my friend and her mom and her family. We know that God can work out amazing miracles...and I'm bold to ask for that right now.

Apples To Apples...

So last night was game night at my house. I'll admit that I'm a little on the nerdy side and get pretty exicted about things as simple as game night. Last night there were 8 of us gathered in my front room enjoying a little social activity. Someone brough Apples to Apples. I had heard alot about this game and was actually looking forward to playing it. When the game first came out the only person I heard promoting it was Delilah and I thought maybe the game would be really lame...but everyone kept saying how fun it was. And seriously...it was fun. I highly recommend giving it a go!

Today Laura and Aaron and I cleaned out my garage. Wow...my world is becomming more and more organized, which I will admit is a little strange for me. I'm used to chaos and disaster...I can function in the midst of it...but I do have to say that this organization thing isn't too bad of an idea either. I just hope it lasts...

So here I sit on a Saturday afternoon...tired from not enough sleep and a lot of work this morning...here on my couch, watching aaron play nintendo, laura is knitting, and I'm trying my hardest to stay awake and not procrastinate any longer on the Bible Study I have to get done for tomorrow morning...

Pure Joy!

My computer is fixed. (and yes I am that attached to my machine that having it fixed can create a feeling of pure joy in my life!) After trying everything I could try, and trying it again I gave in a took the silly computer in. This morning I dropped it off with my favorite techies. I thought I'd be without for a couple days.

Two hours later the phone rings and the computer is fixed and ready to be picked up. So I gladly grab my keys and make the drive to pick up my machine. When I got there I asked the guy what was wrong with it. He said he wasn't sure because all they had to do was restart the machine. He asked me when the last time I had done that was...I reminded him that we had done it at least twice when I was in the shop yesterday and informed him of the 5 or 6 times I had done it later in the night hoping to see a change. He shrugged his shoulders and gave me the bag.

So I'm giving myself the credit for this one...all of the virus scan and spyware detectors that I ran last night must have given them the hands up that they needed to finish the job...kind of like opening a jar. You know the ones that you get that are really hard to open and you try and try until you finally give up and hand it over to the person standing in the kitchen with you and after they barely touch a finger to it, it pops open and you respond with the inevitable "I loosened it for you!" I like to think that's what I did for the computer guys. I think they knew it too...because they didn't charge me. And that my friends is a beautiful thing!

I give...

So today my computer decided to start doing something freakishly weird. The only website it won't let me in to is my gmail account. I can get into my gmail...just not on my machine. I tried running a virus scan and everything came up clean. Then I thought maybe I had some cookies that were clogging things up so I went in and cleaned up all my disk space. I condensed my files...I defragged the computer. I downloaded 3 spyware programs. And all of this has helped me none. I decided it was time to call in the big guns so I called up to the local computer store where I got my computer. They tried to tell me over the phone to do all of these things that I had already done...so they told me to come on up. Of course when I drove up towards the building there were about 6 police cars, a fire truck...and an ambulance. Apparently there had been an accident and I wasn't even able to get into the parking lot...so I had to drive around for 30 minutes...only to get to the computer store and sit there for an hour while they tried to figure out what was wrong. Unfortunately they still don't know what the problem is, so I have to drop off the machine for them tomorrow...which means money. I'm not feeling so excited about that. But we'll see. So if anyone has had just one internet site not open on your computer and you have words of wisdom for me so I don't have to spend money tomorrow...I would really appreciate it. I've done all I can do.

Yay....Pictures to Share!!!!

Let the Freak Show Begin...

I had a great weekend. This weekend was the St. Louis youth gathering for Jr. highers. It was an event I had been looking forward to for quite some time. My best friend was speaking. Jacob's Road was the band, which meant not only was there going to be amazing times of worship...but I would get to see Carrie...who totally rocks my face off. I knew some of the area youth leaders bringing their kids...Laura and Aaron were going to speak...and my group was being chaperoned by Aubrey and I. I was going to be surrounded by so many cool people I could hardly stand it.

Things were looking good (except for the fact that I had a couple kids drop out because of illness the day before we left.) Friday morning I picked up the 12 passenger van and drove it over to church. Me driving a 12 passenger van is in itself an event to laugh at. Not to worry...I'm an excellent driver. We loaded up the van and headed to STL. The trip was pretty uneventful. We arrived at the hotel and I got to see friends that I love so dearly...but I also had 4 Jr. highers waiting for me to take them downtown and show them the city. So we went to the arch and saw the new stadium. Things were going great until we got out of the van at the restaurant we were going to eat dinner at and one of my girls told me there was a flat tire on the van. Dangit. So I call the rental agency and they send someone over to fix the tire, only we're in a very crowded parking lot and the simple tire change turns into a major production...at which point my mother saves the day and picks up my youth and brings them to the gathering so they don't miss the beginning.

When I finally arrived at the gathering that night, I felt good...like things were under control...until I realized I hadn't medicated my youth that needed to be medicated. eek. So I had to run to find the appropriate meds and bring them down. The only problem with that is that one of the kids medicine totally knocked him out and he slept through most of the first evening. But we got that all straightened out the next night. It's a good thing I only had 4 to look after this weekend. It was the most stress free gathering I have ever been at. It's not that I didn't have moments of stress...it's just that it was WAY less than any I had ever been on before...probably because there were only 4 kids to keep track of. It was fun to see the kids kind of have mini transformations over the weekend.

Saturday night was Crazy Dress night at the gathering and in preparation for the dance that was about to go down...Aubrey and I pulled out a bag of freak show attire and got the kids, and ourselves ready to impress with our craziness.

It was at this point of the weekend that I realized I really am quite the freak show. With Danielle and Laura to encourage and support me in my freak showness, I think there were moments when it just all came out...crazy...but Danielle said something to me that night that made me realize why it's so good to have friends like that...she said something about making sense when we were together. Like most people look at us like we're weird (probably because we are) but when we're together, it just makes more sense...because we're weird together. It makes me happy to have friends that you can just let the Freak Show out with. It's good stuff people...you should try it.

Hello High Speed Internet!

Well I just want everyone to know that I am no longer a prisoner to dial up internet...I have had to use dial up, really slow dial up, since I moved away from North Carolina. Today the cable man came and hooked up the high speed internet service. Very exciting! : )

This weekend I am taking my jr. high youth to STL for a gathering. It should be fun!!!

Jealousy

I'm not usually the type of person to be jealous...really jealous. I like me...I like my life...I don't want to really to be other people or have their stuff. But this morning I am jealous of someone I hardly know...for a very stupid reason. It's an evil thing isn't it. It makes me dislike this person even though I don't know them. It makes me a worse version of myself. The scariest thing about jealousy is that sometimes you can't even see it...for me it's all internal. I could keep it inside me and hide it. Fortunately I see the immaturity and stupidness of this and am going to do my best to let it go and be happy with my life, because I am...it's just right now there is small place where the the grass is greener in someone else's yard...not the whole yard...just a patch.

On a different note. Laura and Aaron moved in with me yesterday. I'm so happy about it. I love them. I love how they make me laugh and remind me that life is to be enjoyed. And there's nothing like going to the grocery store and cooking with these two. The first thing laura did when she got to my house was rearrange the kitchen. These people have a passion for food and food preparation! So now my kitchen actually makes sense and I have more than just old cool whip and beer in my refrigerator! They're wonderful people and I hope all of you can have friends like Laura and Aaron in your life!

The Learning Channel...

Wow...usually I tune into this channel to watch things such as, What not to wear. As I was flipping through my gazillion channels last night, I was intrigued by a commericial that popped up on TLC advertising their upcoming programs. The one that caught my attention was, "The Story of the 627 pound woman" Ok so I admit I was sucked in. I sat on the couch for an hour watching the story of this very large woman and her gastric bypass surgery. She was still very large afterwards but she lost a ton of weight. It was crazy...If that wasn't bizarre enough after that came the story of the half ton man. That's right ladies and gentlemen. This man weighed 1000 pounds. Let's just say these shows were enough to make me stay away from Mc. Donalds for a while. wow. I mean what would it be like to weigh 1000 pounds. So at this point of the evening I had spent two hours watching shows about insanely obese individuals, but it was the next special that was really interesting. It was about this weird pregnancy. One woman had become pregnant and gone to the hospital with severe, what she thought were, labor pains. They said she couldn't deliver normally so they'd have to do surgery...but she heard a woman next to her in the hospital screaming in childbirth pains and saw her die so she just got up and left...a little later the pains went away. GEt this...46 years later she starts having pains again...goes back to the hospital...turns out that the baby died inside of her and her body made a protective calcified layer around it and it had been inside her for all those years. So then they did surgery and took out the calcified baby...WEIRD.

Basically I watched a whole bunch of weirdness on television last night. But it's pretty amazing how our bodies function...that's for sure...thanks to the learning channel I now know that a stomach can become large enough to hold over 3 liters of stuff...and that if a baby were to die inside of me it's possible that my body could produce a calcium protective cover around it so I wouldn't get infection.

*sigh*

What can I say...everything about last night made me happy.

The Revival of Tae Bo Tuesday (thanks aubrey!)

Big glass of wine

2 Hours of American Idol

Talking to Kim G. on the phone

what a way to end the day!

What does this mean???

No, I'm not getting ready to go all "catechism" on you. But if anyone out there is in the business of interpretting dreams, I would love it it you could tell me what this means...

As I closed my eyes to sleep last night, I found it hard to actually fall asleep, and then when I finally did, there were a whole lot of messed up things going on in my dreams. Since I can't remember it all I will just recount a small portion of it that I think sums up the entire strangeness of it. At one point in my dream I ended up in some kind of river, not a small shallow river, but a big one, and as I was going through the water I turned into a fish, I mean totally into a fish, and then there was this bigger fish with big teeth that was trying to eat me. I remember it trying to bite me and then I swam under the water (Because until this point we'd both been on the surface which is strange for fish to swim on the surface like that) When I swam under the water everything turned into a cartoon. I was now a cartoon fish and the big fish was still there and I was trying to swim behind it and bit it, even though I was WAY smaller. Well then we chased each other around and finally we came upon this under water ancient world. But the ancient world wasn't cartoon, just the water and us. But then the big fish turned into a person (a cartoon one) and was walking on the ground of the ocean, and then I turned into a cartoon person. And for some reason I knew something was wrong. Then the person and I were on the same side for a moment...and I walked into one of the ancient rooms and I was a real person again, and there was no more water...and some how I was a part of this community that was ready to blow up...and then I had to ride a ten speed bike across mountains to get somewhere to save someone but after that it's all pretty blurry for me any more.

is this weird. is there something wrong with my brain. I mean who turns into cartoon fish in their dreams.

Would the Real Rick Beck Please Stand Up...

Seriously...if I could find this man I would take off my shoe and do some damage. At 8am the phone rang this morning. I could almost anticipate how the conversation would go because this call surely wasn't for me. No one who knows me would call me at 8am.

I pick up the phone. "Hello" I say.

"Would the owner of (insert something here, I would write it but I couldn't understand the man due to the fact that his English was not spectacular) be home."

I say, "Excuse me."

He repeats his question and then says, "Rick Beck. Is he home."

I silently pat myself on the back for having figured out (before ever answering the phone, or looking at the caller id) that it would be for this man who has be the cause of great consternation in my world the past few months. I, very sweetly, tell the man that this is not Rick Beck's phone number, nor does he live here. I have never met the man and don't think I will be meeting him any time in the near future. He seems confused. I'm not sure what's so confusing. I felt like I was very clear in my statements, but he doesn't give up easily. He asks me, "Is this your phone number."

"Uuhhhmm, yeah."

At this he asks me how long I've had the phone number. I tell him for almost 6 months.

"Interesting," he says.

I don't know how interesting it is, but I decide to go with it. He tells me that on December 23rd they had a phone call from Mr. Beck from this phone number. I tell him that no one could have called him from my number because I am the only one who uses it and I didn't call him. Then, being the incredibly intelligent person that I am, ask him,

"When Mr. Beck called you did he tell you this was his number, or do you have a machine that registers the actual numbers that incoming calls are coming from?"

And he tells me that the only numbers they have are the ones that people give them. So there ya have it folks. There is a man out there by the name of Rick Beck who once had my phone number, no longer has it, but continues to call creditors and tell them that my number is his number and I get all the harassing bill collector calls. Great. Just what I needed.

It was inevitable...

My favorite children's book begins, "The time has come, the time is now." If you can name that book I'll give you a gold star. Anyway apparently the time has come for winter here in good old Southern Missouri. Yesterday I was gloating in the fact that it has been so warm. Seriously...since Christmas it's been between 55 and 70 degrees. That seems a little strange for me...even after living in North Carolina for a few years where the weather is more mild than good old STL and certainly warmer than Minnesota! But still 70 degrees in January.

Well last night during our first voter's meeting of 2006 our handy dandy weather radar radio starting going off; telling us that severe weather was on its way to our area. So we start the meeting anyway and wait to hear the radio beep to warn us of anything that was particularly going to hit our area. The funny thing is that for Christmas my mom gave me this key finder that I put on my key ring so that when I can't find it all I have to do is whistle and it beeps to tell me where my keys are (pretty cool if you ask me!) Sometimes though loud noises will set it off, and last night was no exception. Someone made a comment that made everyone laugh (for the purposes of my story here we'll say it was me because then you will all think I am funnier than I am...sneaky of me isn't it) Well the laughter caused my keys to beep which caused everyone to be silent and about 5 people to stand up and run to the weather radio. At this point I start laughing because I know it's just my keys...which set them off again...which really started to through people in a panic. Of course they didn't believe when I said it was my keys going off...they were sure our church was going to get blown off of the top of our hill with some crazy tornado or something.

But to give them some credit there was severe weather all over our area last night. It hailed, and it was LOUD. I looked out my back window and there was about an inch and a half of hail the size of quarters. It made me so happy I had a garage! But today it is cold. It's in the 30s which feels a little more like winter.

and lindsey this is for you....I kind of wish it would snow. I know, I know...I hate snow. But I want it to snow just once enough for me to go sledding. Anyway I guess it's time to say hello to winter.

In Desperate Need...

I am in DESPERATE need of a pedicure. Seriously, my feet look awful. This is a truth that has escaped me until this point because, well, I don't really pay that much attention to my feet. I'm sitting here at my desk and I'm having a particularly stressful morning. Budget stuff=frustrating. My desk broke=frustrating. Trying to get all my junk in order for 2006=frustrating. Can't find cords for the archaic printer that's in my office=frustrating. So anyway I'm sitting here and I glanced down at my flip-flop covered feet (yeah it's jan. 12th and I'm wearing flip flops because it's 60 degrees...CrAzY!) and was horrified at the state that I have let my feet slip into. I need to find someone to take care of this mess. I guess that might be a little bit of an overshare, but there ya have it.

Probably not worth reading...

I'm not sure I have anything interesting to say today. I'm really just posting becuase it's been 5 days or something. I'm sure my loyal fan base is eagerly anticipating what other clever, wise, though provoking, and thoroughly interesting things I have to say.

I hope you're not disappointed.

I've started a couple posts in the past few days but never finished them because I just didn't think they were that interesting, or well written. My parents came to visit this past weekend, and I am convinced they are the best parents in the entire world. Thanks to them I have a wahser and dryer, things hung on my wall, clothes put away in their proper place, and christmas decorations neatly packed in boxes until next year. So that's a good.

Work is going well. I've been really busy. The new bible study I'm leading got off to a good start with 40 people at the first one. That's exciting for me becuase that's a lot of people to have show up for anything around here! So I'm hoping they all come back next week!

I guess that's about all I have for now. I'm going back to the book pile on my desk and I'm going to fill my mind with the wisdom of others!

Evangelism Part Deux

Ok...still working out the Bible study for Sunday, which I'm happy to report does have quite a lot of digging into scripture involved.

Anyway as I was looking through the Old Testament and reading through this book by John Bowen on evangelism I was struck at the emphasis on community. Hmmm...the picture we often get of evangelism is from evangelists like Billy Graham or something like "Evangelism Explosion" or "Dialogue Evangelism" and while those personal, tete-a-tete moments are very important in some people's faith developement, I think we often overlook the attraction and evangelistic nature of a welcoming Christian community, where people feel safe to ask those spiritual questions and have room for spiritual developement.

What are we doing in our communities (or congregations) to be that type of community that Moses was asking the people of Israel to be when he said, "So just as the Lord my God has charged me, I now teach you statutes and ordinances for you to observe in the land that you are about to enter and occupy. You must observe them diligently, for this will show your wisdom and discernment to the people, who, when they hear all these statues, will say, 'surely this great nation is a wise and discerning people!'" Do people look at us and say, "wow they are a wise and discerning group of people."

Do people feel free to come into our Christian Community and ask the "God" questions that they have without ten people jumping on them and preaching from our soap boxes the right answers to them and telling them how wrong they are to have thought anything else. Do they feel welcomed into the community, like they could belong here.

Just some of my thoughts on the issue today.

I Want To...

Write a book. This feeling has been coming on for a while now. I wish I could say it was because I had an area of expertise that I felt I could write on and contribute to the betterment of society. Unfortunately I don't know enough about anything to write a serious book...so I'm thinking a novel will have to do. Although I don't really have a great story line, or even character to that this desire for writing is springing from. I think it's more of a feeling of something inside of me trying to get out.

It's like when I was in Florence and we went to see Michaelangelo's David. As you walked down the hallway to this magnificent statue, there were other pieces of work, presumably unfinished statues that in themselves were awe-inspiring works of art. The amazing thing about these statues is that it really looked like the people were trying to escape from the stone. Those half-done statues kind of show my feelings.

But where do you start when you're writing a book. I can't even puncuate properly! I'm a grammatical nightmare. And where on earth am I going to find time to write a book, and if I did would it just be another book that sits on the the shelves of Barnes and Noble that everyone looks over, if I was lucky enough for it even to get to that point. I think I've been reading too much Jane Austen. I have a high regard for her writing style and the way she develops characters, and maybe I'm just wanting to be like her.

On another note, my TV is broken. Not that I've watched in since the World Series anyway, but American Idol starts soon, and I'm a complete AI junkie! ah well, maybe without the TV I'll have more time to start writing that book.

Evangelism...

My brain is full, too full. My stomach is starting to tie itself in knots, and I feel like I could cry. I am starting a new "bible" study on Sunday morning. I use the quotation marks on "bible" because I'm not sure how much of the Bible we will be getting in to...and that's something that drives me nuts too (if I'm going to lead Bible Study, I want to be in scripture ya know.) Usually I am so directed in what I'm going to teach, lead, or facilitate when it comes to Bible study...and I love doing it. I'm always comfortable in front of a group of people talking about something I'm passionate about and believe. And here I am as the new Director of Christian Outreach of a congregation preparing to teach her first official series of studies on Outreach and Evangelism and I feel like I'm grasping at straws to find something worth saying.

In light of some recent events in my life, and due to some self "searching" I have been doing brought on by the books I am reading preparing for this class, I feel like I don't even have a clue what I'm talking about. I went to school for this right? I'm supposed to be a professional...people are looking to me as an authority on this subject (a thought that makes me want to smile and laugh, and run and hide at the same time)

Here's what I know. On Sunday morning people will walk into my "classroom" and they will expect me to give them a system, or teach them a cookie cutter method that will help them share the gospel with the non-christian people they know to the end that they don't feel like idiots and their friends believe in Jesus and are saved. And instead I will tell them that there is no such method, and there is no system. I can't give them "7 things that highly effective evangelizers do" Because I don't believe that. And I feel like the church (not just the church I work at, but churches in general) have fallen pray to the "diet pill" society that we live in and are looking for a quick fix to our little problem with declining church membership...becuase that seems to be what people in the church are worried about...declining membership. I'm not trying to overgeneralize here...I know there are people out there who are genuinely concerned with the souls of the people in their lives, and those they don't know. I know there are people who are desperately seeking to live lives of Christian witness.

I just feel like there is a big moutain ahead of me...and something that usually excites me has me all confused, and is causing an internal struggle that I haven't struggled with in a while. So i guess on one side of things my brain and heart are at least focusing back on the ideas of evangelism and outreach...not subjects that were stimulated for me in previous work...so I will take that as the blessing in this whole situation, and pray that God uses me in some way shape or form through this study.

Happy New Year Miss Crabby Pants...

Ack...today I am crabby. I am openly admitting it to my blogging world. I think I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed or something. I can't quite figure out what my problem is. I am frustrated with myself for always wanting to be a people pleaser...but not always liking what I have to do to please them. I'm not sure if this makes much sense, but it always seems to me that at my busiest points of the church year, someone comes up to me with a great idea that they've had. Their ideas usually are legitimately good. The only problem with it is that they very rarely want to actually do the work to make their great idea happen, and they expect me to carry out that portion of the equation. Me, being the people pleaser, trys to find every way to do that, but one person can only do so much and I always end up frustrated with them for putting stuff onto me that's just getting in the way of things I am trying to accomplish. so today that's part of my frustration.

The other thing is people saying things that aren't 100 percent truthful trying to make themselves look better. It drives me nuts....

And then there's my television. I broke down and bought a Play Station 2. I really, really, REALLY wanted to get the Dance Dance Revolution game, because I'm a big old nerd like that, and I finally did it. Only last night as I was trying to hook it up to my television I couldn't quite figure it out...and between my cable box, vcr, dvd play, and PS2 there are so many wires coming and going that I can't figure it out.

Ugh...Frustration. I hate being crabby...and I want my tv to work. ah well...tomorrow is another day.

My Obligatory "End Of the Year" Blog...

Well another year has come and gone, and what do I have to show for it? Every year I start out ambitious enough to make some real changes in my life, become more organized, be healthier, not freak out so much, dry my hair more often, you know...the normal stuff...and every year I look back at the year and think, "maybe I'll do better next year." I'm like the Bridget Jones of America. Having said that, I don't see how I can possibly record all of my thoughts and feelings having to do with the entirety of 2005, and this blog probably won't be as eloquent as I'd really like it to be....hut hey, maybe it'll be better next year.

I made a lot of plans for my life last December. It's funny to see how my plans weren't quite perfect. There have been changes in my life of course...A new job, a new city, a new car, a new home, a new sister-in-law, and two new godsons. I guess those are all kind of big things. My hair is shorter, I feel slighly more mature in some areas of life...but the thing that strikes me is how much happier I am this year than I was last. Last year, I went home to visit my family at christmas and hated the thought of returning the place where I lived. I'm sure I cried. The other day I left my family, and I didn't feel like I was leaving my home, but going home. When I look back on the changes in 2005, I realize that most of them had little or nothing to do with my making a decision in the beginning. Yes I had "a say" in if they would happen or not (well most of them anyway)...I had to make a choice, but they came into my life as a part of God's goodness to me. I'm glad that God is in control of this crazy world!

So I wish you all a Happy New Year! I hope you can all look back over the past year and praise God for his goodness to you. I hope that your dreams are coming true and that God is opening your eyes to the wonderful things that he has in store for you.

So long 2005!

Rachel, This Is Your Life...

Didn't there used to a be a show where they would have someone come on and then say, "This is your life," and flash back a bunch of scenes from their life with voices and people from their past??? I might be making up a fictitious show, but if there were such a thing, my life could have definitely qualified for that show last night. My Aunt and Uncle come over for dinner with my Grandma and Grandpa. Always a good time! We sat around the table talking over the events of Christmases past and enjoying each other's company.

I had also found out earlier that day that a good friend from grade school and high school was in town from Oregon and we seem to making it a habit of getting together for our yearly Christmas catch up sessions. The plans were set for me to get together with two of high school friends later that night at a local bar. We met there and had a great time talking and catching up...laughing about old times...and telling stories from our time away from each other. During our conversation I mention to them that I had just found out where another friend of ours from high school (a girl I had known and been a dear friend to, for almost my entire life) was working in the area. As we sit around the table beer in hand, my friends pull out the cell phone and we 411-ed her place of work. Sure enough, she was working. I hadn't seen this girl in nearly 2 years, maybe more. We made plans for her to meet us at my parent's house after she got off work. Soon we were all sitting around my kitchen table with a bag of White Castle talking and laughing.

It's nice to catch up with old friends. I think it reminds you of where you came from. I don't think we see how much we've changed, and yet in some ways stayed the exact same, until we see our past. I'm thankful for the opportunities I've had to be with people I love over this break...and I know the fun is just beginning...TODAY I GET TO SEE MELISSA!!!! : )

Oh There's No Place Like Home For The Holidays...

Ah family! I am totally enjoying my time "up north" with my family for Christmas. Last night was awesome having Christmas Eve at Jacob's vicarage church(es). I drove up yesterday to meet the fam and Jake cooked us dinner, which was spectacular...how my brother ended up with the crazy cool cooking genes in our family I don't know. Then we got dressed up and went to the children's christmas service at jake's one vicarage church. It was fine...nothing too spectacular, kids saying lines...good stuff. But then we left and went to the little mission church that he lives next door to and preaches at every other week. It's a tiny old church with rounded pews. There were about 30 people there, but for some reason it was one of the best Christmas services I have ever been to. My brother basically "officiated" the whole thing. It was cool to see him doing the pastor thing and I was really proud of him. It definitely made me smile. Singing carols at the top of our lungs, getting compliments on my shoes and later returning to Jake and Gretals for good wine and present opening made the evening a great night on my account. Very Fun.

Today my parents and I (and the three dogs) drove back to STL. My mom cooked a meal that was so good and my grandparents came over to eat and exchange gifts. I love spending time with my grandparents and this was such a low key evening...and it's exactly what I needed. I had told my parents that I didn't want anything for Christmas and instead I wanted them to find an angel tree, or adopt a needy child for christmas instead of getting me a bunch of stuff...I thought my mom didn't really believe me, and of course she got me some little stuff as well, but I opened one box with a card in it, and it had a note telling me that they had donated money in my name to an organization that was helping needy children this Christmas. I seriously started to cry. It was the best gift ever. It's all I wanted for Christmas, and that's what I got. It was amazing.

So here I am on Christmas Night, hanging out with my parents (and the three dogs) and enjoying each other's company without the craziness of trying to see anyone and everyone who might be around...that's what tomorrow is for. Tonight is about spending time with the greatest parents on earth...and that's what I'm going to do now...MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

In The Grand Scheme of Things...

In the grand scheme of things, this is probably not that big of a deal but it's causing me a lot of frustration at this moment and I thought I would try to "write" it out of myself.

I'm sitting in my office one day before Christmas eve and my almost weeklong vacation from work and I am having the same feeling I have had at this time of year for most most of my semi-adult to adult life. It's a feeling in the pit of my stomach that says how will I get it all done. And that feeling gives birth to frustration and displeasure with myself. I am not frustrated or displeased with myself often, in fact my feelings for myself are usualy quite opposite from the ones I am feeling today. Why do I always procrastinate and why must I always be disorganized. I have brief shining moments that I can look back on and think, "wow I was really organized for that event." But most of the time I consider my life a "beautiful disaster." Disaster because it's mass choas...and beautiful because even in the midst of chaos there's something distinctly "me" about it, and I do appreciate my uniqueness.

Anyway it all started this morning as I drove the hour to Springfield for those few last minute gifts. Of course when I got to the store, they were all out of what I was there for and since I had no back up plan I floundered around for a while before heading back home, and to my office, without the intended present or anything to take its place. I headed into my office knowing that I needed to assemble all my receipts and such to be reimbursed and paid out of this year's budget. I've known this was coming. I knew I was going to STL for Christmas. I knew the 2005 would come to an end. I knew I wouldn't be in the office, and that my treasurer and I would likely have to communicate through notes and such to get everything paid out of the proper budget line item and on time. But did I plan ahead for this....no...my receipts are strewn across my office like they exploded from some type of land mine. Of course some of them were electronic receipts in my email inbox, one of which seems to have mysteriously disappeared from its place there. I'm missing two from walmart (which is pretty good considering I had like 400 I could have lost and only 2 of them are missing) I now have to try to organize all of this crumpled paper into some sort of sense for the sweet woman who volunteers to do our church finances...and I am really upset that I can't find everything I need...that my stuff isn't organized. How does this always happen. Whenever I have a vacation coming up, there are always things that need to happen before I leave, and I never quite get them done the way I know I could have because I don't allow enough time. Is this something I will grow out of...I don't know.

I need a personal assistant to organize my life and keep it that way...any takers???

I've Got The Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy...

This morning I got my oil changed in my car. You're probably going to think this is weird, but the oil change place (I don't really know what it's called) has become a place where I know I will get to relax. Sad that I only go there every 3 months. I find myself running around like a crazy person most of the time, but when I go to the oil change place there are at least 30 minutes waiting for me where I do nothing...but sit. It's beautiful. I can read if I want to read. I can take a nap if I want to take a nap. There's always coffee there (bad coffee, but coffee nonetheless) and no one there knows me and needs anything from me. Since my car isn't even a year old yet, I can also rest assured that they will come out and say, "Rachel we changed your oil and everything else looks great" No need for a 300 dollar repair on something that's leaking. It's beautiful. Then I can drive away in my car with clean oil, tire pressure even, and winshield washer fluid filled to the brim. What more can a girl ask for.

Today as I was sitting there I heard two things that caught my interest. Thing number one was the story on the radio about Bill Gates investing over a million dollars in a program designed to teach high schoolers how to play bridge. Ok...I don't keep track of where Mr. Gates puts his money and he is probably doing lots of nice things with his insane fortune, but I find it hard to be excited about the fact that he is putting all that money to a program for BRIDGE!!! I have high schoolers in my youth group that might lose their home because of money issues. I have kids who can't afford new shoes. I have kids that don't have coats for crying out loud...and he wants to teach them to play bridge. Well thank you Mr. Gates for your concern for today's teenagers. Way to understand where their real needs are. Enough of that....

Then as I was sitting there I read an article that made me smile. It was about taking pleasure in life. I think they might have a point there. I know it seems like I rush around a lot and don't take time to smell the proverbial coffee, and I think I see it in other people as well, especially during this time of hustle and bustle. The article talked about all this research about our brains and where pleasure registers there...blah blah blah, but the part that really stuck out to me was a list that a bunch of people compiled about the things that bring them joy; things that make them laugh, smile, and give them happiness. So I decided I am going to make a little list right here, feel free to do the same, and if you tell me what puts a smile on your face...I just might try to make it happen!!!

1.) Great jazz music that is so thick with sound you want to wrap yourself up in it.
2.) Emails from friends.
3.) Babies that giggle
4.) A hug from someone that's bigger than me
5.) A hug from a little child that barely comes above my knees
6.) A Glass of really great wine
7.) Laughing so hard you think you're going to pee your pants, or do something else really embarassing!
8.) The person who washes your hair and give you a head massage at the salon.
9.) Playing trivial pursuit, or the 90s game, with my family
10.) Picking up a friend from the airport...the exact second you see each other and scream because you're so excited.
11.) Telling stories...especially ones that make other people laugh.
12.) The Chanel counter at the department store
13.) Pirones Night
14.) Realizing I've just run further than I ever had before
15.) A good book. Even when I've read it 400 times before
16.) Kids in church
17.) Inside jokes
18.) My dog when she first gets up in the morning and is all sweet
19.) When my dad tells me squirrel stories
20.) Totally ignoring work to make a list of things that make me happy!

Refrigerator Rites...

So today as I was heading into the office my "all christmas all the time" station was getting a little interferance from another station and I heard something that made me stop an think. The guy was talking about his theory on Americans and why they're so busy. I'm probably not even going to begin to do this guy justice, and the accuracy of my adaptation of the story can be questioned but here it is.

He was saying that Americans complain that they don't have time for good friendships and relationships, but he says that Americans make themselves busy to cover the fact that that they don't have good friendships and close relationships. He defined these close relationships by calling them regrigerator rites relationships (when you can walk into someone's home and take something from their refrigerator without asking for permission.)

So of course wanting to think literally on the subject, I began counting in my head the number of people whose refrigerators I feel free to raid. Probably not surprisingly to many of you, I feel ok going in to most people's food and beverage stash without asking permission. Maybe it's because I have a lot of relationships that I would call close...maybe I'm just rude.

Either way, it's good to stop and think about. We were designed to be in relationship with other people. When we find the job, or other things starting to demand a little too much time, maybe it's time to stop and call that good friend to go out for a drink...or maybe stay in and raid each other's refrigerator.

I'm So Happy!!!!!!!!!!!

It's only 10am and so far today I've gotten my

Paycheck....

Christmas Bonus....

and

A Free Washer And Dryer!

wahoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two things I'd like to share...

Thing number one...I have been working on my everday vernacular and adding some new phrases. Thanks to my organ playing, farm loving friend for doing his best to make a country girl out of me yet...Here is my new phrase I would like to share with you...I am busier than a one legged man in a butt kicken contest. I don't know why but that just makes me laugh...and I'd like to invite you all to mix it into your everyday speech as well.

Thing number two...thank you to my dear friend for reminding me of the list that our parents once thought up...and apparently still have. My parent's have great friends who have two children, and my parents have two children as well..me and my brother...so our parents one night, thinking they were funny, made a list at our local restuarant. The list is how they placed bets on who, of us kids, they thought would get married first. The order would change from time to time. I think I have pretty much been at the bottom of it since it's beginning. Anyway I think it's funny that they had a list, and I think it's even funnier that they still have it. Thanks for the reminder Mel... ; )

A Night in The City...

No, I didn't go to NYC, Chicago, St. Louis, or even the booming metropolis of Springfield MO...I'm talking about Silver Dollar City. That is where i spent my evening last night...but since I haven't blogged in the past few days, I thought I would just give you a rundown of the events of my blogging absence (please understand that I will be leaving out my trips to walmart because I feel like the organization has received enough love from my blog in the past couple weeks so I won't be mentioning that today.)

Friday was spent working...nothing out of the ordinary there. Friday night however I went to the church secretary's house and we had christmas dinner and played games. She taught me how to play this dice game that I totally Rocked at!!! I thinkI'm going to Vegas. My luck changed when we moved on to the Trivial Pursuit game. We started with the old-school Silver Screen Edition...oh man, I didn't know ANY answers. My mom would have been disappointed in my because I got one question about Gone With The Wind that I thought I would know, but I had nothing on that either. The we moved on to another edition of the game and I sounded a little smarter...but Judy definitely kicked my behind at the game.

Saturday was Christmas program practice and as my stress level increased, I was lucky enough to have several people here at church tell me that it would all work out and be ok. I chose to believe them. Saturday night my friend Aubrey and I went to the local youth leaders Christmas party. Oh man. We had it at one church's "youth room" It had pool tables, ping pong, fuseball, karoke, and my favorite, the Dance Machine. It was like youth group play time heaven. I had done the dance machine before, but it had been a while. Aubrey and I got on this thing and went to town. I highly recommend you trying it. The first few times you're just going to look like an idiot...but after that it starts to get pretty fun! It grades you when you're done and tells you how well you did. Aubrey and I did it like 10 times in a row to make sure we got the A. I think I want to get one for my house, and play it all the time!

Yesterday was the SS Christmas program. It was really like a "remodeled" Lessons and Carols, if you're familiar with what that is. I know that you can expect some kids to not show up and do their parts, BUT when there are only 7 kids to begin with, you really need all the help you can get. So when I was told that morning that one wouldn't be there, I was thankful for my friends who stepped up to help! I think it went pretty good and people really seemed to enjoy it...Did it come off the way I wanted it to??? Well not how I pictured it in my ideal mind, but I think the message got across and that's what matters. I was so proud of all the kids who got up there and read parts even though they didn't want to! It was fun to see them kind of break out of their shells. Hopefully next year the idea won't make them quite as nervous. I actually gave some kids microphones and let them speak their lines from a closet...never done that before, but I think it worked.

After that some of the youth group, and youth group supporters, went to take some gifts to the one family we adopted. This is one of my favorite activities for the entire year. It was so nice to see the kids see what it's like to help people. I realize that being a director of Christian Outreach is about getting the gospel out to the people...and giving Christmas presents doesn't necissarily say, "Jesus Christ died for your sins...call upon his name and be saved." But I think it does show a little bit of love to people who are in serious need of it. It's just good stuff.

And then my trip to Silver Dollar City. People come from all over the place to see the lights at Christmas. I have sat in "Silver Dollar City Traffic" almost every other night in the past few weeks. But we braved the crowds, and the 30 degree weather to see all the sparkle and christmas cheer it had to offer. I rode a rollar coaster, backwards, in the cold...we watched a christmas tree with dancing lights (an odd thing to have for a main attraction if you ask me)...we saw a very small part of a really strange presentation on musical instruments from the bible...I rode a fake camel...we ate A LOT...saw the parade of lights twice...the girls and I tap danced in the streets. A good time was had by all. I might have some pics to post later from our fun filled Christmas evening.

And now, I am going to clean my office.

Words You Never Thought You'd Hear Me Say...

(Listen Carefully John and Kim)

I absolutely love the people at WalMart. They were so incredibly helpful and understanding when I returned 250 dollars worth of merchandice and purchased 300 more. I love them.

Nerds, Disappointments, and Melissa...

Stick with me on this one, I have a few shout outs I'd like to...well...shout out.

First of all this one goes out to all the nerds. I'm slightly afraid to say it, but our dear friend Delilah, the Angel of the Night, prompted me on this one (and of course, it's only appropriate that she gets a shout out in the nerds section, because I do believe she has made a living out of embracing her nerdiness.) As I walk out of church and step into my car, and turn the key I am greeted with the sound of my engine and the sugary sweet voice of Delilah asking me to call in and share with her one of my favorite Christmas traditions. I wonder what Delilah would do if I called in and told her that our families favorite tradition is hiding the "scary" Santa Claus on each other and trying to one up each other each year. Anyway Delilah reminded me of a time when my dear brother came down to visit me in NC. He's going to get the nod for "biggest nerd" of the night. Jake came to visit and we decided to take a little trip down to Savannah, GA. On our return trip we were trying to find the delilah broadcast to make fun of the people who were calling in...and we found out that she was playing all Christmas, all the time. Jacob kindly reminded me that it was still advent and instead of Christmas songs, Delilah should have been playing Advent songs...so I, being the good sister that I am, told him if only we had a hymnal we could sing advent hymns instead...of course I wasn't planning on him actually having a hymnal...But he, being the ever faithful seminarian had one in the back seat. So as we drove down the highway I held open my cell phone and sang advent hymns with my brother by the glow of my display screen...when we had exhausted that list of songs...he chanted compline. Yep...we're nerds...total nerds. Thanks Delilah for that memory. Also in the Nerd category for tonight I would also like to call everyone's attention to a PetSmart commercial I heard on the radio telling me that I could bring my dog down and have her picture taken with Santa...Do People ACTUALLY do this???? I would think if there was anyone who would pull this kind of shennanigans if would be me, but I know full well that Lucy wouldn't stand for it...Does santa ask them what they want for Christmas. Our Society is kind of messed up don't you think...taking animals to sit on Santa's lap.


On to the Disappointment category. Today I found out that the one family my youth group shopped for for Christmas has been going around to all the agencies in town getting gifts for them, so now I have hundreds of dollars of gifts for kids that don't need them, thus I spent 2 hours with the Salvation Army trying to sort the whole mess out and figure out if we can find kids for these gifts. I think we have it under control...it just means more work for me. sheesh. It's frustrating when you go above and beyond to help someone who says they are needy and they have lied to you...But now we get to help people who really need it, so it's all good, but I was disappointed!

Second Disappointment...If any of you have called my home phone number you know that my answering machine tells you that if you are looking for Rick Beck, he doesn't live here. Yeah...well there is one lady with a particularly thick skull that this message has not yet gotten to. My dear "friend" Kay from American Recovery Systems (please feel free to send hate email to her...she's driving me nuts) keeps calling. She calls before 8am on Saturdays...she calls late at night...she calls in the middle of the day. I think she has my number on her cell phone speed dial or something because she calls ALL THE TIME. Of course she is looking for Rick Beck and for some reason, even though I've been telling her for the past 5 months that I don't know this man nor do I know a way to get in touch with him, she thinks that I do. She's accused me of lying...she's accused me of hiding him from her...and today she leaves me a message, "Rachel...be responsible, call me (doesn't leave a name because she knows I'll know her voice) and give us the information we need." I can only guess that she is stupid. Seriously...if I knew the info I'd give it to just to not have to hear her voice again. So I call her and kindly tell her that I still do not know him, I still do not know how to get ahold of him, I'm not planning on meeting him, and I would appreciate it if she would stop calling...and she begins accusing me again...I ask her why we have to have the same conversation all the time...she HANGS UP ON ME!!!! Ok...apparently no one gave her the memo that there is only one person that is allowed to hang up on me...the OG, miss SS (which by the way if you're reading this you're doubly allowed to hang up on me since I haven't called in forever, but I still love you!!!!) So I called back...talked with like 4 of the managers there and let's just say, I think we have the problem taken car of...but man...she is annoying.

Third disappointment...I think my dog hates me. I haven't been home much since last thursday and I think she's starting to get mad. Today when I went into the bathroom she had pooped on the floor (not like the "I had to go real bad" poop but the "I'm mad at you" poop, and yes there is a difference) And she had broken my mirror that I had standing up in my closet...does this mean she'll have 7 years of bad luck, or does it transfer to me because I'm her owner???

Ok and last but not least, I'd like to give a shout out to Melissa, who is neither a nerd, nor a disappointment...I love you girlie...can't wait to see you soon!

Wow...this is a long post...I think I just realized why I like blogging so much. I had so much to say about my day today and I could just write it out here, and the computer can't tell me to be quiet...it can't shush me...it has to listen! I love it...captive audience! And now...I think I'm going to be especially nerdy and go to bed super early!

The Joys Of Small Town Living...

Yesterday I left the office a little early...everyone else had vacated the premises by 3pm so I decided it would be ok if I wasn't there as well. I had things to do. I thought I would pay a few bills, run to the post office, you know those things that get left behind when you're super busy. So as I'm leaving church and pulling into city hall to pay one of my bills a car pulls up right next to me, and it turns out to be the cleaning lady from church (apparently she knows the car I drive) and asks me if I would mind going up to let her into the church, so I do because I was really looking forward to someone emptying my waste basket for me. After that I go to the post office, which apparently closes at 4pm here in our little town. Since when do post offices close at 4pm...I thought it was 5...I have gifts to mail...and at this point i'd like to apologize to any friends in MN, OH, or NC who may not get their gifts in time because of the silly post office closing so early. yuck. But it was nothing that I was going to get too upset over, and after a very fruitless trip to the post office I decided to run by home and feed my darling dog. When I get there I have another nasty note from the people at the Water place...apparently each month I'm supposed to be reading my water meter when I send in my water bill. Here's the thing...I grew up in a city where people read your meters for you, so I have no idea what a water meter looks like, and on the bill it doesn't have your previous meter reading so I have no idea even what sort of numbers I'm looking for. Well it seems that your's truely has been reading the wrong meters for quite some time now...like since I moved here. But yesterday was my day. When I got home the lady that lives in the other side of my duplex was sitting out in our front rock garden and I asked her if she had any idea where the water meter was because I had yet another nasty note on my door telling me I had read the wrong meter. She points out into our neighbors rock garden (by rock garden I mean yard but we don't have yards we have rocks) and there is a little black sewer lid...heavy metal sewer lid, and apparently you have to pick up the lid and look about 2 feet down into the ground at a dial covered in dirt and THAT is the water meter. I felt pretty victorious and slightly like I had stepped back into my ancestors shoes with doing something as primitive as reading your own water meter. I guess you learn something new ever day! I guess I shouldn't complain about having to read my own meter because our water bills are really cheap...probably because they don't have to pay anyone to come around and read our junk for us. So I'll just be happy...and the water people will be happy that I've finally found the right meter!

Please Pray...

If you feel so inclined, I'd like to ask you to pray for some kids that I know here. I think their families are struggling with financial things...like big financial things...and I know it has to be hard for them, especially this time of the year. So if you could pray for them that would be great.

Also if you could pray for me as well that I would have wisdom and discernment regarding the best ways to help them and be a support to them and a Godly influence during this season of struggle. It's really hard for me because I want to be able to make all the trouble go away, but I don't know how to do that or what the best steps are to take that would be the most help to them.

Thanks in advance. I appreciate it!

What to say, What to say...

The last 3 days have been so jammed pack full of stuff. I don't even know what to write about and share here in my little blog world. So I'll just go with the thing that made me the happiest.

Yesterday I took some kids from my youth group shopping. We adopted two families from the Salvation Army to help this Christmas. I made gift lists for the kids that we were shopping for and yesterday split up my youth group and let them loose in Walmart to do the shopping themselves. This is the 4th year in a row that I have done this with a youth group and I am always so impressed with the kids. They really do a good job with their budgets and finding great stuff for the money I tell them they can spend.

There's something great about helping someone who needs it, but I think there's even something even more amazing happening when you equip the youth to do it, and watch it happen. I was really proud of my kids, and I won't lie...it gave me an all around good feeling.

I haven't asked anyone for anything this Christmas, I am having too much fun helping other people...so if you're out there, and you were thinking about giving me something for Christmas, I give you full permission, ask you even, to take me off your list and fill that spot with someone who wouldn't get anything this Christmas unless people outside of their immediate family and friends stepped up to help. Call the Salvation Army, or find an Angel tree. There are a lot of kids out there that will go without this Christmas...wouldn't it be neat if we all found a way to help and bring a smile to an unsuspecting child's face!

ARGH...

Can someone please invent some kind of homing device for my cell phone so that whenever I lose it I can just press a button and it will hop to my hand...

Confession....

I am a complete book nerd. In the past two days I have read one book cover to cover, finished The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrove, and started Northanger Abbey. There's something about the coziness of a warm house on a cold day that just makes me want to curl up in a blanket and read a good book.

I'm so excited that I finished The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. It's one of those books that I managed to escape reading when I was young, even though I remember most of my friends reading it. I knew I would want to see the movie, and I like to read books before I see the story in a movie. And I'm glad I finished this one...what a great book, even though the language is easy and the story is fast, I found myself smiling, and unable to put it down as I got to the second half of the book. A great story of good vs. evil.

I missed North Carolina for the first time today...correction, I missed some people form North Carolina today that I hadn't thought about since I left. It was kind of weird.

I realized today that Christmas is little more than two weeks away...and I have so much to do before then...and so much to prepare for at the beginning of the year at work. Hope it all gets done.

A Day in My Life...

8:12 am...the phone rings. I realize I meant to get up 20 minutes ago and hurry to the phone. I notice that the pastor is on the phone and cleverly try to hide my "I just got up" voice. Have sneeking suspicion I have failed.

8:13am...pastor tells me the office has been closed because of the snow.

8:14am...look out window. snow? there's maybe 1/4 of an inch on the ground.

8:15am...crawl back in bed....mmmm sleep.

10:26am...wake up and realize it is way later than I had thought

10:27am....get up

10:28am....make oatmeal

10:30am....take shower

10:35am....eat oatmeal

10:55am....decide that I am a much better driver than most people here and decide I can make it into the office and accomplish some stuff today even though the rest of the county is staying indoors.

11:00am...approach gingantic hill of a driveway at church and begin ascent.

11:01am....wheels spin on ice, try to go further

11:03am...realize will not go further on ice

11:04am...reverse down curvy hill to try to find some traction.

11:05am...try ascent again

11:06am...fail miserably

11:07am...try ascent again

11:08am...fail miserably

11:09am...sit in the middle of the hill hoping no one from church sees me sitting there

11:10am...make 15 point turn to go back down hill

11:15am...return to main road, and use alternate driveway up to church/belittle myself for not trying the other driveway first and for not listening to the pastor when he told me not to go in.

12:30pm...finish "must finish" work

12:35pm...head to walmart, the only place not shut down in town

1:35pm...return home and sit on my rear end reading a book all day

7:00pm...go to grocery store in matching sweat pants and sweat shirt

7:15pm...doritos and glass of wine for dinner (so classy!)

7:20pm...create blog entry that is sure the make everyone wish they had my life

7:24pm...signing off....ciao

Things that Make You go HMMM....

A couple things that may bring a smile to your face...here in the Ozarks sometimes people have a little different vocabulary, or at least a different way of spelling it...

Like the flower shop will sell you a Rose Bokay,

Or the Taco Bell that will sell you the Stuft burrito.

Yes places of business actually let people spell these things quite incorrectly on their billboards. Definitely something that cases me to stop and think

The Love of My Life...

What can I say, I'm in love. ok...Dad, don't get too excited. No, I haven't met anyone, but I am most definitely, very pathetically in love with a literary character. I went to see Pride and Prejudice last night. I have been in love with Mr. Darcy since my first reading of that novel my jr. year of high school. There's something about that book that captures my attention unlike any piece of literature I have ever picked up...I escape into the story and find myself coming back to it time and time again.

I will say that this movie did a fair job of sharing this timeless story. The actors did a nice job. There were several actors that I liked better in this movie than in the BBC production. The guy who played Collins was so much easier to watch than his predecessor! But who can compare to Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy.

Ultimately I just didn't feel like it captured all the wonderfullness of the novel, but let's face it...what movie can accurately portray my imagination, and the characters that I have made up while reading. And it's hard to cram an entire book into 2 hours...and I did enjoy this film, but when it was over and the row of high school girls sitting behind me say, "That was WAY better than the book!" I had an intense desire to sit them down and point out to them the superiority of the original writing! Ah well...read the book...sit down and read Pride and Prejudice. If you can make it through the beginning you will be rewarded with a great story!

On a slightly different note, I got shushed at a restaurant again last night...seriously...I have been shushed like 5 times in public since I have been here! I knew I was loud, but shushing, don't people know how rude that is!

An Amusing Picture...

Ok...close your eyes, no wait, don't close your eyes...If you close your eyes you can't read this. So use your imagination and picture me sitting at a piano in a room with blue walls. There are 8 children and a few adults looking at me as I'm explaining to them the idea of this years christmas program. I also was going to be the one to teach them the two new songs we were learning. So as I sit at the piano and plunk out the notes, I lead them in singing. And I sing loud becuase my thought is that if they can't hear themselves, they'll sing louder and not feel like they are the only one singing, and while I'm neither a very good singer nor a talented piano player, my evil plan worked. They sang. They began to learn the new songs. And then I made them a deal that took me back to my years of grade school. I told them that if there was anyone in the room that could sing louder than me, they would get a prize. As the words left my mouth I had a flashback of Mrs. King telling us the same thing and a young Rachel thinking that that woman was indeed very loud. But you know what...it worked too...the kids sang loud enough for me to hear them, and they even got a prize out of it.

Needless to say, after last Sunday I know why I never became a children's music director...it would not have worked out for me. So if there are any people reading this who have ever tried to teach music to a group of children, I'd like to give you your due credit. I know you were probably underappreciated, so I thank you for doing what you do, so that I don't have to!

How Do You Measure, Measure a Year

Last night I went and saw RENT, the movie. After many years of hoping to see the musical and loving the music, I was given a fabulous opportunity to see this show live in St. Paul Minnesota when I was in college (thanks laura for letting me go without you!) And I sat mesmerized by the music, the story, and the imagery. I can still remember how it felt to watch that show...I remember what I was wearing, and the random lady sitting next to me who sold me her extra seat for super cheap. It was unlike any theater I experience I had ever had. So different from typical musical theater. The story captivated me. It made me laugh, sigh, cry (not the soft tender find but the kind where you wanted to sob but there were too many people around.) and ultimately it made me smile.

I've wanted to see it again...but I kept missing it in different cities or couldn't get tickest. And then I heard they were doing it as a movie. I was sure it would be horrible. And to be really honest, I wasn't that thrilled to go see it...but when I heard some of the original Broadway cast were going to be in the show, I thought I would give it a whirl. Since it has been released I have been aching to get into the theater and see it, and last night was my moment.

I was not disappointed! It was great...not as good as the stage version...but great. I loved it. I could feel the same emotions pouring over and through me that had when I first saw it on stage. For me there is something magical about the story, and the way that it is put to music. Granted, it's not the traditional love story, in fact it is far from it. It definitely touches on some issues that are a little touchy for some people, but are very real for others. I can't say that the issues that the story deals with are a part of my sheltered world, but I know they are real. And in the end it is one of the most powerful stories of love and forgiveness that I have ever seen. Ah...if you can handle the social/moral/ethical and sometimes controversial issues please go see this film, and I hope you leave the theater feeling like I did; my heart light because there is the potential for a deep love that dwells within each of us.

Go ahead laugh at me...I do!

So last night I was overcommitter with is usual in my life. I had to finish writing our SS christmas program, cook dinner, practice my flute, go to choir practice, pick up my front room, and have a meeting with my friend (to discuss the SS christmas program and eat the dinner I had prepared) Two funny things happened because I was a little scatterbrained...

1.) I overflowed my kitchen sink. I put the plug in it with some stuff, and then started the water. For some reason I thought it would be ok for me to walk away because I was sure I would remember to come back and shut off the water...Yeah...I forgot...water everywhere...EVERYWHERE. silly Rachel

2.) When I returned home from Choir practice I tossed the bread that I had in the oven for it to warm up and walked away...thinking that it would be ok...I smelled smoke so I went into the kitchen and saw flames coming from the oven...no, seriously there were huge FLAMES coming from my oven....apparently something had fallen to the bottom of it and started on fire. ha. I haven't set anything on fire in quite some time. good thing I caught it.

I guess the elements were just against me last night. ah well.

What...December Already???

I can't believe we are already in the last month of 2005. Holy cow...

So I was thinking last night, that I have totally arrived in the small town life of this community. I could really tell yesterday becasue when I went to the pharmacy, I saw not one, not two, not three, but four people I knew there. Then I left and drove past two more people I knew on the road who honked and waved. Then later in the afternoon I went to the grocery store and there were two people who worked there who smiled at me and said it was nice to see me feeling better. Then I went to the chinese restaurant to pick up my lunch (a place I have not been in two months) and when I walked in the door, they greeted me with my name and said it was good to see me. Then, perhaps the saddes occurence of the day...I walked into the Dollar General (it's the only store in our town) and the lady told me about their preferred shopper day coming up...I am now a preferred shopper at the dollar general. So I'd like to thank them for selling me cheap toilet paper and for giving me the opportunity to get yet another 25% off because I am loyal to their business.

There is something charming to the small town way of life though, I will admit.