This Morning...

This morning I went to the port/marina/park to run/walk/jog with my dog. It's a pretty beautiful thing...the calm morning, cars aren't really out yet, people aren't either. It's just me, my dog, the sun, water and my ipod (oh yeah and the geese, but I choose to ignore them).

A thought hit me while I was doing my thing...I have never been more aware of my sinfulness than I have since the beginning of this year. It's not that I've become a "worse" person...or that I've turned away from God...I still believe and claim his forgiveness on my life, it's just that I, a person who has never had a problem living in grace before, am having a harder time forgetting the wrong I've done, the places I've fallen short, and my inadequacies. And I'm not sure why. I just know that every once and a while I am hit with a feeling that I am SOOO not good enough (which I've always known, but my confidence in Christ has never been an issue...and it's not that I'm not condident in what my Jesus can and does do). I am just very convicted. Maybe because it's spring...and that means spring cleaning...maybe I need to Spring Clean my life.

I'm not even sure why I'm writing this here...I'm not looking for answers really. I just wanted to say that I think I understand some of the Psalms of David now where he is going through some rough stuff...and even though my life is pretty good, and it looks pretty good from the outside, on the inside, I'm still a big fat sinner. I get it.