Blessed...

I am blessed. My family is amazing. I thank God for you all...you are a gift to me, a gift that gets better every time I get to open you up!

And another blessing...God chooses to use me. I'm not sure why...but he does, and I am blessed.

Slightly Irrational...

So last night when I blogged I was slighly irrational...sometimes that happens to me after a long day. Today I am better. In the light of day I can accomplish many things and I've actually been rather productive today. I've gotten a lot done and there's still much to be done...but it will happen when it happens, and I'm not going to stress about it!

I have my donation bags packed and I've managed to figure out a way to NOT have to be at the meeting tomorrow night. So that's a huge plus...now I have about 24 hours before I get in the car and head to St. Louis to prepare to leave for Haiti. I am so excited.

God taught me so much last year through my trip there, and I know that things will be different this year, but I cannot wait to get back to serve and spend time with people who have taken up residence in my heart.

Overwhelmed, Overjoyed...

I'm starting to see this as a bit of a theme in my blogs...or at least a theme in the blogs that I start and never finish. I am sitting in bed, typing my report for the Elder's meeting this Thursday and I am overcome for the gazillionth time today with a complete sense of being overwhelmed. I just don't get how I can do it all...and maybe that's the thing...I can't do it all. The past few weeks have been chaotic, pouring into students, leading them in Bible studies, training seminars, and trying to have quality time with them. Then I have my adult Bible studies because people don't think I "care" about older people (ridiculous I might add) and that I don't spend enough time with them. I love the Bible studies...but lately I've been bending over backwards to make sure I make appearances at more meetings, and other activities so that I can "please" everyone. I'm trying to rally the leadership of our congregation around the idea that we are in some serious need of mission, vision, and planning...there's a building project on the way, our pastor is retiring, and those aren't the only changes on the horizon. I have my mission group that I meet with that is incredibly exciting, but then I think of all the potential for future ministry and feel so alone in the effort that I don't know what to do. I have youth trips to plan, outreach visions to coherently put into words, service projects for thrivent, evangelism meeting notes to make, and to top it all off I leave the country in 3 days and I haven't even begun to think about what I'm going to bring with me. That's just the "work" side of my life.

I'm trying to see my friends, and maintain relationships with a few people, exercise more, eat healthier, not bite my fingernails (which by the way I am an utter failure at lately), give my dog the attention she needs, keep my house clean, and the list goes on and on...

The only conclusion I can come to is that the people in this world who claim to have it "all together" are just lying to the rest of us.

Tomorrow is wednesday...it's Lent, so that means it will be a crazy filled day. I still have to pack for my mission trip...and then Thursday morning I have to be at the middle school at 7am (which I love doing but I may have to cancel this week) and then I'm supposed to be at a meeting at 7pm that evening get done at nine, pick up my dog, drive the 4 hours to STL, sleep for 3 hours and get to the aiport in time to catch my flight way stinking early the next morning. I guess it's my fault for planning so many things on top of each other...(although to be fair, I'd rather be chaotic than bored)...but seriously sometimes something has to give. I feel like bowing out of the meeting, but they're talking about serious stuff, and my ideas are all over the agenda...maybe I need to suck it up and tell them they don't need me for it, which in reality they don't...but my ego tells me that things would go "right" if I was there...but if I do that...ah...I guess it doesn't matter. I just needed to vent.

On the other side of things, I'm about to go to a place that I love dearly and see people that I have been missing for almost a year. Pray for me while I'm gone. I can't wait to see Haiti again.

Also...

Tomorrow I am fasting for the first time. I am fasting because a dear friend has an 18 year old boy in her church who is undergoing brain surgery tomorrow. His name is Spenser. I don't know him, but he seems like an outstanding, extraordinary young man.

Please pray for him, that the sugery would go well, and that his eye sight and personality will remain intact.

I don't...

I dont't talk to my brother enough. I love talking to my brother. When we talk, we don't talk about much...over the phone that is. We don't see each other too often...and we don't talk all that often...but I love my brother. I like just hearing what's going on in his world. I think we are so much alike, and so different at the same time. It's weird...and I don't know how to explain it, but I just talked to him, and I left the conversation knowing that I wish I talked to him more.

I guess I have to give props to my parents for raising us the way they did. I'm not sure how they managed to make sure that two kids so close in age ended up liking each other. I'm only guessing that my brother likes me as much as I like him.

he's my big brother...and I look up to him.

I guess that's all I have to say about that.

I'm a baller...

I posted this on my myspace, but I wanted to put it here, because I thought it was pretty funny...

On Mondays I have Bible study at the junior high school with a group of girls. Today one of the girls I had to take home wandered into the gym where some kids were playing basketball, so I joined in with them. I shot a couple shots and made them and this little girl looks up at me and says, "Wow...you should play on our team" and I said, "I think I'm a little old for that." Then she said, "Well you should play on the high school team." And I said, "I think I'm a little old for that too." She looked at me looking all confused and said, "How old are you?" and I told her I was 26....she looked at me and says, "You totally look 19." Ha....only a 12 year old would think I was good at basketball...I loved it. And I'm pretty sure 19 is too old to play on the high school basketball team too. I did get to whip up on some kids that were trying to show off though.
So there you have it...Rachel's my name, and schooling little kids on the basketball court is my game.

My List...

I have never been much of a list maker. Seriously I don't do it because I make the list, then it gets misplaced and I never find it again. Plus I'm the type of person who will just put things on a list so I can cross them off, usually meaning that I write something on the list that I have already done so I start off with a sense of accomplishment...My friends are list people...and recently my dear friend made me a "to-do" list for the month of january, but since I got it halfway through the month, I'm going to let it carry over into February. Here it is...

Rachel's January to do list:
1. Try a new food never eaten before (done...had the mexican steak wrapped around some kind of pepper...tres good. )
2. run at least 3 times per week (so far so good!)
3. Read 1 fun book and 1 educational book (halfway through the fun book...working on another)
4. take a risk (still not sure what this means...I mean I know what it means, just not sure what type of risk to take...hmmm)
5. organize shoes in closet (I'm moving this to last...I hate organizing...how about I pay someone to do it...)
6. throw away all socks and hose that have holes (this could also take a while...)
7. knit a scarf for lindsey (totally working on it...in fact we found the lost yarn, so I have officially started TWO scarves for lindsey!)
8. write a letter to someone you haven't talked to in over a month
9. get a car wash
10. put all car cds in a book (this seems pointless but I'll give it a go!)

It does feel good to have the list...it makes me feel like I'll accomplish something that I hadn't intended on doing in the first place. Plus it holds me to some things...like running...sometimes I just don't feel like doing it, but it's on my list...so I must!

Anyway I'll keep you all posted as to anything interesting that results because of my list. I'm sure there will be something...there always is.

Can't Nobody Hold Me Down...

Ok...so the last blog was a little bit of a downer. And although those feelings I talked about are true, I try not to dwell on them too much. I guess I'm just more of a happy person. I don't like to dwell on the bad, and while this may be out of the norm for me I am getting ready to blog about the second thing in my life that is trying to keep me down.

It's the common cold.

It thinks that it has found its next victim, but Common Cold...you have another thing coming. I have set up an arsenal of vitamins, drugs, and herbal teas to help ward off the grossness that is trying to take over my body. It will not get the best of me. sing it with me..."Can't nobody hoooolllddd me down...oh no. I've got to keep on moving."

Alone...

So the thoughts I am about to express are thoughts and feelings that have been whirling around inside my head and heart for a while now, and I want to preface it by saying that I feel so incredibly supported by my friends and family and I am sooo thankful that they are a phone call or not so short drive away. This confession has been a long time coming and it isn't necessarily an easy one for me to admit. But if Carrie Bradshaw can do it, so can I. (In fact watching Season 5 of my favorite television show and hearing the strong single independent Carrie confess this same feeling made me feel not as bad about claiming in.) I feel alone.

The loneliness I feel very seldom has anything to do with my personal life. Ok, sometimes it does. I long for the days when I could sit at the table with coffee and friends that just got it. I miss that. I don't often feel like there are people in my immediate life that are willing to stretch me, pull me, and challenge me to grow. Everyone who has an intimate knowledge of me lives at least 4 hours away and most of them are farther away than that. I miss having intimate friends to sit on the couch with and be ridiculous if I need to be ridiculous. So I guess on some level I feel a personal loneliness. There have been some big issues lately, mostly peripheral to my life, but handling them and dealing with them is always easier when you have a sounding board. I miss that.

The loneliness that has been hitting me the hardest is the loneliness of ministry. This loneliness is sometimes overwhelming. My heart convicts me so strongly in the ministry that I have been given. I had my junior high youth at a gathering this weekend. There were only 4 of them and I was the only chaperon. During one of the worship times, that feeling hit me. I felt alone. I felt like I was constantly handling the situations incorrectly...was I disciplining them too much, was I giving them too much freedom, was I getting frustrated when I shouldn't have gotten frustrated, should I be that annoying youth leader who "overdoes" it in an attempt to look cool for the masses...I wanted someone to hold my hand and say, "Rachel it's going to be alright." I needed someone to say, "10 years from now these youth will look back on this gathering as a changing point in their lives" even if it wasn't true. Being in youth ministry in this congregation is difficult. There aren't many people who even recognize that there's a younger generation out there...I want to make them all watch Pollyanna and remember that young people can impact older ones.

The loneliest ministry though is the outreach ministry. It's so difficult. I feel like there is very little help. People don't seem to care. I can put in 80 hours or 20 and it doesn't seem to make a difference. I don't know how to get a message across. I don't know how to get people excited about the things that I'm excited about and the the things I think God would have us be concerned for. I've been reading a lot of readings from the prophets in the old testament lately. I think prophets had a pretty junky job most of the time...they were called to bring a message that people didn't want to hear. Sometimes I feel that way. People don't want to hear that they should care more about others than they do themselves. We're taught in America to look out for number one, and number one is yourself. Sometimes I feel like church is more about chasing the American Dream than following Jesus. I think it's even more frustrating to me because I know I do it too sometimes...so then I feel hypocritical asking someone to do something that I fail at too. I don't even know if this makes sense. I just wish that I had someone else that cared about it like I do. Someone who was working with me.

I know that God is always with us, and working in and through me, and that I shouldn't feel lonely with God on my side, but I guess sometimes I have trouble recognizing that God is there. I think I'm just in a season of life where when I look ahead at all the things that could happen, and all the things I feel like I could accomplish it just seems so big. Too big. Too big to go it alone. And it's in those moments that I try to remind myself that I'm not going it alone. I just wish I could get that feeling to stick. Loneliness stinks.

Hesitation...

I hesiate to write this for two reasons...

1) Lindsey is going to be upset that I made something for someone else first,

and

2) You will all think that I have definitely gone off the "freak show" deep end.

Tonight I finished my first knitting project. It was a scarf for my dog. I don't even think she likes it. Ungrateful pet.

...

So it's been a while since I blogged, and quite honestly there has been a lot going on in my world since I last wrote...and there are so many things that I actually wanted to write about along the way. Unfortunately blogger hated me for a few days and wouldn't let me sign in, so believe me when I tell you there are loads of great blogs that were never written because technology got the better of me. (seriously, I watched Walk the Line today for the first time and i was blown away...I always new I wanted to marry Joaquin Phoenix...but after this movie I'm pretty sure I will be pining for him for the rest of time) Ah well.

Today is my parent's anniversary. They have been married for 29 years. The older I get the more I realize how incredible my parents actually are. I love them so much and I'm so thankful for their influence in my life. I think the thing that amazes me the most is how much they actually love each other. I often wonder if I will ever be able to spend day in and day out with one person, but the thing about my parents is that they would actually rather spend their time with each other than any other person, thing or activity. They are an amazing testament to marriage in it's truest purest form and in a world where relationships are getting more and more messed up and have a better chance of failing than sticking together, I have learned to appreciate the beauty of what they have together. I can look at them as more than just the people who raised me and love me unconditionally...I can look at them as a couple who has made a committment to each other and God and in spite of the hard things in life have stuck it out, and their relationship is even more beautiful because of it. And while I don't know if I'll ever get married, I do know that if I do I can thank my parents for all the lessons they've taught me about relationships, whether they realize it or not.

While I'm on the topic of relationships, I've been thinking a lot about them recently. Not specifically romantic relationships, or "friend" relationships, but the idea of two people giving to each other's existance. What's interesting to me is how you can be something to someone for an extended period of time and then something happens and it all seems to change. The relationship may still be there, but it just takes on a different form...it looks different, and it definitely feels different. Part of this "change" usually makes me sad...in a way I almost mourn the loss of what I had, but part of the "change" is good too I suppose. We all need change...we're dynamic creatures. It's in these times of change that it's important to trust God...

which leads me to my last thought. I had a great talk with my grandmother tonight. If you have never met my grandmother, you should. She's amazing. It's great because she always seems to know what to say to me...reassures me of Gods goodness. Tonight I was putting away the end of my Christmas decorations, and as I wrapped stuff up I was overwhelmed with the thought of missing my Grandma Adams. I have so much of her Christmas stuff...most of it I got when she passed away. I miss her...then I picked up my phone and there was a voicemail from my other Grandmother...her voice made me smile...then I called her...our conversation made my heart smile. She is so wise, and discerning, and caring. The best thing is that I know that she's praying. She's always praying...

I hope I grow up to be just like her.

I Simply Remember My Favorite Things...

What a week...So much has happened since I last wrote a blog the day after Christmas. It's been busy, crazy, fun, tiresome, confusing, fabulous and so much more. I recently spent 4 days in Minnesota. Some of my favorite people still live in the Twin Cities and I try to get up there to visit them a few times a year. This visit was special though because there were no conferences, youth groups, events, meetings, or anything else that was on the agenda...just good quality friend time. So if you'd like...take a walk with me down memory lane from my last few days of 2006 to the beginning of 2007.

First off...I was completely wrapped up in the adorableness of Godson Noah. I don't think this child could be any cuter, or have more personality. He has grown so much since the last time I saw him (and that was only 4 months ago!)




I love this child! I had so much fun playing with him, listening to him say "Hi" and observing his "Pity the Fool Face" and when you ask him what a snake says you can actually get him to smile like this...

Also I think Godson Noah liked the Christmas presents I brought! The cell phone seemed to be a big hit, and once he figured out how to walk in the snow boots I think he really liked them! Here he is geared up with some of his Christmas presents...

There was no shortage of fun while I was in MN. I love my Minnesota friends. Hanging out with Best Friend Danielle's Husband Paul is always a highlight. What I love about Paul is that the more I get to hang out with him, the more I feel like he is truly a friend of mine...he's not just my friend's husband but he's a friend as well...and he's funny...he coaches me in old school arcade racing games, watches late night CNN, Conan and the horrible Carson Daly Show, and reads bedtime stories about how to be a better superhero! He'll be talking complete nonsense one minute and the next he says something that is really profound. Also, another perk to being paul's friend is that he'll let you try on his Valentine's Pants...

Then there are my girlfriends...my sisters...Hanging out with Lindsey and Danielle is always fabulous. The only problem is that there just isn't enough time. And on top of Lindsey and Danielle time I even got to hang out with Laura...who is more beautiful every time I see her. I love these women. We laugh, cry, talk, eat, sing, play, and try to solve the worlds problems. They are better friends than any person could ask for. Here are some pics of the "photo shoot" with Laura...

And of course no trip to MN would be complete without a "sister's picture." My New Year's resolution this year is to make sure at some point all of the sisters are together in one place at the same time so we no longer have to talk about photo shopping someone in! Inga you were missed!

oh...and here's a fun one of Linds and I at midnight! Just before we played the messed up, not real, version of Balderdash...stupid Matel.



There are so many things I could say about this trip. I had so many highlights....from worshipping with my friends and bringing food to the homeless people on the snowy streets, to singing the goodnight lullaby to my Godson with his mother who happens to be my best friend. I wish that I could share in the everday life of these beautiful people. At this point in our life God has called us to different places, but thankfully the distance has not make these friendships any less fabulous, I actually think they have gotten stronger and more beautiful as the years have gone by. I cannot wait to see where God takes us! Lastly I got to be with Danielle and Lindsey as Noah experienced his first snow...we took about a gazillion pictures, but blogger will hate me if I try to post them all...so I'll close with a couple of pics that I adore of Godson Noah and me in the snow! Cheers to my friends...Cheers to 2006...and Cheers to a fabulous 2007!

Then End!

The glow of my tree...

It's the day after Christmas. I've just had a whirlwind week and weekend, and now here I sit in my front room, back at my own house, alone and quiet. My front room is lit with the glow of my Christmas tree. I left my dog at my mom and dad's house becuase I'm leaving for MN this weekend. The only sound is the hum of my heater. I have a glass of wine and I am relaxed.

There's so much I could write about. I have learned and grown so much in the past four days. There are two things that I feel like writing about but honestly time and words will probably fail to accurately share what it is I want to share.

The first thing is that I have the most amazing family. I love them more than I can express. I've always known how blessed I am to have amazing parents, and a wonderful relationship with my brother (and sister in law too). This weekend I got to spend quite a bit of time with my grandparents. If you know me at all you know how much I love my grandparents. I was always close to my three grandparents. Whenever there are family things I miss my Grandma Adams. Since she passed away there are still times that I wish I could call her on the phone because I know she understood me more than just about anyone I could think of. I think there were so many things about us that were similar...Grandma just knew me. I missed her at the candlelight service on Christmas Eve. I miss hearing her sing the harmony to Silent Night...I tried to fill in for her this year, but somehow it just wasn't as beautiful. I realized again this weekend how proud I am to say that I am a lot like my Grandma Adams. This weekend did give me the opportunity to spend quite a bit of time with my Grandma and Grandpa Ehrhard. My grandma is in the hospital and I got to spend a lot of time sitting at the end of her bed, talking about nothing imporant but just being together. (Mom, dad, grandma and grandpa...I know you'll read this....so don't roll your eyes yet. I just want to share with my friends how wonderful you all are) I guess all I really want to say about it is this...if anyone wants to know what true, real love and devotion look like, spend a minute with my grandparents. Your heart will be full...like mine still is.

Then there were the times this weekend when I got to hang out with my parents. They are still the people whose opinion matters most to me...and even though my father might tell you differently at times, I respect them more than anything. As I get older not only do I look to them for guidance and "parental" type things, but I also look to them for friendship. We really do have a good time together. So if you want another look at true love and see how playful it can be, try spending an afternoon with my parents. It's sure to be a good time! Especially if my dad reads you the story about Armodillo Ray.

And the second thing is this...I am convinced once again that God still speaks to his children today. I spent a lot of time in church this weekend. Each time I walked into the sanctuary with something hanging on my heart, and each time the scripture readings and sermons could have been written and spoken just for me. God spoke to my heart and reminded me of what Christmas really means. This year in my family the parties looked different, there weren't rooms and rooms full of presents, and our "holiday" was about as disjointed as it could be...but I think this Holiday has been one of the best ever because I was once again given the most precious gift...the gift of God with us.

p.s...if anyone tried to call this weekend, I didn't answer because my phone broke when I was in STL....it's fixed now...and should be working again.

p.p.s...I am going to MN this weekend and I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE ALL MY MN FRIENDS!!!!!! : ) And Beautiful Godson Noah. YAY!

Scary...

I saw the most frightening commercial last night. I was sitting in front of the tele, wasting time watching Dirty Dancing...not the movie, but the new reality show with Chris Judd...when I should have been wrapping present (which I haven't started) or cleaning up the kitchen after our Christmas Cheer party (which I'm partially started).

It was a commercial break and it showed a mom and dad sleeping soundly and the children sleeping in their rooms when all the sudden some women starts singing "Oh Christmas Tree." Eventually all the family members wake from their slumber and tiptoe down the hallway. As they near the front room you can see the glow of the Christmas tree and as the camera pans around the corner, Celene Dion is sprawled on the floor under the tree singing.

The narrator then says something to the effect of, "wouldn't it be great if every one could have Celene Dion under their Christmas tree on Christmas morning"

I didn't know if I should laugh or cry... If Celene Dion was on my floor on Christmas morning, I'd be a little worried. I think it was trying to sell her perfume.

Too Good to Be True!

I have a bunch of stuff I want to update everyone on...And I have lots of pictures from my new digital camera that I'd like to share...but in the interest of my time, I wanted to tell you all about my spectacular morning so far.

I overslept a little bit this morning and came running into work in a "haven't had my coffee yet" type of haze. A lady from church that I adore told me there was a package for me in front of my office door. Yay! My first Christmas present. So I opened my gift to see what it was and I tell you no lie...it was a Chia Pet. I have to say that this is quite possibly the best "church" gift anyone has ever given me. Not only is is a chia pet, but it is an elephant chia pet with a free Chia Alarm clock that rings the tune of "ch ch ch chia." Absolutely too good to be true!

To Give Thanks...

One of my favorite Thanksgiving moments was when I was living in a house with some amazing women. I could write about it here and tell you all about it, but instead I'm just going to tell you to check out Lindsey's blog (it's linked on the side of my page). Feel free to join in the fun and add to the list of things you're thankful for. It's fun...be as creative or ridiculous as you want!

This year, take some time to think about the things that you are thankful for...maybe start with the things you take most for granted...I'm sure you'll be blessed by the experience.

Happy Thanksgiving (tomorrow) to everyone!

Hair...

I got my hair cut again last night...and if I had a digital camera this would be the perfect moment for me to whip it out and take a picture of my fabulously cute hair.

Unfortunately I don't have a camera...and by Thursday (when I'm in STL around people with cameras) I will probably be struggling with trying to fix my hair in a way that doesn't look absolutely ridiculous! : )

But it's cute right now...too bad you can't see it!

Well...it finally happened.

Today I received my first invitation from a church singles group. Apparently the word is out that I am indeed a Christian and old (and single) enough to be part of a "singles" group.

I don't really know how to put this without sounding like a horrible person...but I've always kind of thought that "singles" groups were there for those adults who are starting the down slide of their prime and getting a little...well...desperate. I really don't think I fit into either of those categories...but maybe I just have the wrong view of things...I always imagine that the majority of people present at these types of group meetings are single women in the late twenties to early forties who are somewhat awkward when it comes to the art of conversation and relationship...but maybe I'm wrong and being a complete jerk. Maybe this event is something that would be fun, and a good way to meet other people my age in the SW Missouri area...of course I have a sneaking suspicion that this is the lie that all singles have to tell themselves to make themselves show up to an event such as this.

To their credit the group has chosen to meet at a micro-brewery and then go on the art-walk in Springfield...so it doesn't sound totally lame. I have not yet decided if I will grace the event with my presence so weigh in on the issue if you'd like...

Also...it feels like winter. It's cold. That's all...I'm out.

Frustration...

I hate when people clearly see that you are frustrated and say, "don't let this frustrate you." Um...ok.

I don't really know what else to say. I felt like blogging a couple seconds ago, and now as I sit at my computer I'm not feeling it quite as much.

The moral of this story is that I am frustrated. Slightly discouraged even. The problem is that when I get this way it's hard to focus on other things because I dwell on fixing the thing that's frustrating me. Am I weird? I sometimes wish I was the type of person who could just let things go and move on...but I'm not. My friend Rachel commented on something that I wrote and said that she was glad that I had these moments because it means that I have compassion...my father once said that maybe it was good that I got upset about some of these things because it means that I was still passionate about what I do. Maybe they're right...or maybe I just haven't formed the thick skin that I need for my job.

Last night at bible study my prayer request was for patience. Maybe this is God's way of teaching me patience. Would it be bad to tell someone, "You are God's way of teaching me patience." That's probably not the best way to approach the situation. Sometimes though I just want to tell people, "your mother would tell you you're being ridiculous right now." I realize that these probably aren't the best thoughts to put out there into the blogging world...anyone and everyone could read them...and my mom will probably call me and tell me I'm being ridiculous when she reads this...but it's just me, and what i'm feeling right now. I love people, and I want to lead them to jesus, but it's hard when situations make it hard for me to love them...Iguess that's when we realize it's time to step aside and let God do the work.

Waiting...

So it's no secret that I'm not good at waiting. In fact I'm pretty horrible at it. I used to joke that when God gave out the gift of patience, I was at the end of the line. When I was growing up I was at my friend Ingrid's house and I remember we were hungry...really hungry. We found some frozen dinners in the freezer and groaned when the package said we were going to have to wait a whole 2 and half minutes for the dinner to be done. I guess I'm ok with the fact that I'm a not a good waiter...I have other gifts. I was reading a book this evening as I was preparing for my Sunday Evening Bible Study group and it said that we should write down all our thoughts on waiting... so here are some of mine.

it's hard...

I think I don't like waiting because I'm afraid of what the outcome might be...or more that the outcome won't be what I want it to be. Maybe it's a lack of faith or trust. How many times have I read in scripture that God has a plan for my life...how many times have I heard people say, "if it's not worth waiting for, maybe it's not worth having." And yet this culture that we live in tells us we should have everything right now. Fast food. Convenience shops. ATMs. Pay at the Pump. Credit Cards.

It's not good enough to get out of college and get your feet on the ground, but you're supposed to be successful and make decent money so you can pay off your college loans and drive a nice car and have a nice home...and the constant question, "why aren't you dating anyone? Don't you think it's time to start thinking about getting married and having a family?" It seems we are always being rushed into the next phase of life. It seems like sometimes waiting is equated with being discontent...you're just waiting for something better to come along.

Maybe waiting is more about being in the "now" than anticipating the next best thing. I used to always feel content in the moment. I find as I grow older, I grow bored quicker...When I'm bored I become discontent, and when I'm discontent I start looking (rathing impatiently) for the next best thing to come along.

What would our lives look like if we lived in the now...if we embraced each moment for what it was and what it was worth...what if we really lived like each day was a gift that we have been given. What would it look like if we lived like each day would be our last.

I don't know...I suppose i could write on forever and ever on this subject and never make any sense whatsoever...but people are arriving for Bible Study so off I go.